Year in review...

I can't believe how quickly this year flew by. It was quite the busy year which is why I barely had time to write...1st grade just kicked my ass. Homework is just a bitch. Not hard work just have to find the patience within myself to help them and not do it for them. My advice to moms with multiples out there is to not take the easy way out. Don't put them in the same class, I found that it helped to build each of their confidence levels to be able to help each other out because you will find that one will have better reading skills and the other math skills, so it's nice for them to balance each other out in that way.

For 2 kids who started off in early intervention and needing speech therapy for lack of speech we are now what I call "over speeched!" Madi comes home and reports back to me about everything and everyone. In face some of the moms call me to ask about what's going on the classroom...or rather asks Madi because THEIR kids don't tell them anything! It's very cool to see how these kids blossom as they are midway through the 1st grade, no longer the lowest in the totem pole. They are now familiar with the school and with the teachers.

I went in to work with Tyler's class for a holiday project and was their for one of the little girl's show and tell. She brought in her make up collection and her brushes. I was so jealous! It was a beautiful collection and I asked for a playdate. 1st grade. These girls are growing up to 18 overnight. Madi is aware of a boy in her class who has a crush on her. She comes home and tells me he looks at her everyday and she runs. Everyone tells her he thinks she's cute. I ask her if he knows she doesn't brush her hair and she tells me she thinks so. So no motivation there for her to perhaps brush her hair without prompting from me since she has admirers without having to brush her hair...need a new angle.

Tyler has finally backed off the older women in the school I think...I do hear him and his buddies whispering about boobs and nipples. I guess boys will be boys and when they are playing sports and hanging around older boys that will happen. I try not to make the topic taboo at home. I want him to come and ask me questions rather than going out and getting the wrong answers. He tells me the other day that he can't wait to be a grown up. He wants to be able to say the F word, the SH word and the B word. My son continues to aim high!

We continue to try and decipher Madison. She is definitely my difficult child and pushes us to our limits. My guess is that I will be admitted to the Betty Ford clinic before she graduates from elementary school...I'm thinking perhaps we should move to Kentucky where it's ok to married off young!

Birthday Hell

Turning 7. I can't believe we are planning our 7th birthdays and it's getting to the point where I feel like we are planning a mini wedding. Do you remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where if we invite the Ditmeyers then we have to invite the Browns and if we invite the Browns then we have to invite the Smiths and so on and so on...and that was for a bbq. This is the samething. And it's like ok the kids have become friends with kids and now separated in 1st grade and with 2 kids I can't mentally and financially host 2 parties back to back for 20+ kids each party and plus kids outside of school! That's insanity! and then there is the issue of where we have it. We can't have it at home, because the house is not large enough for 20 kids and we are November birthdays so outside is not an option, plus the husband is anal retentive so I would just rather not hear it, thank you very much.

So I start of with a guest list to see how many kids we are dealing with and try and steer the kids in the right direction and make sure we are not leaving anyone out. I looked into a few options. And I need to point out that I am just appalled at some of these prices...I mean I just feel like I've been raped by just LOOKING at them on the website! So a certain place that shall remain anonymous, but you basically go there and the kids jump around. They advertise that they can play games, 3D Dodgeball!, and you get a private room for cake and pizza...you get i think 3 pizzas, and all this for $18/head on the weekends. It's less on the weekdays. Well how many has a weekday party and really?! $18/head to jump around on a trampoline?! Man! I'd like to shake the hand of that genious who came up with this. People are paying it. it's insane.

Then I have my own issues where I need things to match...and I get a bit crazed, but I admit it. If the invitations don't match the cake, napkins and goodie bags, then everything changes. And also, I can't pay full price. I have twins! I'm paying for 2 sets of everything!!! and yes yes, I know people have more than 1 or even 2 kids, but to do it all at once is a bit harsh. So after much finagling I have settled and convinced the kids that Madison is doing a princess theme at a place where they paint with her girls and Tyler will have a sports theme and doing laser tag with his guys.

I suspect that these birthdays will only get worse as we get older. However I think as we get older we will narrow the guestlist down to the BFFs and smaller but meaningful events.

The Mean Girls Club

It has been a crazy start to the 1st grade that is for sure. What a transition for ME from kindergarten to 1st. We now have homework which I have to get accustomed to. It's not difficult work obviously, but it's more discipline on me as a mom. I feel like I am being watched. So we have these reading logs we have to sign. The kids are to read 15-20 mins every night, write down the name of the book read, if they read it themselves, we read it , or a sibling did and then we sign it! and I know if I said we did that my kids would rat me out in a second...especially Madi!

And I have been trying to get in the habit of making myself come out of my home office early and checking for homework and helping them while preparing dinner and getting them showered. Instead of realizing it at 830PM and saying "oh just f*ck me there's homework!" ugh! One night I was exhausted and was gross and had to take a shower and of course Tyler announces "oh yeah, I have homework!" wonderful! it was a color by number. So I explain it to him and set him up at his table. I tell his father and he responds with "well what is it?!" I tell him it's a color by number. "What do I do?" Did he seriously ask me "What do I do?!" Did I want to punch him in the face? yes. so I explained it to him just as I did to his first grade son. Jump in the shower come out. He's on the computer. Tyler has colored in one shape. Again...just f*ck me now! As Tyler would say "cheese n rice!"

Today Madi comes home and shows me this list. It was a list of all the kids in her class. She then shows me how she and her girlfriend has made columns and labeled the columns "gff" that was originally "bff", but bff means boyfriend so they changed it to gff. So I had to explain to her the meaning of a bff. There were a few other silly columns but the one that stuck out was the "D" column. What does "D" stand for you ask? the "D" stands for decide. The girls need to decide if that child is someone they like or not and therefore a friend. I believe this is the start of "The Mean Girls Club"

As we finished dinner and were cleaning up she tells me, "Mommy, I think Kyle is going to be in the "D" column." ME: "really? I like Kyle, I don't think he should be in the "D" column." She looks at me and does it anyway. Looks like she will be the president of "The Mean Girls Club"

Selective Osmosis

We are in a society where we are constantly watching our weight. I know I am forever "on a diet", it's just the norm. My brother is always going to the gym and coming home and saying he is watching what he eats and wants to only eat healthy and so the kids are picking up all this through osmosis. Kids have what I call "selective osmosis". It's similar to selective hearing. They just soak in the wrong info. So their uncle is playing sports and stays in shape to do so and so Tyler picks up on it as he is just starting his soccer season right now. This is a great thing. He is conscientious about what he puts in his mouth, he "tries" to avoid fatty foods, pizza and candy does not count. However he does understand that it is important that he stays active and gets his exercise. Ok. Great!

Well we were in line at the Stop & Shop last weekend and it was busy, there were quite a few ladies in front of us. We're standing and I had glanced at the magazine racks...of all the magazines, Tyler HAD to comment on the one I was pretty grossed out at myself. It was the National Enquirer and I don't even know who it was but it was not a flattering shot and it was from behind of some in a bikini. There was cellulite on cellulite on cellulite. Just not nice. Tyler points out and tells me pretty loudly "Mom! That lady needs to workout!" The problem with that was that every "lady" in front of us TURNED AROUND!!! Did I want to be buried right there in the floor of Stop & Shop? yes! This is something that he has picked up through "selective osmosis" from his uncle.

Everyday after school I ask the kids, "how was school today?" and they either answer fine or not good. Either way I probe. Can't be just fine, SOMETHING had to have happened! What did you do? blah blah blah. So Madison tells me that a reading teacher had come into her classroom. I said that was exciting! Getting extra help for the class to learn how to read was awesome...and Tyler chimes in "yeah, she came in our class too...the girl was kinda cute." I ask, "what girl?" I was a bit horrified. I knew the reading specialist was going in, but she was much older than me AND she was definitely NOT cute! He replied "the teacher!" and thats when I found out there was an assistant...my son only saw the assistant...didn't see the REAL teacher...

oy vay!

First Day of 1st Grade!

Here we are...it took 6 years and many days of whine and cheese, but full day school. Got the twins up and dressed and we could still hear the snoring in the background...their father had taken the day off for the 1st day of school festivities...glad he could help! Getting back into the swing of things is hard after a whole summer off.


So I got the kids breakfast, got snacks packed, supplies packed and we're ready to go...oh wait...Daddy is not ready. Really? Cheese n rice! Why are we always waiting for him??? So finally he's ready and we go and we walk to school. As we approach the school we begin to see old friends that we haven't seen all summer. Tyler is excited to see people and is waving hello and talking to some kids and takes off for his classroom. Madison had her normal anxiety and was hiding behind me and wouldn't say hi or even wave to anyone. As we walked down the hallway and Madison was shooting her darts of poison from her eyes, I was surprised people didn't start falling down to their knees.

She has this look on her face...this look of just disgust, she just doesn't hide her feelings, that's for sure! So we found her locker and put her stuff inside and took her folders and supplies into the classroom. Met Ms. L her teacher and then we were instructed to find our way around the classroom and put our supplies in the correct bins for the class to share and to put her name on her folders. So we did this and met old friends along the way and of course Madi was less than pleased to see them...or at least she appeared this way. As this was happening, I had instructed the boys, Tyler and his Dad to go to Tyler's class and get settled, emergency forms dropped off and yada yada yada...but as Madi and I were moving along I turned around to find the boys right behind us! Oy vay! Tyler was eager to go to his class but I think Dad had anxiety too! Did I have triplets??? good god! Cheese n rice! and then I hear the bell ring! by now I was no longer shvetzing, I was full blown sweating! I had said to one of the moms I am sweating! and she replied no here we shvetz! and I said oh no girl, I am way beyond shvetz, I am sweating!!! So I kissed Madi goodbye and sat her down with her dear friend Matthew to play dominoes. God bless Matthew, Madi's knight in shining armour!

I went into Tyler's room just in time to give him a quick kiss and a hug to wish him a great first day and pray that everything got to wear it needed to go...

After school...we came home Dad was in charge as I was working from home. The kids were home from 12-5 with him and I was in my home office before I came back up to realize "where is Tyler's lunchbox?" No one knew. Day 1 and missing lunchbox. Dad cleaned up 1 lunchbox and didn't ask where #2 was. Breathe. I went through the backpacks to see what came home, more forms...oh! and the emergency forms I had already filled out for Tyler and Dad was suppose to drop off when he was in charge of dropping of Tyler that morning...breathe...but running out of air. HE'S exhausted from the 1st day of school activities and doing dishes and taking care of the kids...which was watching a movie with them all afternoon...breathe...oh wait can't...no air!

and She's Not Even 7 Yet...

It's not like I leave my kids to fend for themselves and let them starve. Tyler had a doctor's appointment yesterday in the middle of the day and so instead of me taking them to my mom's house where they normally go for the day and then have to pick them up only a few hours later for the appointment, I just kept them at home with me. We had a really nice morning, we had breakfast together, the kids did what they wanted, played games, etc. Then they wanted to help me, so I had them help me stuff some envelopes for a mailing I was preparing. It all worked out great. Then we left for the doctor's appointment, but before the appointment I wanted to stop by my office to get the mailings stamped and sent out and Madison knew this so she got her Hello Kitty sparkly purse and brushed her hair. She NEVER brushes her hair!

We got to my office and they were very pleasant. I did what I needed to do and we left. They did well at the doctor's office as well and then we went home. At home we had lunch and dessert then they settled down to watch tv and I went down to my home office to get some work done. About 30 minutes later Madi comes down and asks for ice cream. I hold up my finger to signal for 1 minute as I was on the phone. They know at an early age that when I have a phone in my ear you can't disturb mommy and now that they are almost 7, they should know better. Especially when it's my office phone. So she goes upstairs and comes back down after a few minutes and beginnings to go off on me! "No! you said 1 minute and that was a long time ago! You get me ice cream NOW!"

Whoa! Is she serious? 1. She can't be hungry 2. Even if she was she can't be THAT hungry 3. There are kids hungrier...especially when she just had lunch. 4. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT and last but not least 5. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER!!!!!

So of course that resulted in her getting NO ice cream and me breathing really really hard in my office counting to 10 about 500 times. After I calmed down I explained to her again that when mommy is on the phone with a client that she must wait patiently until I am done. She is also never to talk to me or anyone else for that matter in that tone! Not acceptable. So she said yes she understood.

This morning she had breakfast, all was dandy. I had to take care of a few emails and concentrate on something real quick and she wanted a 3rd piece of toast. ok fine. Just give me a minute. I come upstairs to find that she had flipped our dining room chair onto the floor! Is she serious?! She was gonna have a bar fight in my dining room? I was ready to kill her! 830am in my diningroom with a chair flipped on the floor. i told her i was going to take a picture of it and send it to her father and her 1st grade teacher and she flipped out and tried to put the chair back, of course she didn't make it in time.

What am I going to do? I know wine won't help me...but will vodka? I'm not sure...

Tell Me To My Face Lady!

Like the lioness, mother gorilla, mommy dinosaur and any mommy animal, I am very protective over my babies...just as you mommies out there reading my blog are as well I am sure. Some may be more so than I am. Those of you who know me know that I am all for independence and letting go, but when another mother has something to say about MY baby...well you better keep it to yourself or do like this chicken of a mother did and said it without my knowing until it was too late.

We were at Tar-jay yesterday getting the stuff we needed for back to school. I had my list that was sent for 1st graders in hand, the twins, and the cart pusher aka my husband. Not helpful as he was only a part time cart pusher as he "has a hot coffee in hand and can't push the cart." So there we were at the "Back to School" section and we had 2 of every requested item so we had:
tissues, clorox wipes, markers, crayons, colored pencils, #2 pencils, scissors, glue sticks, and the list goes on. Ok supplies done. Now we need a new backpack and lunchbox.

Now with the backpack and lunchbox I do want to get new ones every year because they do go through hell and god only knows what kind of crap is growing in them. The kids have learned that it would be nice if the backpacks matched the lunchboxes...they even took it further and had the file folder and binder match the lunch box and backpack too :)

So Tyler and Madison were looking through and there were some choices to be made there. Do we do Spongebob? Transformers? Princess? But last year was princess...oh but there's iCarly! Ok....breathe. Well there next to them were 2 little girls, one was right about the twins' age and was trying to help them decide...and pulling out different backpacks for them to look at. I thought "wow, Tar-jay can really get busted for these underaged workers!" But come to find out she too was a shopper! But why the interest in my kids? well she was cute and probably just nosy like Madison.

So Tyler finally decides on the Star Wars theme and we got his backpack, lunchbox, folder and binder. Madison, decides on iCarly. iCarly and her friend Sam is plastered all over the backpack and lunchbox, folder and binder. oy vay! The little girl comes over to me and informs me "I think she's picking everything iCarly..."
Me: "Yeah...I think she is" and I smile at her. "She loves iCarly. Do you?"
And she walks away.

Later on my cart pusher tells me that the little girl was telling her mother and her mother said "well iCarly is silly and that is why you are not allowed to watch that program." Well you know what ugly lady? if iCarly is silly then my kids and I must be out of our minds crazy. How dare she?! So now it all makes sense. The woman doesn't let her poor daughter be little girl which is why she was all in Madison's business. And if that woman had said that to my face I would have informed her that she should perhaps open her mind just a teensy bit and allow her daughter be a little girl and have some fun. Life is just too short and if she doesn't let her daughter have fun and be a kid she's going to grow up to be an uptight stuck up bitch like her!

I Don't Get It...

I wake up every morning and look at my babies. They are turning 7 this November. I can still remember bringing them home from the hospital. What an incredible ride it's been and it's still going on and on and on. I have to say there has not been one dull moment in our lives ever since the twins have been born although Madison may disagree, she still constantly sits there and complains about being bored. My wish is for a day of boredom!

So how does this child with just so much wisdom...I mean it has to be wisdom right? She has input on just about everything anyone says or does in this house. She "teaches" Tyler how to do things the "right way" and she advises him on how to do things and what he should do. Like yesterday, they were hanging out in their play area in the basement and I was working in my office not far from them. My radars are alway picking up what they are saying and although it doesn't appear that I am paying attention, which admittedly sometimes I'm not, but there are times that something will click into place...so yesterday I suddenly pick up signals.

Madison: "hey Tyler wouldn't it be a great idea if we have popcorn and sit here and watch our cartoon like a movie?"
Tyler: "oh yeah!"
Madison: "ok! you go ask mom!"
Tyler: "ok"

and I hear feet running up the stairs coming to my office. Tyler, Tyler...the poor little man just got tricked by the wicked...wicked smart little Madison.

"Madison, I heard that whole conversation and don't you ever trick Tyler into asking for snacks for you again!"
"No Mom! But Tyler does want it too!
"Madi, it was YOUR idea so YOU should ask me not Tyler!"

Needless to say they both went back down with no snacks. There are many other things she suggests for others that I just can't blog about...not until they are no longer with us so that I don't offend them. This little girl is just so on her toes. So now I ask the question...

WHY DOES SHE KEEP WETTING HER BED?!?! Good lord! I'm sick in bed with a 101 temp, fluid in my ears and her father snoring next to me. She wakes me up to say she needs to be changed because she has wet her bed. I go to her room and not only has she wet her bed, but she has converted her bed into a complete WATERBED! How big is her bladder?!?! CAN it be bigger than her head?!?! OMG! I just don't get it...

5 steps forward and 1 step back...

So we had a wet bed last night...oy!

She told me that she woke up and and "forgot I got my bedsheet back and thought I was still sleeping on the plastice", as if THAT was ok...to pee on the plastic. I explained to her that it wasn't so much the bedsheet, but that peeing in her bed was just not ok! That mommy and daddy don't do it and neither does Tyler! So she continues and demands that I just give her her pull up back. "Just give it back to me!" she says.

I ask, "and how long do you plan on wearing pull ups?"
She answers, "I don't know"
"Well none of your friends wear them, so how will you explain this to them?"
"I just wont' tell them, I'll lie and say I don't wear them."

Just like that. She will lie and say she won't wear them. Where did this girl come from?! How does she figure all this out??? and how much of it do I need to tolerate?! For the love of god already!

I had set my alarm for 1230AM like usual and she peed all over herself early! at 1130pm! she's early! she's not suppose to pee at 1130PM! what is she doing?! So when I was chatting with her about it this morning, she had the audacity to accuse me of not waking her up! I said Madison! I had my alarm set for the regular time! YOU were early! and why can't YOU wake YOURSELF up?!? MY mother doesn't come over to wake ME up to go to the bathroom! Are you serious?!? "Oh, well just give me my pull ups back!" I informed her that all that hard work has to start all over again. She got angry and informed me that I was wrong. She will challenge me the whole way. I know some of you may think that I should make the goal shorter so that she can easily attain it, but you have to know the history of this child. We have been down this path many times and unfortunately easily attainable goals will not help her. Thats what getting her bedsheet, her babies back were for...the big prize will require more work from her. She's a big girl now and I will not baby here and blame it on "trend."

I'm thinking...although it could backfire if she is stubborn enough, to say ok fine, you can have your pull ups back. However if you wear them to sleep you have to wear them to school too. Let's see how that sits with her....

And We Have Success!!!

Right when I thought there was no hope...we are on day #8 of having a dry bed!!!! After morning after morning of her waking up with a wet bed and losing the priviledge of sleeping with her "babies", her bed sheet, her comfy blanket, and the total loss of her body pillow she has finally found success.

I finally found a bit of a pattern...although I realize that our summer hours are way different from school hours so we shall see if this is for real when school starts...but this is what I did. She would go to bed at like 9 or 930PM and I would wake her at 1230AM to go potty. She would fight me to wake up and stomp down the hallway, bang on the wall to turn on the light and the whole way to the bathroom she would insist that she does not need to pee...then we get there she sits down and pees like a race horse...that's my girl!

So we started off with me waking her up at 1230 am and then again at around 330am and then we sleep until she wakes up. The last 2 nights I woke her up at 1230am and she went and she slept all the way through without wetting her bed. Last night I did try to wake her again at 330am but she was so exhausted she couldn't do it...just wouldn't budge, so I left her in bed. I'm so obssessed with this task that I myself have been having dreams and I think maybe even walking in my sleep and going into her room and making her go to the bathroom! I think now thta she's had so many dry nights she has her confidence built up and that helps. Her goal is 10 before she gets a toy. I'm going to let her reach 10 before we take the next step where I don't wake her and she has to do that on her own.

I know she's "only 6" and the "trend" now is that kids are older before they are completely trained, but I still think that's a load of crap. It's an excuse. I'm not saying I'm better, because look at me sitting her with Madison who is going on 7. For me a lot of it I think is because I such an easy time with Tyler and I got lazy. Well part of it is lazy and part of it is exhaustion. Having twins is definitely not easy and those without twins but with more than 1 kid doesn't have it easy either...so maybe not so much lazy as it is more like "running out of steam." When I was younger and in those years kids got out of diapers faster...but many moms didn't work. They had the time and energy to get everyone trained. Life was also much easier those days. So this business "trend" business I think is bogus, I think we need to call it what it is...we just haven't had the time or energy to get our kids trained. No shame to that.

So I think for us moms, cuz let's face it, unless you are a single dad, the moms are doing this, so for us moms WE need the motivation to get our kids potty trained. It's exhausting! and if we stop and "let it go tonight" we have screwed up all our efforts from the days or weeks prior. So all of you moms and dads out there trying to do this you have to stay consistent! Or you start all over...it's just like that house of cards...everything will just topple over! I know many moms are frustrated out there...just as I was...but you know if you are not ready to do it don't pressure yourself or your child. One thing that I think really helped Madison too is that she had gone through a year of kindergarten. I know I don't want her to be a victim of peer pressure, but this was necessary. So I had a talk with her and just casually informed her that all her bestest friends are all out of pull ups and I knew that in 1st grade that there will probably be sleepover parties and I wasn't sure what to do because SHE was still in pull ups and I didn't want her friends to know. That really struck home with her. She really tried hard and still is trying. So all you moms before you start this try and get some rest and prepare for a lot of erratic sleeping!!!

Let me know how you do!!!

My Poor Wet Little Girl...

I know she is trying. I also know she wants to. She just can't wake up dry. She also can't get herself to wake up when she needs to go. I set my alarm to get her up in the middle of the night and yet she STILL manages to wet herself. The other day she says to me "just give me my pull ups back!" My daughter is persistent. I know she is just waiting for me to give up and give her those pull ups back...but I just won't do it.

I now have her sleeping on just her mattress cover with only a baby blanket and a pillow. She has ruined her body pillow which I was so not happy about and I have taken away her "babies" that she sleeps with. She has been attached to those babies since birth! I thought for sure that those babies would be the ones that would do her in...nope! I also took dessert away from her. The first night I took it away her father decides to give it to her anyways. I told him that he better get up to clean up her mess in the middle of the night because I am exhausted! He agreed and said that taking her dessert away was not going to help. So here's how that night rolled out...

4am...Madi comes in..."Can I change?" Kevin, "Madi! Are you serious? Again?! you said you would get up and go to the toilet!" gets up and gets her new clothes. Now I'm awake and listening to all this. He comes back. I ask, "Did you clean off her bed?", "yes", "really? did you just dry it off with a towel or did you clean it with a wet one?" He gets up with a grunt and goes to the bathroom and gets a wet towel to clean her mattress cover and dries it off again. Then he gets back into bed and I'm lying there wide awake and he seriously starts snoring! I watch the sun come up again!!!

I just don't know what to do! I tell her that I love her. I want to help her. She is going to the first grade and soon her friends will want to do sleepovers and what will she do then? She can't go in her pull ups! She's tough. She puts up a front like she doesn't care but i know that deep down she does. She cares a lot.

Most kids don't like to feel dirty...especially when they get to this age when they know what it is and how gross it really is! She can't stand dirtiness...that's what I don't get. Knowing that something dirty is near her grosses her out...yet she is ok sleeping in her peed on bed. In my delirium when she has come in to tell me she is wet I have told her to go back to sleep and she has! In her wet clothes and bed!

I refuse to buy an alarm to hook up to her underwear. I don't know how old she will be when she is finally trained overnight...but my suspicions are that when she is finally trained it might be time for me to get into some Depends!

The Search for a Dry Pull Up Continues...

I am on a mission to get Madison off the overnight pull ups once and for all. Last night she went to bed at 930PM. She went to pee at 9PM and then before we went to be at about 11PM we took her again. She actually DID pee! So I thought ok, her bladder is empty. We had stopped liquids early that evening, but being summer we have to be careful with that since it IS hot outside I don't want her dehydrated either.

I had taken away her big comfy comforter and did not let her have a pull up. She had started to cry. I wasn't sure why she was crying. Perhaps the fear of knowing that she will wet her bed. So I told her that we both know that SHE knows when she is peeing in her sleep and she just needs to get up and go. I had also given her her little lady bug emergency flashlight, so that she can use that to come get me to go with her to the bathroom if she is afraid of the dark. Not to mention the extra night light I put in the short hallway to the bathroom.

At 430AM, she came into my room to get me, she had wet herself. So I got up she got changed, I took off her bedsheet and now she gets to sleep on her plastic matress cover. She will not get another bedsheet until she has a dry night. She slept until 9am today...she's NEVER slept so late in her life! I guess getting up in the middle of the night takes a lot of her. So she asked me while she was washing up and brushing her teeth if she gets her pull ups back tonight. I told her no and she was not at all happy. I told her that she is going to the 1st grade and that no one wears pull ups in the 1st grade! She has to learn to wake up and go to the bathroom. So she said nothing and accepted this.

Sleeping on a plastic covering just can't be comfortable! I know that personally I would hate to sleep with a pull up on, or to sleep on a piece of plastic! How can she be ok with it? I can't even stand having my period and having to sport a maxi pad...I just don't get it. I've tried the reward system, bribery, you name it and I've tried it. Now it's just plain it JUST DO IT! I'm adopting the Nike logo. I feel like I'm doing the midnight feedings again with the waking up in the middle of the night, but we need to get out of these pull ups! So come hell or high water...or perhaps my death...she will get out of these pull ups before school starts!!!!

Whatever happened to simple?

I guess I've always known this, but it really has hit me that our world is just crazy...really crazy. Whatever happened to simple living? Our children can't even enjoy simple lives of just going out and playing outside without the need of having all this different equipment and that is because we have built them to be this way. We want them to be exposed to all these activities, baseball, soccer, basketball, etc and so now we go outside and just playing on the playground is "boring."

How about their diets? With the organic craze and kids who will "only eat organic." Chicken just isn't chicken anymore, it needs to be the organic, non-antibiotic chicken...what?! What in the hell IS that? and why would kids even know the difference?! HOW would kids taste the difference?! I'm gonna have to say the kid with that kind of palate should probably go work for Gordon Ramsay!

Then we have their schooling. I mean honestly. The pressures some of these parents put on their kids is ridiculous. I mean this is only what I am seeing in the kindergarten level! ok so if they are not reading Harry Potter yet by the time they get to 1st grade...it's OK! I'm praying that my kids can still remember how to spell their names and read ANYTHING when school starts again in the fall! Kids are thrown into all these enrichment courses after school to help them move ahead with their academics...whatever happened to a simple childlife?

Let's move onto potty training. I am still battling the overnight training with Madison. She is now 6 going on 7 in November. I am just on the edge of jumping. She tells me this morning that she actually does know when she is peeing in the middle of the night but she is just too tired to get up. So I go and finally google the alarms I've heard about. Honestly! Really?! Alarms?! Now we have to buy alarms to clip onto her underwear to wake her up to go to the bathroom? why?! our parents didn't have to do that with us! Why is it so normal now that there is a market for this alarm?!? it just puzzles me...I just don't get it. I can not allow myself to go there. So my next tactic. Complete uncomfortableness. Tonight she will sleep in her underwear and pajamas. I will take her bedsheet off and she will sleep on the plastic bed cover that is on her mattress. That's it! That piece of plastic is so not nice!!! Also, since she is so tired to wake up in the middle of the night when she needs to pee I will put her into bed when it is still light outside. If this doesn't work I may need to move her onto the bathroom floor...

Is it Like Fungus?!

As I was getting dressed this morning Madison was with me. We are at the point now where of course I don't let Tyler watch me getting dressed but if Madison is in the room I don't make a big deal. I do turn around so she's not looking at me butt naked, but exercise a bit of modesty. She's really curious about bras though and has been asking me a lot of questions. She sees them hanging everywhere! When we even walk into Target they are hanging in the kids section and she's asking asking about them. Being naked and your body should not be taboo and I've never been a believer of making up crazy names for body parts.

So she asked me why I wear bras. I said when you get older I will explain it to you. She then asks will I wear one too? and I said yes, when you get older. Then she asked, how come some are so big? "Well Madi, people are all different sizes and shapes. So some breasts are larger and so they need a larger bra. People grow when they get older." and she then responds "really?!? you mean I will grow too?! do you mean they grow like fungus?!"

That took me by surprise. It was so funny. So innocent. and so true! they can be like fungus! They can get annoying! and sometimes itchy...

What a journey I am about to go on...

Just this past weekend Tyler went to a pool party and afterwards all the boys went into the locker room to change. Most of the little boys just dropped trousers and stood their with their jewels just out for all to see. Everyone started to point and giggle. Tyler was more modest and asked me to help him hide himself so that he could change and I had to explain that while it's ok to be modest that it's ok. As he grows up there will be times like this especially since he is into sports that he will be in a lockerroom and everyone will be changing! It was really cute and funny to watch all this happen.

Way To Fit In Lady!!!!

Little kids can be strange and do strange things, but that's ok, they are kids and that's their job. Now I realize that some of these little kids do strange things because their parents are strange! We are near the end of kindergarten and I decided to orgnanize a scrapbook project with pages created by the children to give to their teacher as an end of the year gift. I thought it would be personal and thoughtful and that the teacher would appreciate it to see what she had taught these kids.


So being the control freak that I am, I went and bought the scrapbook album, some stickers and the paper to be used for the project. I sent out emails to all the parents and described the project and asked for whatever small donation to help pay for the book, refreshments for the kindergarten party, and perhaps a small gift card for the teach. In the email I advised that I will be looking for them when we drop off at school and picking up from school to give them the pages instead of putting them into their child's backpacks to avoid wrinkling or the teacher finding out the surprise. I had it all set up, each child had a page, a folder to put it in and the directions typed out again...along with a deadline for all these pages to get back to me.


Before the deadline I got almost everything back but I know everyone's busy and may have forgotten so I sent out reminder emails. I got more back except for 2. These last 2 I sent another email and even called them at home. No response. I just felt so awful because every child had a page where they had written something to the teacher with pictures of them or pictures they drew, and I really didn't want anyone left out!

So I see her at pick up afterschool the Monday before the celebration and I approached her. The woman RAN! She just ran. Pushed her daughter into the car and peeled right out of her parking space and took off. While she was running I ran along side trying to talk to her and she wouldn't look me in the eye. She said we are not participating. As if I was trying to do harm to the teacher and they wanted no part. The whole scene was ridiculous, I was like the paparazzi chasing down Lindsay Lohan! Puhlease Lady! Good way to be a role model to your girls. What she doesn't realize is that she has now exposed herself to be completely odd and we have 5 more years in elementary school together and I LOVE to be near odd ducks and find out what makes them tick! Watch out! I just might be chasing you again :)

"Tween" Years Starts At 6?!

As we approach the end of our kindergarten year I feel a bit of sadness. My babies are moving onto the 1st grade and are not babies any longer, they now have some "seniority" under their belts...and there is also this big lump of fear that resides right in my heart. I try and give my kids space to feel their way around and learn and meet different kids and experience different things. I want them to without being too obvious to be friends and play with different kids rather than the same ones over and over again and being apart of a clique. Our school is notorious for being like that...as I'm sure many are, but we are so very very good at it...especially the parents. I should know, I'm a product of this same exact school system.

So I try and schedule playdates with kids that Tyler would not be playing Tball with or soccer with and I do try and request that he is not in the same class with kids that he is on the same sports team with...especially if I know they get too carried away together. I know some may argue that I am preventing a close relationship, but I disagree. Being on a sports team together creates a really strong bond that does not need being in the same classes to nurture.

I hear these young boys ALREADY at the age of 6 talking about girls. Telling each other so and so is "hot." How do they know what hot means? and they FLIRT! I see the little girls looking at these boys and the boys doing the same! Granted not every little kindergartener is maturing at that rate, but there are a good handful that are and once the others start drinking that "Kool-aid" forget it! I chat with some of the other moms in Tyler's class and they tell me that their daughters go home telling them that they are going to marry so and so...and we think how cute is that?! and it's funny! Well some of us think it is...I do. Some of us think it's not so funny...oh well. But there are moments when I do see that age 6 innocence of a little boy shine through.

Today for example was a good example. "Beyblades" are the hottest toys on the market. They are glorified tops that comes with a rip cord and a release mechanism that the top is attached to. Of course there are a dozen different kinds and the kids collect them all. Toys are not allowed in the classroom, but all the kids bring them to school and play before school or after school. Tyler brings them and promises to put them in his backpack. Today, I kissed him good bye at the front door like always and he went on his way, what he didn't know was that I waited and went down to his classroom to talk to his teacher and when I did....BUSTED! He had his Beyblades out showing a friend. Although I was angry at him for disobeying, I was relieved secretly that it's not all about girls.

As I was walking down the hall to leave the school I hear a whole bunch of giggling and I look in to see in the girl's bathroom, Madison and her little girlfriends in front of the mirror playing with their hair and giggling and chit chatting about something. She has recently changed so much! She has taken this huge interest in wearing skirts and dresses and putting ribbons in her hair and wearing headbands. She wants pocketbooks and lipgloss and just everything girly. oy vay! It's very cute and what all her friends are doing and I will let her, but to a certain extent, I still make her dress appropriately for PE class on the days she has PE where as her friends are still decked out in dresses. On the flipside, they may be rubbing off some good on her as well, her reading skills has improved 110% and it's amazing!

The S bomb has also been dropped. SEX. Tyler had said something about sex and Madi started to giggle and then just flat out started to belly laugh. When he did this the first time, Kevin was playing xbox and he almost dropped the controller and I almost dropped my iphone. I did manage to keep my cool and asked him what he thought that meant. He said kissing on the lips. I did leave it at that...I just did not and could not deal with correcting him nor did I think he needed to be corrected at this point in his life. He definitely was not going to be performing this anytime soon!

So all you preschool parents out there...prepare for kindergarten! it's like Space Mountain!!!

Mommy PhD

As a new mother you don't know what to expect and so you hang by every word of the pediatrician. After the first year you get the hang of it and you have the training wheels off and you can sense things now. By the 2nd and 3rd years you are a "resident" and by 4th year and beyond, you are the real mccoy. Also, you have the Mommy gut feeling which some pediatricians don't have because they don't have children! Now some don't believe in that, but I do...totally! It's a 7th sense.

I love how medicine changes. I always thought having a 102 fever is a fever and that warrants Tylenol or SOMETHING, but nope these days it's really a fever until it's 104 or higher! Really?! I need to wait until my child is on the edge of brain damage before I give them something? So I really don't believe in that. If my kids have a fever, even if it's 101, I'll give them Tylenol. As a working mom, I don't have time to wait for them to work itself out.

Then this whole thing with ear infections. Now the doctors don't like to treat them right away. Are they serious?!? "Come back in a few days if they don't feel better and then we'll give you antibiotics" Again, who has time for this?! Good lord, and why make the child suffer through the pain when they don't have to?!?! I just don't get it.

So this past weekend we did a family field trip to BJs and as we were checking out the kids were horsing around against my advice. I looked over and Madison had run straight into a cement pole and was crying. Great. She had a scratch on her head, but no bumps and no blood. So I didn't make anything of it. On the drive home, she fell asleep in the car, typical, so again, didn't think anything of it. When we got home I made them lunch, she didn't want to eat, said her head hurt and wanted to go back to sleep. THEN I had this bad feeling that I just might be taking a trip to the ER. So without putting ideas in her head I asked her why she wanted to nap and if she was hungry, she said she was tired and was being a little whiny. Again, sort of typical of her to be whiny and milking her injury. In the middle of her sleep she turned over and said that she felt like throwing up but she wasn't going to. That's when I knew I better make a call to her PCP, so I did. The oncall nurse called me back and I described the events to her. She advised me to wake her up and take her to the ER. When we woke her up she in fact did throw up and so I took her in. When the ER pediatrician came to see her Madison was having a fit because she did not want to put on the little "johnny" and was backed into a corner crying. The dr asked "is this behavior a result from the injury?" and I had to laugh and answer "NO, she's normally this difficult." So we did compromise with her and did not make her change. I did learn at that point that with head injuries "the first one is free." I was informed that normally with these types of injuries, 4-5 hours after the accident if symptoms of headaches and vomiting does not increase to 2 or 3 times it is ok!

I can appreciate new science and medicine however there are some old school ways that I still buy into. Unless it is to improve and it has worked in the past, why change it? So I think I will use MY mommy PhD and do what works for my kids in treating fevers and injuries and insist on antibiotics for things such as ear infections when we know as a mom that there IS one there and it's NOT going away magically. And then if we come across things that are more involved than what my mommy PhD covers I'll listen to our pediatrician whole heartedly!

Rough housing...

I was in a conversation the other day with a couple of parents from other Tball teams and their kids also play soccer. Not all parents play sports, I get it, these kids are kindergartners, I get it, the kids are out there to have fun and not out for blood and I agree and I get it. However, I think these kids should be allowed to play rough, if it is allowed in the sport. Obviously, I'm not saying the kids should be fist fighting and conducting themselves in poor sportsmanship-like ways, but there is nothing wrong with being aggressive, we're playing a sport, not having tea. So the conversation went like this..."don't you think Mario was a little rough at soccer yesterday? He was like hip checking people!" I thought to myself and really didn't remember anyone in my mind playing particularly rough and responded "not really." "Yeah! I saw Mario hip checking other kids and I just thought that was not nice and it's kindergarten soccer he should not be that aggressive." At that moment her son came walking toward us crying. He had banged heads with Madison who continued playing...go figure. I yelled out "No crying in baseball, go play!" and we continue our conversation,"Well, it's soccer, are you suppose to ask for the ball?!" "No, but this kid is aggressive in the classroom too and I just feel like his parents are not responding to his aggressiveness." And as this conversation continued my kids started to argue and shove each other on the field...typical Madison and Tyler fashion. Doesn't even phase me at this point. Perhaps I'm wrong. I don't know. But these boys are playing sports and they rough house. Tyler sees his friends they automatically wrestle or tag or something physical and there's no crying involved. I mean these are BOYS, let's raise them to be men, NOT little girls! If you don't want your son to be picked on and made fun of when he gets older then do him a favor and toughen him up. And so I said something to this effect. I told her that kids these days are babied...to the extreme and when they get older and are put in situation with tougher kids they can't handle it and then they do get picked on and anti-bully rules or not it's gonna happen! I'm not saying raise your son to be a bully, but he should be able to hold his own...he definitely should not go crying to his mommy everytime something touches him. Survival of the fittest! LOL! This helps to build character. Let's toughen our kids up, teach them some independence, it's ok to rough house, it's ok to hip check, it's ok to steal the ball when playing basketball...it's in the rules!!!

Fighting words...

"MONA! blah blah blah blah......" That's all I could hear the Brian screaming at me. What was he saying? I just couldn't make it out. Why couldn't he just wait until he came over to me to tell me? What was so important that it couldn't wait?!? "WHAT?!?! I can't hear you!" He finally runs over. "I have to to ask you something." "ok" "um. Tyler said. um. Tyler said. um" Oh gawd, we'll be her forever. Spit it out kid. "Tyler said that his dad, your husband, is going to beat me with a stick if I go into your house." "No. That's not true." "yes it is! you weren't there! he said that!" "well yes, he may have said that, but Tyler's dad, my husband wouldn't beat you with a stick." And life goes on. So a few thoughts ran through my head. First. Funny. Thanks for clarifying for me that Tyler's dad is in fact my husband. Second, the fact that Tyler said this if he did say this. and third, the visualization of this happening. I know, some overly sensitive parent will read this third part and think I'm an asshole, but I really think in order to be a good parent we really need to loosen up and stop being so uptight, you'll sleep better, and your kids won't be jerks. I'm also thinking, when Brian approached me his mom was with him and it was apparent that this "conversation" the boys had was talked about at home and what was said is obviously so ridiculous that I feel it's ridiculous that she had him approach me with me. And by doing so he was being told to tattle on Tyler for saying something like that. True that Tyler should not have said that, but perhaps his mother should have given me a heads up that Tyler said this to her son and not had her son tell me...but whatever. Tyler comes home that day and I did ask him why that was said and he told me. He said that Brian was nagging him about coming over for a playdate and Tyler just didn't want to. He doesn't mind playing basketball or catch with him outside but just doesn't want him all over Tyler's stuff. However Brian insisted and was annoying Tyler and said Tyler had to allow him over so Tyler said well fine, but if you do my dad will beat you with a stick. I did tell Tyler that he should just ignore him next time and that if doesn't want to have a playdate I won't force him to, but to not say that again.

Me? A Polygamist?!

Some women wear there engagement ring and their wedding band everyday, I on the otherhand only wear it if we are going out. I just don't feel like I need to be wearing it when my day involves playing with the kids, cleaning up crap, cooking, going to school, getting the kids in and out of the car, prying things open with my fingers and sometimes fingernails if not my teeth! Now that tball season is starting and I will be coaching Tyler's team again I definitely won't be sporting the diamonds around town and the days of manicured nails, well those were gone the day they were born! I really much rather use my "spare time" to take a nap...and quite frankly in the 6 years I haven't had that free time yet... So this past weekend we were going out shopping and then dinner and so I put on my watch and rings. I was actually going to be a grown up. The kids now understanding more and more and completely wrapped up with the institution of marriage noticed right away that I had my wedding rings on again. Madison growing progressively more girly wanted to see them and so I let her try them on, that's when she realizes that they are two rings put together. GASP! "OMG Mommy! You are married to TWO people?!?!" At first I had no clue what she was talking about and then I realized why she thought that. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Who Mommy?! Who are you married to?!? Oh! I know! Are you married to LL?!?!" I could not stop laughing. My baby girl remembers that I say LL Cool J is my "boyfriend" and now she thinks I'm married to him AND her father. So she starts to ask why he doesn't live with us and if he's on vacation so I just told her yes. I know it's wrong and she'll start telling people in school that her mother is married to two people and one of them is LL. but whoever believes that has to be an idiot. Maybe now I can start my own version of "Brother Husbands" and make tons of money and live on a compound. I can just go hang out and be with flavor of the day and if one makes me angry I go on to the next. Although let's be real, 1 husband is enough to make me jump why would I want more than 1?!?

"Mommy! I'm Sexy!"

Now please remember that most everything discussed in this blog have been pinky sworn to secrecy between my children and I, but I figured by the time they find out about this blog I'm so old and decrepit that they can't hurt me any further or they are in college and need me financially that they can't hurt me yet which will give me time to run.

I am finding out from many moms that their kids don't tell them any of these things that are happening in school so I have been a source of their information and it's so funny how my kids do tell me these things, perhaps they sense my immaturity level...good or bad I'm not sure, but right now it keeps me in the know of what's up in their lives and to feed into this blog. The best is shower time. That's when I get all my news. It's like my TMZ time with my kids.

Madison for example, doesn't really say much in class. She will only talk if you force her or when you're not looking, but don't be fooled, this girl is watching. She's my observer. She's a spy. And she knows about everybody else's business. She knows what everybody is taking after school for after school programs, who is having a playdate with whom and who kissed "Brad". We also know who gets all the time outs in the class and who got spoken to for kissing "Brad". This is great kindergarten dirt.

Now Tyler has been getting increasingly active with his kindergarten class. He's on the opposite end of the spectrum. He's one of the "active" children. The other night he reported that there were 4 boys, including him that were asked by the girls to get in line so that their muscles could be felt and compared. He reported who got to felt who and one of the boys had "flat muscles". So I asked "how about you Tyler? what did your girl think of your muscles?" "Feel them mom!" and he flexes his little arm and lets me feels his muscles. Of course I made a huge deal, how cute could this be?! and he said his girl asked, "OMG Tyler! how did you do that?" "well, I do some kung fu, I exercise, and I eat my vegetables." I only found this to be the funniest thing I've ever heard as I could picture this whole scene happening in the classroom. Last night he reported that 2 of the girls went up to him and his other friend and reported that they are the sexiest boys in the class. Kindergarten! Is there a People's cover for Sexiest Kindergartner?!

Gotcha!

Why is it that every morning Madison gets a tummyache when drinking her milk? Is she lactaid intolerant? That wouldn't be surprising since I am as well. And not that it's an excuse, but mornings in my house is like a windstorm. I get them cleaned up and dressed and manage to come downstairs and I get some food on the table. The kids start to eat. I have to make sure Tyler takes all his asthma medication so that the kid can continue to breathe...that's kind of important right?! Then I start packing the snacks. On Thursdays and Fridays I have to pack an extra lunch as well as these are their long days. Then half way through I realize oh crap I forgot to slap on a little something on my face so that I don't scare ALL the kids on the way to school so I run up and at least throw on some foundation and powder and a little eyeliner so I look even and not like a monster that just crawled out from under the bed. Back downstairs to finish packing the snacks and lunches. During the winter I like to give the kids a hot lunch so I don't warm it up until it's closer to the time we leave which makes the scramble even harder. Now somewhere in this rushing I admit I'm not paying a lot of attention to the kids, so they could bury their cereal in a plant, and this is why I don't have any live plants in the house, but they could hide their cereal somewhere...but this is when Madi will start her "mommy, I have a tummy hurt!" and I don't have time to argue with her and in the back of my mind I'm thinking lactaid intolerance? and I try to argue with her to finish her milk she needs it blah blah blah, her nails will fall out, her hair will fall out, stuff will start rotting, you name it I've done and said it. I've even kept it and would make her drink it when she came home after school and made her miserable and she still puts up a show in the morning. Finally this morning I earned my Ph.D!!! "Mommy...my tummy hurt!" "Oh no Madi, I was afraid of that happening again." "Why mommy?" "because I think you might have a worm in your tummy. Your tummy hurts every morning and that means that you must have a worm" and you hear silence. "Oh...well it doesn't hurt anymore" "No Madi, I'm really scared, I need to take you to the hospital. Let's drop Tyler at school and I'm taking you right away. I don't want the worm to get too big. Bring your babies incase you have to stay overnight. Sometimes if the worm is too big they have to operate to get it out. oh my poor baby! I'm so scared for you!" "No mom, I'm just kidding, it doesnt' hurt! Tyler's tummy hurt!" and you hear Tyler yelling "NO it doesn't!!!! I finished my milk!!!" And today on April Fools Day I have earned my Ph.D in Madison Psychology.

Privacy Please?!

I think my husband and I will have to become penpals if we want to be able to communicate without the kids knowing what we are talking about...but everything is done electronically and knowing my kids they'll probably learn how to hack into our emails and read our emails we'll lose that option too! Are we going to have to learn another language? I expressed this concern to him the other night and Madison came out of nowhere and said "you can learn sign language!" Thank you Madison, and I would do it too if I was confident that you wouldn't pick up on it and find out what we were saying! The other night I was feeling like I needed some chips, I was PMS-ing horribly and just needed the snack as we watched a show on the DVR after the kids are in bed. So I said to my husband, "let's have some ip-chay after they are in bed", he replies "what? what's that? i don't know what you are saying!" Madi chimes in "say it again, I know! What is it mommy? say it!" and I explain " i can't spell it because it's an easy enough word that the kids will sound it out and they will know and will never go to sleep and if i say it the same result, so just forget it! ugh!" Brainiac then replies "oh i know does the brand end in ys?" (as in Lays) and I reply yes, but too late, Madi goes "oh! chips!" Nothing goes by this one! The kids have been learning how to sound out letters and form words, my husband is not fast enough for me to spell words quickly for him to know what I am saying without the kids hearing so I have to spell it slowly, but by then the kids have already figured it out and then THEY tell HIM what I wanted to tell him. So I'm giving up...maybe it wasn't meant to be for me to talk to my husband anymore! LOL! and I'm not deliberately trying to keep secrets from him, I just can't tell him without the peanut gallery listening. Now you may ask why don't I tell him AFTER the kids are in bed? It's easy. If you have kids, and most of you reading this blog do will know that after you have children there is no such thing as a "memory" so by the time you are able to tell him, you would have forgotten you even had a secret to tell him, nevermind what the hell that secret even was! I was having a phone conversation with a friend the other day and our kids are in the same class. My kids weren't home, but hers were. So she had to talk in code. Have you ever played charades over the phone? It is hard! It's like a cross between Charades and Taboo, because you can't use certain words or names otherwise your child or children will now what or god forbid WHO you are talking about and then forget it, it's broadcasted all over school. It's true when they say don't worry about your kids not talking yet...because when they do you just can't get them to stop!

Play Ball!

As we approach Spring so does baseball season, soccer season, and any kind of sport season that can suck money out of your wallet and time from your day...well the time is well worth it as long as your kids have fun doing it. You'll only have this opportunity once when the sport is still fun and it's not competitive. Tyler is still only 6 and kindergarten so it's Tball. We did it last year too and forced Madison to do it as well so that she had a taste of it, but she hated it and wouldn't participate...although she has a pretty good swing and can hit the ball pretty well and can throw and catch...but I'm not going to force her so it will just be Tyler this year. I'm not sure what it's like in other towns, but you see some of these kids show up all geared up but just not knowing what to do with themselves! The pressures they get from their father's to play well and you have wonder, "dude! what do you expect from your kid? we're hitting off of t's!" Granted, yes, there are some kids who are well...just not made for sports and are painful to watch even with a T. And you can almost feel his father's pain...but it's OK! there ARE worse things in life! The funny thing is I'm pretty sure many of these fathers are living vicariously through their sons' lives, and are trying to prove their manlihood through their son...but you know what they say! "Size doesn't matter!" so maybe we should leave it alone. He could be a doctor like you? a proctologist pays well right? The crazy lives that these kids lead with all the sports are insane...and these are kindergartners. Soccer, basketball, baseball, afterschool activities, and we get the kids involved "not for the sport but for the social aspect". I also think that team building and learning to be a team member is important and for the kids to feel like they are a part of something special is so great for them. But I've heard dad's pull their kids aside giving them "peptalks" and putting all this pressure on their kids, it's so sad. Kids were telling me "my dad said I have to hit it this way," or "I have to throw it like this." Believe it or not I overheard a conversation amongst these kindergartners about which sport they should play because it pays more! These dads need to realize that they are already grown, their penises are not growing anymore...no matter how well their kids do in sports, so drop it. Let them have fun and just play and develop for now.

Can't we just be happy?

Poor Madison. 6 years old and already a teenager. Just confirmed by her kindergarten teacher. I had my parent teacher conference yesterday. Academically she's moving along, I mean yes she hits bumps here and there and mixes up sounds here and there, but hey she's chinese and comes from a family that speaks a little of both and so I give her that. She's quiet at school...but when she comes home and the behavior I describe of her at home...she's a teenager.

I know they start early these days...but at 6?!?! If preteens or tweeny years now start at 10 and mine is now 6 I'm suppose add on 4 years to that?!?! I can't! This morning she decides she wants to wear her new outfit we bought last weekend. Very cute poofie skirt with black leggings and a t shirt with a rocker girl's face on it with a little glitter layered with a black shirt. Loved it. Well then the complaints rolled in...the t shirt is too long and covered the skirt and if you pulled up the t shirt the girl's face isn't straight...OMG!

I am so struggling to find that common ground with my daughter. My husband and I are both sports people and so is Tyler and thought she would be too since we started them young. But she told us at a young age that nope, she didn't like it, she did try it, but did not like it. We are doing Daisy Scouts where they do arts and crafts and yoga and sing songs and nope, she doesn't like that! she just wants to stay home. But even at home she claims to be bored and isn't happy. Please buy me a vowel, throw me a bone...anything!

How can a child in today's world with so many opportunities offered to her have so much to complain about and be upset about? I'm not shoveling her off and not being with her. I just want her to experience and learn about things out there and to expand her skills. She can be a great artist! She has great drawing skills! She loves to draw...at home. I would have LOVED to have had these opportunities when I was her age, but could not because my parents were always at work and I was at my aunt's house who took care of us while my parents worked.

When is it "too much"?

I don't want my kids to grow up being walked all over and picked on especially when I know they have that "oomph" in them, but I've always taught them to be forgiving and to try and walk away if other kids are just not being nice instead of trying to right the wrong. Especially Tyler, little boys right now are at the age where they are wrestling and fighting and punching, Tyler is pretty strong and can really hurt someone and I really don't want him hurting another child. But then again if that other child is punching Tyler and Tyler walks and the kid follows then I ask why don't you tell the teacher and he's concerned that the other kid will actually get in trouble...well geez Tyler! who cares if he gets in trouble?!? I love that he has such a big heart but sometimes it takes all that I have to keep from going in and just shoving that kid to the floor and sticking my tongue out at him....THERE! THAT'S for messing with MY kid! Blah! It is so hard for ME personally to try and contain myself and to be forgiving so that to be the role model for my children...but it IS soooo hard.

Then there is my tough girl Madison. She's tough at heart, but at school she's a little timid and if someone is mean to her or approaches her she will keep her mouth shut and won't defend herself. Why not baby girl? Mommy can't be with you all the time! and when that mean girl Camille comes around and tells you that you are trash you should tell her to look in the mirror! Ask her what her problem is. Ask her why she's so mean?! and then tell her your momma knows where you live! But of course that last thought was in the bubble in my head. So Madison keeps all this inside and brings it home to me and tells me she just doesnt know what to do. I tell her that she should tell the teacher and if she does get in trouble then that is not your fault because you didn't tell her to be mean, she did it herself. That's after I'd like her to sweep her feet and make her fall on her scrawny little ass! oops, mean mommy thoughts coming through!

Kids can be so mean. I realize my angels are not without horns. The kids were out on the driveway playing yesterday and some of the neighborhood kids came over to play as well and Madison goes "ugh, let's go inside Tyler, I don't want to see Christopher's face anymore." That's pretty mean. You can bet on it though when we came in she got spoken to right away and was warned that she will be in trouble if she spoke like that again. Ok, so that was mean. Now this morning, on the way to school, Madison and Tyler were bickering and one of the kids said to them "stop fighting or I will seriously hurt you both" and gave them this look, "do you want me to seriously hurt you?" and my kids looked at him like he had four heads. Obviously this was a mimic of what is said at home. When is it too much? When do we take what these little kids are saying seriously? When is it over the line?

A Little Too Much Like Momma...

It's true that by nature I like to take control of things. If something needs to be done lets not putz around and get the task at hand completed and if it appears that you are not going in the "right" direction or any direction then I will make sure you get there...with a smile of course. This is something I've learned to master over many many years...37 to be exact!

Madison has inherited that trait it appears. We saw signs of it since they were little, even with the lack of speech she would direct her brother to do things and he would comply! Let's just face it she came out of me screaming and the doctors came running and while she was in the NICU she would be screaming in her incubater and the nurses would go screaming so yes, my daughter is a "director".

So yesterday was Tyler's big day. We had his tooth extracted and the tooth fairy was finally going to visit our house that night. Problem: Madison did not have a tooth to put under her pillow so she will not be getting anything. Somehow, my daughter had convinced her brother to ask the tooth fairy for more money so that he can give some to her as well so that they can both go to the mall the next day to get something. Tyler having the biggest heart agreed as he wanted to share the exciting moment with his twin sister.

They both ran off to draft a letter to the tooth fairy. Tyler also wanted to keep the tooth and not have the tooth fairy take it away so that was his only stipulation. This is what the letter looked like:
Tofe fare: kan you gi me 2 dola and i keep my tofe tyler

When he woke up in the morning he found a dollar and the tooth still there, he was upset he did not get two, but I explained that it was just one tooth and the tooth fairy was on a budget. So he understood. When Madison woke up and realized what had happened she whipped into contingency plan right away. She all of a sudden was the nice older sister by a minute and said "Tyler, we should make sure we save your dollar. Let me put it in your piggy bank for you." My daughter did this to ensure that Tyler did NOT have any money to spend when we went to the mall later today, and by putting it in the piggy bank would accomplish just that!

My little girl is a smart cookie. I'm thinking she should grow up to be a corporate raider....

Honesty...what a breath of fresh air!

I have been volunteering at the elementary school a bit and helping out with the library during Madison and/or Tyler's class and helping out with Madison's Daisy Scout Troop. I can't explain just how much fun and how refreshing it can be to be around a group of innocent kids. The things they do and say just because! They will ask you something because they want to know, they will tell you something because they feel YOU need to know, and they will do something just because they want to do it.

There really isn't anything wrong with that. It's us adults who make it wrong and that's why WE have conflict. I sit there and observe and I find myself jealous! How many times have I wanted to tell someone " you smell funny!", or "I just don't like you", or "that picture is just not so good...you are not a good artist." Just be honest damn it!

So today we're walking to school and Tyler, Madi and their friend are running up ahead and all of a sudden Madi comes running back to me telling me that she hates their friend. Well friend's dad is standing right there, did I want to die? YES! Was Madi overreacting? Maybe...but maybe not, because our friend has a history of not being the best of friend and he and Madi has been butting heads for a while now. Although this time she was REALLY upset. She never cries in front of people and she was flat out bawling and screaming out she hated him. I really didn't know what to do because now both my kids have had gripes about friend before at one point or another, but what do I do?!

I have to say though, I'm thrilled that Madi was able to express this. My darling baby girl is speech delayed and the LAST thing I want is for her to bottle up all her feelings. I WANT her to express herself. So say it Madison! Be honest! If something or someone is bothering you just say it! Tell it like it is...we'll just tweak the wording later on in life. You're a girl growing to be a woman, hear you roar!

Tyler's Teeth...

So the talk of kindergarten has been Tyler's teeth, Tyler has to get the tooth out, Tyler has to go to the dentist, why? because he has cavities, where? in there! where? there! it's a riot how all these kids just dwell on things and it's not just Tyler's class, but in Madison's class too, because Madison had to share her brother's business with everyone in her class.

Madison got into the car afterschool yesterday and says "oh mom, we don't have to pull Tyler's tooth out. Holly says that the new one will just push the old one out, so we don't have to pull it." (Holly is a classmate of Madison's) "Oh really? that's great news! Is Holly a dentist?" "NO! She's in my class! But that's what she said!" hmmm...ok well then it must be true?!

Today was the 1st of the 3 appointments to fill in Tyler's cavities. Of course Madison had to know what the agenda was for the day, "ok, so we walk to school, you will drop me off and then you and Tyler will walk home, get the car, go to the dentist and then drop Tyler at school and then you go to work, right mom?" "Yes Madi." "OK." Tyler's nerves were getting the best of him and was getting antsy and was getting upset and was making up excuses about not going, he was even saying he was going to miss dancing in PE class today and didn't want to miss that! After he threw a tantrum about not doing sports in PE yesterday! So I said that we could stop by his classroom and find out what time PE is at and see if we could rush back, well, now we had to go over the agenda again! Good lord! So I change the subject, "Madison, tomorrow is Math Day, remember I can spend 15 mins in your class and 15 mins in Tyler's class, so which class will I go to first?", "Mom, let's talk about this tomorrow." Well! She told me! and that subject was closed.

As promised we got to school and we walked into Tyler's classroom to ask his teacher for their day's schedule, and as I was discussing it with her, Tyler's friend Austin walks up to Tyler and says "open your mouth." Tyler opens his mouth and his friend Austin gives him directions to move in different directions as he's looking around inside...these kids all think they're dentists! It's the funniest thing to watch and listen. What's funnier is that the "patient" obliges! When I ask him to open and let me see he doesn't...why?!

Thank you Madison...

Today was a big day, I was the "Mystery Reader" in Madison's kindergarten class today. So at 11:45 am, in the middle of the day, I stopped what I was doing, got myself to school for 11:45 so that I could spend 15 mins to read to Maddy and her friends. How great was that? My mom never did stuff like that for me and I used to want a "normal" mom like that so badly! But we are chinese and chinese moms just didn't do stuff like that. pffft!

So I walk into the class and all of Maddy's friends were so excited! "I knew it Maddy! YOUR mom is the mystery reader!" and they all saw me holding the "Biscuit" books in my hands and the buzz of excitement just ran across the room...well except for Maddy. You would have thought someone just ran her dog over. Good lord what is with my child?!?!?

So as the teacher got everyone to settle down she says "Madison, why don't you invite your mom over to sit so she can read to us?!" and I watched my daughter nodded NO with her head...well I didn't care, I walked over and chatted with her friends. THEY all seemed to like me and THEY all spoke to me except for my daughter. So I read the books that Maddy had picked out from home and then afterwards her teacher asked the class to thank me which they all did. Then she asked that they gave me a round of applause which they all did...except for my beloved daughter. So she goes, "Madison, don't you want to give your mom a round of applause?" and Maddy nods her head NO. I wanted to die and I laughed and her teacher laughs and says at least she's honest...which I have to agree she is...brutally honest! So then I wish everyone a nice rest of the afternoon and left and Maddy could not even say good bye to me.

Ok, I get it, she's shy, but I'm her freaking mother! She was IN me for 6 months for the love, if you're still shy after that I'm not sure what else could help you get over that shyness!!! I'm trying to be patient with her and to embrace Maddy and accept that she is shy and not into sports. Me, I'm loud and obnoxious, can talk to anyone and enjoy sports except for hockey and that other one with the disc and the person who looks like he's sweeping in front of it...I get it, we're not the same. I try and do quieter things with her with less people and things that SHE likes but still she's not enjoying it. I am not settling for her sitting at home and just turning into mush...she'll become...my mother in law. Thanks but no thanks. I will win this battle. Even if it kills me I WILL win, I will get her involved with something that she WILL enjoy damn it. She will SMILE and laugh when she is involved...I WILL find THAT activity!

And we have cavities...

FIVE to be exact. How did Tyler end up with 5 cavities? I'm not even sure. Juices are limited to once a day if any at all, and definitely no candy unless it's a special occasion. We floss and brush and with Plax and rinse with ACT. So....can someone please throw me a bone here?!?!? So they dentist had already suspected that Tyler just had that "kind of cavity prone" kinda mouth...and it could be genetics. Sorry, gotta blame it on the in laws. Because MY family didn't have these issues...and I don't have these issues! OY! WTF!

So I call the insurance company to find out how much this will run me and they ask you "how many surfaces are there?" Are they kidding me?! How many surfaces?!? The top surface! How do I know?! IF I knew...I would do this all myself and wouldn't need a dentist and therefore no insurance required! I then contacted my dentist who provided me with this great form with all the codes and a picture of the teeth that needed to be filled with all the surfaces and blah blah blah... I find out that the teeth that will only need one surface are covered 50%, but the ones that has two surfaces are not quite covered, well they are but minimally and they wouldn't even tell me by how little..."it depends on the contract". Oh and these are all baby teeth that will eventually fall out, but nonetheless we need to fill them because it could be years before they fall out and they could rot through by then and into the gums. But all I really heard was "please take your $1,000 and insert it in this toilet here like so. Now flush. No you don't have to put it all at once, you can do it in 4 installments if you wish."

Then on top of this he has a permanent tooth growing in in the front. REALLY exciting stuff right? Tooth fairy the whole thing...well the baby tooth is not budging, not even loose. But the new one is coming in fast and furious...and sideways! So...if the old and little doesn't come out soon..very soon, that will need to be pulled...more money to be deposited through the porcelain goddess. I love my baby boy, but I'm thinking perhaps tripping him as he is running at full speed and hope he hits his front tooth against the wall and knocks it out will do the trick? We sit there every night watching the American Idol with his mouth open and me wiggling the tooth like a mad woman...nothing.

I've even suggested that if he has nothing to do that he could sit there and gnaw on a piece of wood. Or a soccer ball, he used to do that as an infant, try to shove a huge playground ball into his mouth without success. The other night they came home and Madison reports to me, "mom! Tyler was biting on the soccer ball at grandma's house and it popped! and Grandpa tried to tape it back but it still leaks!" All these thoughts just ran through my head, but priorities, "Tyler, open your mouth, let me feel that tooth!" nope! still on tight! argh! "ok, what?! why were you biting on a soccer ball? what's wrong with you?!" "but mom! you told me to!" My mind was racing, crap! I need to stop thinking out loud! I know I thought of it, but did I really say it out loud?! and did he really pop a leather soccer ball with that tooth? geez! it is really stubborn! why doesn't it want to come out??? "Tyler, mommy was only kidding!" "ohhhhh!"

So the next day at my mom's house they showed me the soccer ball and thank goodness it was a beachball that looks like a soccer ball. phew! but yes, he did bite it and it did pop. My sanity level is slipping away here...

Feed me...hungry!!!

So I get it. Not all of us, including myself, are big morning eaters, but the kids know they have to go to school and they don't get snack time until about 10ish or so and that's too late for their first meal. Snack time really isn't a meal, they get 5 minutes to choke down some fruit or a some crackers, so if you skip breakfast and wait until then, a piece of fruit, or a cracker will not cut it. I don't make my kids eat a huge breakfast, normally a half a cup of milk and cereal, or scrambled eggs, or piece of toast with peanutbutter. Just something small.

The past two days Madison has been refusing breakfast. "NO! I don't want to eat nothing!" "ok then, you'll be hungry!" "I don't care!" Yesterday, I had poured out a bowl of cereal for her and already had the milk in it and so when she sat there pouting in front of it I took the bowl away and I continued to prepare their lunchboxes and I waited until the cereal turned into mush. THEN I said "Madi, this is your last chance to eat if you don't eat you will starve."
"ok..."
I walked over and put the bowl of really gross mushy cereal in front of her. You couldn't pay me money to eat that! and I watched her touch it with her spoon and looked at me like I was nuts. I didn't look at her and continued to keep "busy." She ate her cereal...gross! and brought her bowl to the kitchen. I informed her this is the last time she gets a second chance, next time she doesn't eat when I tell her to she will go to school hungry and she said ok.

So today we go down for breakfast. "Ok guys! What would you like for breakfast? Apple oatmeal? cereal? eggs?"
Tyler "cinnamon toast crunch!"
Madi "nothing!"
Me "Madi you will be hungry then!"
Madi "No I won't!" I was fuming. Wiseass!
That's when her father comes in "c'mon Madi, stop being so difficult! You have to eat breakfast!"
Me: "Well it's too late, I only offer once."

So my daughter was sent to school today without any breakfast. She'll probably eat the plastic off the lunchbox she'll be so hungry by lunchtime, but this will teach HER a lesson...hopefully. I informed her teacher of this morning's episode so that she was aware of why she would be so hungry at snack time and she too thought this would teach her a lesson...hopefully.

Independence Day!

So today is day 3 of back to school and Madison actually did not bitch about going to school last night or this morning! yippee!!!! Nor did she nag about going to grandma and grandpa's house after school! Holy cow!!! I'm thinking I can not talk about this outloud and jinx myself so I will have to just write about it here. Perhaps my daughter has been possessed by a non nagging child? do those even exist? I think my Madison is growing up finally! I KNOW Tyler is! He's going to kindergarten on his own now, doesn't need me to walk him to class, he goes on his own, gets himself undressed and stuff in his locker and his bum into the classroom.

It's funny how I realize that kids all have their own little quirks and we as parents do just need accept which quirks are personality differences and which quirks can be and SHOULD be altered and/or corrected. Like this morning for example, I was standing back waiting for Madison to get her self "undressed", meaning coat in her locker, hats and gloves and scarf in her locker, lunchbox away and got her folder and water bottle out to bring in with her. I dont help her so that she has that independence part at least. But then I notice that another little girl who goes into school on her own at the locker next to Madison was standing there talking to Madison was scratching her little bum...but she was wearing a little skirt and pantyhose and she was scratching her bum with her pantyhose almost pulled down...well pulled down enough so that her bum was exposed! In the hallway! So these may be behaviors that should be addressed. i'm huge on manners. These behaviors need to be addressed. I know as my kids were growing and had the speech delays I used to force them to say Hi and address ppl they knew and their teachers would ask me not to force them...I disagreed.

I think it's important for us as parents to help our kids to grow up and be a part of society and help improve society. We should not be enabling them to drag society down. We should not be allowing them to be spoiled. Yes we should give them opportunities we were not given, but that should help them to better themselves to the opposite. I see kids who can not at the age of 4 feed themselves because their parents or nannies do it for them! why? kids who can not dress themselves. Then we have the older breastfeeders. We laugh when we see them. Are we really breastfeeding them for their health? Maybe...but what about their mental health? I just watched "Grown Ups" and one of the kids was like 5 and still breastfeeding which brought back a memory I had of a kid who did that right in front of me on a commuter train! This was BC times for me (Before Children). Was the mother being selfish? Does she really need to feel like she was so needed that she was going to make her grown child continue to breastfeed instead of helping him/her to be on their own? I mean for real!

Parents work a lot, and with that comes a lot of guilt. I feel it. To compensate we want to give our kids everything but we have to remember what that is doing to our children. I'm guilty of this. I have taken my kids on a couple of vacations, but nothing crazy...and yes they have a vast selection of video games. However they do still remember who is in charge. They knew how to act in a restaurant or not to act. Kids will be kids and they need to be kids, but there needs to be boundaries set and I think parents forget that sometimes. We can't be their friends, we are their parents.

Kids are so smart at such a young age, they know which buttons to push and if you let them do something once oh boy they will expect it time and time again. Example: my brother had let my kids change the dvd on the dvd player once at his house. From that day on they would go and push the buttons on the dvd player, he says no they still did it, because he let them do it before, and so he went through the pangs of having to say no everytime they went over there. At home they know that they are not to touch the tv OR the dvd player and we never had that problem. We never had to get tv button guards for our tv or any of that.

Help your kids grow up independent!

Night and Day...

My twins are really like night and day. Tyler who I thought was going to be the "momma's boy" is growing up to be the more independent little man, going off to kindergarten by himself and just becoming quite the social butterfly. Madison, on the otherhand...my first one to walk and so I thought "she'll be the first one to fly the coop" has come back! and has come backwards and reverted. She is now again having separation anxiety, or well what seems to be separation anxiety from me.

So I thought about it long and hard and thought that perhaps it because I am always working and my time spent with her is limited. It's tough since I am a mortgage broker and sometimes when my phone rings, it rings and I have to take a call...and my kids know this. They have been growing up with this since birth. I've never had a nanny and have juggled this with my kids and we just make do, and I have to admit that they have been as cooperative as I can expect from twins of young age. I remember when they were still 3 and 4 years old and the minute I got on the phone with a client they kids would whip open the freezer and the popsicles would fly out and there was nothing I could do...but that was ok :) and I digress... So this winter vacation we were not going anywhere, and it's traditionally slow at work so I spent the 2 weeks devoted to my kids. We played Scrabble Jr, Wii, Guess Who?, went sledding, built snowmen, and watched movies. It was great, both kids were happy, and she seemed really happy. This was great, but reality is that we can't stay a single income family year round so back to real life...

It's just so frustrating because I thought by now they would have out grown it and when she was doing so well! She now begins to cry the night before she knows she has school or girl scouts because she knows she'll be away from me. I tell her she's silly and that I'm always there to pick her back up and so she needs to stop the craziness. I know she is trying to play me and she IS persistent, I give her that, but she is going...I don't care how much she cries. So I pick my battles. In 2011, I will not bug her about her overnight pull ups, I will not bug her about walking into her school alone, all I ask is that she does not bitch and moan and cry about going to school and girl scouts. I need her to try and relax and enjoy this time as a kid. The minute she does bitch and moan about going to school or Girl Scouts I will not accompany her into the school. Maybe she isn't like me all loud and obnoxious, or her brother who wants to play with friends and do sports. I'll just accept her for being a "homebody" and let her stay by my side...I guess there is nothing "wrong" with that...right? We just live in this world now where kids all have these activities and schedules where they are busier than their parents and I have come to realize and remember that when I was younger I didn't. I was lucky to have 1 sport or an afterschool activity...Madison doesnt even want to do that...but fine, that's her. We'll see how well this works.