So today is day 3 of back to school and Madison actually did not bitch about going to school last night or this morning! yippee!!!! Nor did she nag about going to grandma and grandpa's house after school! Holy cow!!! I'm thinking I can not talk about this outloud and jinx myself so I will have to just write about it here. Perhaps my daughter has been possessed by a non nagging child? do those even exist? I think my Madison is growing up finally! I KNOW Tyler is! He's going to kindergarten on his own now, doesn't need me to walk him to class, he goes on his own, gets himself undressed and stuff in his locker and his bum into the classroom.
It's funny how I realize that kids all have their own little quirks and we as parents do just need accept which quirks are personality differences and which quirks can be and SHOULD be altered and/or corrected. Like this morning for example, I was standing back waiting for Madison to get her self "undressed", meaning coat in her locker, hats and gloves and scarf in her locker, lunchbox away and got her folder and water bottle out to bring in with her. I dont help her so that she has that independence part at least. But then I notice that another little girl who goes into school on her own at the locker next to Madison was standing there talking to Madison was scratching her little bum...but she was wearing a little skirt and pantyhose and she was scratching her bum with her pantyhose almost pulled down...well pulled down enough so that her bum was exposed! In the hallway! So these may be behaviors that should be addressed. i'm huge on manners. These behaviors need to be addressed. I know as my kids were growing and had the speech delays I used to force them to say Hi and address ppl they knew and their teachers would ask me not to force them...I disagreed.
I think it's important for us as parents to help our kids to grow up and be a part of society and help improve society. We should not be enabling them to drag society down. We should not be allowing them to be spoiled. Yes we should give them opportunities we were not given, but that should help them to better themselves to the opposite. I see kids who can not at the age of 4 feed themselves because their parents or nannies do it for them! why? kids who can not dress themselves. Then we have the older breastfeeders. We laugh when we see them. Are we really breastfeeding them for their health? Maybe...but what about their mental health? I just watched "Grown Ups" and one of the kids was like 5 and still breastfeeding which brought back a memory I had of a kid who did that right in front of me on a commuter train! This was BC times for me (Before Children). Was the mother being selfish? Does she really need to feel like she was so needed that she was going to make her grown child continue to breastfeed instead of helping him/her to be on their own? I mean for real!
Parents work a lot, and with that comes a lot of guilt. I feel it. To compensate we want to give our kids everything but we have to remember what that is doing to our children. I'm guilty of this. I have taken my kids on a couple of vacations, but nothing crazy...and yes they have a vast selection of video games. However they do still remember who is in charge. They knew how to act in a restaurant or not to act. Kids will be kids and they need to be kids, but there needs to be boundaries set and I think parents forget that sometimes. We can't be their friends, we are their parents.
Kids are so smart at such a young age, they know which buttons to push and if you let them do something once oh boy they will expect it time and time again. Example: my brother had let my kids change the dvd on the dvd player once at his house. From that day on they would go and push the buttons on the dvd player, he says no they still did it, because he let them do it before, and so he went through the pangs of having to say no everytime they went over there. At home they know that they are not to touch the tv OR the dvd player and we never had that problem. We never had to get tv button guards for our tv or any of that.
Help your kids grow up independent!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Night and Day...
My twins are really like night and day. Tyler who I thought was going to be the "momma's boy" is growing up to be the more independent little man, going off to kindergarten by himself and just becoming quite the social butterfly. Madison, on the otherhand...my first one to walk and so I thought "she'll be the first one to fly the coop" has come back! and has come backwards and reverted. She is now again having separation anxiety, or well what seems to be separation anxiety from me.
So I thought about it long and hard and thought that perhaps it because I am always working and my time spent with her is limited. It's tough since I am a mortgage broker and sometimes when my phone rings, it rings and I have to take a call...and my kids know this. They have been growing up with this since birth. I've never had a nanny and have juggled this with my kids and we just make do, and I have to admit that they have been as cooperative as I can expect from twins of young age. I remember when they were still 3 and 4 years old and the minute I got on the phone with a client they kids would whip open the freezer and the popsicles would fly out and there was nothing I could do...but that was ok :) and I digress... So this winter vacation we were not going anywhere, and it's traditionally slow at work so I spent the 2 weeks devoted to my kids. We played Scrabble Jr, Wii, Guess Who?, went sledding, built snowmen, and watched movies. It was great, both kids were happy, and she seemed really happy. This was great, but reality is that we can't stay a single income family year round so back to real life...
It's just so frustrating because I thought by now they would have out grown it and when she was doing so well! She now begins to cry the night before she knows she has school or girl scouts because she knows she'll be away from me. I tell her she's silly and that I'm always there to pick her back up and so she needs to stop the craziness. I know she is trying to play me and she IS persistent, I give her that, but she is going...I don't care how much she cries. So I pick my battles. In 2011, I will not bug her about her overnight pull ups, I will not bug her about walking into her school alone, all I ask is that she does not bitch and moan and cry about going to school and girl scouts. I need her to try and relax and enjoy this time as a kid. The minute she does bitch and moan about going to school or Girl Scouts I will not accompany her into the school. Maybe she isn't like me all loud and obnoxious, or her brother who wants to play with friends and do sports. I'll just accept her for being a "homebody" and let her stay by my side...I guess there is nothing "wrong" with that...right? We just live in this world now where kids all have these activities and schedules where they are busier than their parents and I have come to realize and remember that when I was younger I didn't. I was lucky to have 1 sport or an afterschool activity...Madison doesnt even want to do that...but fine, that's her. We'll see how well this works.
So I thought about it long and hard and thought that perhaps it because I am always working and my time spent with her is limited. It's tough since I am a mortgage broker and sometimes when my phone rings, it rings and I have to take a call...and my kids know this. They have been growing up with this since birth. I've never had a nanny and have juggled this with my kids and we just make do, and I have to admit that they have been as cooperative as I can expect from twins of young age. I remember when they were still 3 and 4 years old and the minute I got on the phone with a client they kids would whip open the freezer and the popsicles would fly out and there was nothing I could do...but that was ok :) and I digress... So this winter vacation we were not going anywhere, and it's traditionally slow at work so I spent the 2 weeks devoted to my kids. We played Scrabble Jr, Wii, Guess Who?, went sledding, built snowmen, and watched movies. It was great, both kids were happy, and she seemed really happy. This was great, but reality is that we can't stay a single income family year round so back to real life...
It's just so frustrating because I thought by now they would have out grown it and when she was doing so well! She now begins to cry the night before she knows she has school or girl scouts because she knows she'll be away from me. I tell her she's silly and that I'm always there to pick her back up and so she needs to stop the craziness. I know she is trying to play me and she IS persistent, I give her that, but she is going...I don't care how much she cries. So I pick my battles. In 2011, I will not bug her about her overnight pull ups, I will not bug her about walking into her school alone, all I ask is that she does not bitch and moan and cry about going to school and girl scouts. I need her to try and relax and enjoy this time as a kid. The minute she does bitch and moan about going to school or Girl Scouts I will not accompany her into the school. Maybe she isn't like me all loud and obnoxious, or her brother who wants to play with friends and do sports. I'll just accept her for being a "homebody" and let her stay by my side...I guess there is nothing "wrong" with that...right? We just live in this world now where kids all have these activities and schedules where they are busier than their parents and I have come to realize and remember that when I was younger I didn't. I was lucky to have 1 sport or an afterschool activity...Madison doesnt even want to do that...but fine, that's her. We'll see how well this works.
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