Marriage

Why are my kids SO obssessed with marriage?! Tyler especially is constantly talking about getting married. We could be doing laundry and he will start in on marriage. I tell them that they should never get married and just stay with mommy. And they look at me like I'm crazy and they smile...kinda like "boy is SHE in for a rude awakening!"

Tyler has come up with this great compromise. He tells me that he promises to "still come home mommy after I am married." and that's when I want to come up with a smart answer like "only if you don't bring that tramp of a wife with you" :) but I know better now and didn't say anything but smile. After all I AM 36 and he's 5.

So we are now into our 2nd week of school. I hear the kids talking about Tyler's "girlfriend" and I play along. "Is she blond Tyler?", "no, brown hair", "is she pretty Tyler?", "yeah she's hot". well ok then! and then "how old is she Tyler, is she in your class?", "no she's older". Surprise surprise, why I am not surprised?! That's when Madi chimes in with a "I think she's 18 mom." I am a bit stunned and asked, "are you sure?!?", Tyler clarifies it all, "NO! I think she might be 16 or something". Oh ok! 16 is ok! When will my son "fall" for someone maybe even in a 5 year range of him???

So I walk into school with them yesterday and all of a sudden Madi goes, "MOM! she's right there!" and I look over to see a very pretty young brunette in athletic gear (apparently an intern for the phys ed department) and I look over at Tyler to see him trying to be inconspicuous and walking a big circle around her and staring at her the entire time he was doing this. Poor kid needs some tact lessons. So I asked Tyler, "is that your girlfriend Tyler?" "yeah mommy! see I told you she is wearing a cast!" and she was and yes that was part of his description of her to me at home.

Whatever happened to getting good grades? My son is just girl crazy and wants to play basketball, soccer, and football. He told me yesterday that he was going to be a "soccer man" when he grows up. Which is fine, but even "soccer men" need to be able to read and write and count his money. I also am hoping and praying that this older woman trend comes to and end soon. I really don't want to be collecting social security alongside my daughter in law, or we can take turns using our senior citizen discount at McDonalds and taking Tyler out to lunch. Or if we were both in wheelchairs...who would he push? or push off?!

Imagination Play

The imagination of children makes me laugh so hard. Listening to them play together and come up with "great" ideas brings smiles to everyone's faces and many times will bring many to just holding onto their tummies from laughing so hard.



It's also funny how these "new" ideas are old ideas and something that's been done and played generations before. and it's funny how our cultures always end up being a part of the play. My parents have been in the country for over 36 years now and I was born here...so my kids are even more removed from "being chinese" than I was, yet with their friends they played "chinese restaurant"...just like I did as a kid. Why do we do this? although I have to say as these kids become more and more advance at a young age and are more "mature" with their thoughts they do throw in interesting twists and turns. So as they play "chinese restaurant", Madi reports to me that Chloe's grandmother dies! so now my mind is running and wondering OMG! Did she really die? or is this make believe? So I must have had that look on my face of utter horror and confusion at the same time and that was when Madi tells me, "no mom. It was a stick." As if THAT was going to make sense to me! "No mom, the stick is the phone, and someone called Chloe and said her grandma died". "ohhhh..." Now I'm really confused...i realize it's pretend play but did she really die?

Do I ask or don't ask? And what are my kids telling their friends if this is how imagination play is now? Are they telling their friends that mommy has died? or their grandparents have died?! and btw, very much frowned upon in the chinese culture. If you had said that to MY grandmother I might as well have killed her myself! I guess chinese people don't believe that sometimes words are just words.

So back to imagination play as we have just digressed a bit...chinese kids play "chinese restaurant", what do jewish kids operate when playing restaurant? do they have delis? and the Indians...do they all operate seven elevens?

Curious MInds...

These questions are just getting harder and harder everyday. I listen to my kids chit chat with each other about "serious" and then when they hit a bump in the road they ask me. Lately, the discussion has been why I married daddy...

"Mommy, why you marry daddy?
me: "what do you mean Madi?"
M: "why did he want to marry you?"
me: "I'm not sure"
M: "well...were you wearing a dress? Is that why he asked you?"
me: "yeah, I think so..."

Then they discuss amongst themselves and Madi explains to Tyler: "Tylah! Mommy married Daddy because he asked her. He had to say Mona will you marry me? and mommy said yes!" Tyler: "ohhhhhhhh"

That was this morning. Then they go to camp and come home and I immediately shower their sticky little bodies and Madi asks...

Madi: "Mommy, what are these"
Me: "nipples"
Madi: giggles and asks "when will mine be big like yours?"
Now I never knew she thought my nipples were so large, not that she's seen them, but she was referring to breasts. and I tell her when she gets older and then she asks if I would get her a "nip ball case" when her's are larger and I agree.

Then we have a couple of hours in between before I realize the kids are chatting again. They are now talking about nip ball cases and how mine is pink and how Madi would like a pink one too. Then they ask daddy, "Daddy, do YOU need a nip ball case?" Are you going to buy one? and they run off giggling.

And as I proceed to sign off, my husband is saying something about going to Dick's (sporting goods store) and Madi is now saying to her self, "dicks, dicks, dicks, dicks..."

Do we do WHAT?!?

Finally the day has come when my husband had to field one of the difficult questions in life and yes he ran like a mouse that was in a dark room and the lights all of a sudden came on. I was working late as usual and had a client on the phone when he comes running in and trying to find a pen and paper so he could write this down. All the while he was laughing so hard and trying to just tell me instead of write it but hello?! I had a client on the phone.

I finish my call and he tells me that Tyler has asked him..."Daddy, do you and mommy have sex?" dun dun DUN!!! What?!? how does he know this? is this another spongebob thing? Does Spongebob and Patrick have sex? or is it Squidward? or the snail that meows like a cat? and of course because Kevin runs off laughing and trying to tell me what was just asked the kids now know it's causes a huge reaction and is loving this and will continue to talk about it because it makes us laugh. Granted I probably would have laughed too, but then it needs to be addressed and of course he had no clue and so again the job was left to me.

So we sit down at dinner and we talk about what happened at camp and who were their new friends, etc, etc. So I bring up the question and said "Tyler, what did you ask Daddy again?" and he says "um...do daddy and you have sex?" and I ask "Tyler where did you hear that?" and he tells me Luke. Luke is a boy who was in his preschool class. "Tyler, do you know what that means?" and Tyler and Madi look at each other and laugh and he proudly tells me "thats when you and daddy hug and kiss" and he puckers up his lips and they both giggle away. So I don't tell him if he's right or wrong, but i do tell him that it's inappropriate for kids to talk about, only adults. He does ask me why and I told him that it just is.

Whether or not it's something he had heard from preschool is unknown...however it isn't something discussed at home, nor on the programs that they watch. Unless Dora has taken to a new sport with Diego? but Diego is her cousin! that would be gross no? Or it could be Ni Hao Kai Lan and her little monkey friend Ho Ho? As we enter elementary school they will start hearing stuff from the older kids and it is now hitting me that I am really in for a ride...maybe the bars will go up on the kids' windows sooner than I had planned...

Learning to Forgive

So summer camp has started...amen! and the kids like it there, feeling their way around, and sticking together. I want them to try and be independent, but oh well, I guess they are still young and they need to look out for each other. We have recently had some incidents and I'm trying to teach them to be able to forgive someone.

Last weekend, a neighborhood friend came over to play outside with them. And here's how it went down told by Madi and Tyler.
T: "we were playing frisbee, and I was aiming for Madi"
M: "yeah Tyler was trying to throw it to me!"
T: "and then Ben won't stop talking"
M: "yeah then he pinched Tyler!"

So Ben was brought home. The kids told me this story and Tyler runs off crying because he was pinched. Madi walks around the house saying, "I don't know why Ben did that! why mommy? Tyler! why Ben did that?" and this goes on for 5 mins. Finally the crying stops and I say maybe he pinched Tyler by accident and that accidents happen. "No" Madi tells me, "Ben pinched Tyler and next time he comes here I will tell him, NO PINCHING!" So I said "No Madi, you will not say anything. You need to give your friends 2nd chances everyone gets chances, maybe it was by accident!" And Madi insists on having this talk with Ben. She also reassures Tyler that she has that plan and how they will address him when he comes back again. Instead of making this into a bigger issue I let it go...maybe they will forget.

So we start camp yesterday and Tyler reports back that a boy kicked him with his shoe. So I asked what happened next and Tyler said the boy apologized. "Great! That means it was an accident" I explain to him. He says no it wasn't and that he'll never play with that boy. That's when I say "ok guys, sometimes when you guys are playing, other kids may hurt you by accident, not on purpose, but they apologize and you say ok and it's done. You are still friends and you just keep on playing. This is called forgiving someone." "No", Madi tells me, "I don't want to forgive." "Well Madi, what happens if YOU hurt someone by accident and they don't want to play with you?" and the girl responds with "Then i don't play then! I just walk away!" Now I'm racking my brain and I think of her Preschool "love". "ok, how about if you hurt Danny by accident and you say sorry, but Danny says no and doesnt' forgive you, won't that make you sad?" "No, if he doesn't want to play with me then I walk away and play with someone else!"

In my head I'm thinking that's my girl, don't give in to a boy just cuz you like him. But they are so tough on other kids and holds these grudges! Where is this coming from??? Granted if someone kicked me in the head I'd be pissed, but if it was an accident then it's an accident! And poor Tyler, he's listening to all this. His sister is definitely more adamant with this whole forgiving vs. not forgiving thing so which side will he end up on?

I also pray for the kids who crosses her path as she starts her career in school. When we hit those years in middle and high school, I have a feeling this blog will be much busier...well if I am not in meetings with the principal all the time!

Note to self: need a movie that focuses on forgiving and how that whole concept works.