Wednesday, August 24, 2011

and She's Not Even 7 Yet...

It's not like I leave my kids to fend for themselves and let them starve. Tyler had a doctor's appointment yesterday in the middle of the day and so instead of me taking them to my mom's house where they normally go for the day and then have to pick them up only a few hours later for the appointment, I just kept them at home with me. We had a really nice morning, we had breakfast together, the kids did what they wanted, played games, etc. Then they wanted to help me, so I had them help me stuff some envelopes for a mailing I was preparing. It all worked out great. Then we left for the doctor's appointment, but before the appointment I wanted to stop by my office to get the mailings stamped and sent out and Madison knew this so she got her Hello Kitty sparkly purse and brushed her hair. She NEVER brushes her hair!

We got to my office and they were very pleasant. I did what I needed to do and we left. They did well at the doctor's office as well and then we went home. At home we had lunch and dessert then they settled down to watch tv and I went down to my home office to get some work done. About 30 minutes later Madi comes down and asks for ice cream. I hold up my finger to signal for 1 minute as I was on the phone. They know at an early age that when I have a phone in my ear you can't disturb mommy and now that they are almost 7, they should know better. Especially when it's my office phone. So she goes upstairs and comes back down after a few minutes and beginnings to go off on me! "No! you said 1 minute and that was a long time ago! You get me ice cream NOW!"

Whoa! Is she serious? 1. She can't be hungry 2. Even if she was she can't be THAT hungry 3. There are kids hungrier...especially when she just had lunch. 4. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT and last but not least 5. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER!!!!!

So of course that resulted in her getting NO ice cream and me breathing really really hard in my office counting to 10 about 500 times. After I calmed down I explained to her again that when mommy is on the phone with a client that she must wait patiently until I am done. She is also never to talk to me or anyone else for that matter in that tone! Not acceptable. So she said yes she understood.

This morning she had breakfast, all was dandy. I had to take care of a few emails and concentrate on something real quick and she wanted a 3rd piece of toast. ok fine. Just give me a minute. I come upstairs to find that she had flipped our dining room chair onto the floor! Is she serious?! She was gonna have a bar fight in my dining room? I was ready to kill her! 830am in my diningroom with a chair flipped on the floor. i told her i was going to take a picture of it and send it to her father and her 1st grade teacher and she flipped out and tried to put the chair back, of course she didn't make it in time.

What am I going to do? I know wine won't help me...but will vodka? I'm not sure...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Tell Me To My Face Lady!

Like the lioness, mother gorilla, mommy dinosaur and any mommy animal, I am very protective over my babies...just as you mommies out there reading my blog are as well I am sure. Some may be more so than I am. Those of you who know me know that I am all for independence and letting go, but when another mother has something to say about MY baby...well you better keep it to yourself or do like this chicken of a mother did and said it without my knowing until it was too late.

We were at Tar-jay yesterday getting the stuff we needed for back to school. I had my list that was sent for 1st graders in hand, the twins, and the cart pusher aka my husband. Not helpful as he was only a part time cart pusher as he "has a hot coffee in hand and can't push the cart." So there we were at the "Back to School" section and we had 2 of every requested item so we had:
tissues, clorox wipes, markers, crayons, colored pencils, #2 pencils, scissors, glue sticks, and the list goes on. Ok supplies done. Now we need a new backpack and lunchbox.

Now with the backpack and lunchbox I do want to get new ones every year because they do go through hell and god only knows what kind of crap is growing in them. The kids have learned that it would be nice if the backpacks matched the lunchboxes...they even took it further and had the file folder and binder match the lunch box and backpack too :)

So Tyler and Madison were looking through and there were some choices to be made there. Do we do Spongebob? Transformers? Princess? But last year was princess...oh but there's iCarly! Ok....breathe. Well there next to them were 2 little girls, one was right about the twins' age and was trying to help them decide...and pulling out different backpacks for them to look at. I thought "wow, Tar-jay can really get busted for these underaged workers!" But come to find out she too was a shopper! But why the interest in my kids? well she was cute and probably just nosy like Madison.

So Tyler finally decides on the Star Wars theme and we got his backpack, lunchbox, folder and binder. Madison, decides on iCarly. iCarly and her friend Sam is plastered all over the backpack and lunchbox, folder and binder. oy vay! The little girl comes over to me and informs me "I think she's picking everything iCarly..."
Me: "Yeah...I think she is" and I smile at her. "She loves iCarly. Do you?"
And she walks away.

Later on my cart pusher tells me that the little girl was telling her mother and her mother said "well iCarly is silly and that is why you are not allowed to watch that program." Well you know what ugly lady? if iCarly is silly then my kids and I must be out of our minds crazy. How dare she?! So now it all makes sense. The woman doesn't let her poor daughter be little girl which is why she was all in Madison's business. And if that woman had said that to my face I would have informed her that she should perhaps open her mind just a teensy bit and allow her daughter be a little girl and have some fun. Life is just too short and if she doesn't let her daughter have fun and be a kid she's going to grow up to be an uptight stuck up bitch like her!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I Don't Get It...

I wake up every morning and look at my babies. They are turning 7 this November. I can still remember bringing them home from the hospital. What an incredible ride it's been and it's still going on and on and on. I have to say there has not been one dull moment in our lives ever since the twins have been born although Madison may disagree, she still constantly sits there and complains about being bored. My wish is for a day of boredom!

So how does this child with just so much wisdom...I mean it has to be wisdom right? She has input on just about everything anyone says or does in this house. She "teaches" Tyler how to do things the "right way" and she advises him on how to do things and what he should do. Like yesterday, they were hanging out in their play area in the basement and I was working in my office not far from them. My radars are alway picking up what they are saying and although it doesn't appear that I am paying attention, which admittedly sometimes I'm not, but there are times that something will click into place...so yesterday I suddenly pick up signals.

Madison: "hey Tyler wouldn't it be a great idea if we have popcorn and sit here and watch our cartoon like a movie?"
Tyler: "oh yeah!"
Madison: "ok! you go ask mom!"
Tyler: "ok"

and I hear feet running up the stairs coming to my office. Tyler, Tyler...the poor little man just got tricked by the wicked...wicked smart little Madison.

"Madison, I heard that whole conversation and don't you ever trick Tyler into asking for snacks for you again!"
"No Mom! But Tyler does want it too!
"Madi, it was YOUR idea so YOU should ask me not Tyler!"

Needless to say they both went back down with no snacks. There are many other things she suggests for others that I just can't blog about...not until they are no longer with us so that I don't offend them. This little girl is just so on her toes. So now I ask the question...

WHY DOES SHE KEEP WETTING HER BED?!?! Good lord! I'm sick in bed with a 101 temp, fluid in my ears and her father snoring next to me. She wakes me up to say she needs to be changed because she has wet her bed. I go to her room and not only has she wet her bed, but she has converted her bed into a complete WATERBED! How big is her bladder?!?! CAN it be bigger than her head?!?! OMG! I just don't get it...