What a GREAT idea!

As my kids are more than halfway through the 1st grade and think that they are now learning about things that I don't know anything about, it just makes me laugh and intrigues me with the way the think and see things. It's so innocent. They have no idea how they are coming across to people, they don't mean to be malicious or to be condescending and that is what makes them so funny.

The curriculum in 1st grade is so much different than kindergarten. They are learning about real people. Every few days they come home and tell me "mommy do you know so and so and do you know that he/she did this and that?" They purge all this info out to you. It's the sweetest thing to hear...especially from kids that refused to speak early on in their lives. Just recently they finished their unit on Black History Month. They learned about Martin Luther King, Jr. The kids would come home and inform me "mom! we're learning about Black History Month" and I said "Great! you guys are gonna love it!" Now understand that my kids refer to everyone as "that man, girl, lady, or boy." So one day they came home with a cut out of Martin Luther King, Jr, it was 24 inches tall. Madison's was wearing a black suit and purple tie. Purple is her favorite color. So I asked her who is this? She informs me "it's that boy, Mardin Luder King, Jr!" A few days later the kids were discussing something and I couldn't understand what they were saying so I asked them how school was and what they did. They replied "good. Mom, you know that girl?" I answered, "nope! which girl?" Tyler answered "you know, that girl on the bus?" and I knew already that they were speaking of Rosa Parks. So I said "No, which girl? What happened?" So Madi finished, "the girl on the bus and she wasn't "apposed"(she has trouble pronouncing suppose) to sit in the front of the bus and the police arrested her. She has to sit in the back. Do you know that black and brown people are the same thing?" So I replied "yes i know her. Her name was Rosa Parks. And a long time ago that's how people who were not white were treated and it was not right was it?"

For my kids they are brown people vs. black people. They get confused when they hear people being called black people because for them they are brown not black. One day they will understand I suppose. Just like they will continue to learn more about "the girl on the bus."

I was watching "The Help" this weekend and my kids wandered in and read the title. Intrigued the hung around...I thought it would be ok since they have been exposed to Rosa Parks and being arrested. I've also never been one to hide reality. Plus being Asian and being in a very diverse community at school I think it's important for kids even at a young age to understand what inclusion truly means that there is no room for discrimation. I would like to preclude this with remember my kids calls everyone a boy, girl, lady, or man. For example, a chef is a "cooker boy." So in the beginning of the movie we still haven't settled so there was still a lot of talking and I know the kids haven't heard anything the narrator was saying because I know I didn't and of course they had no clue that this was a movie where there was still segregation or what that was. On the screen was a maid taking care of a baby and the mother came in and barked out some orders. Tyler screams out "Hey! We should get a helper girl too! That way mom if you need help you don't have to bother me then she can help you and I can still play games!"

My son the genius. I just hope he doesn't say that at school and find out that some of his friends actually DO have "helper girls" and ask for one for his birthday! That is not the same as getting him a beyblade or a lego kit! It's all so innocent. No malicious intent. Just looking out for his momma...and for his own convenience!

Yet Another Holy Shit Moment...

I know we always say wow our weekends just fly by and as the twins get older the weekends really do fly by. As they do get older they have their own social lives and I'd like to be able to develop my own social life again...whatever that may be. This morning I got the kids to school and I saw Tyler put his folder in his cubby and it happened to open a little and there were papers in there. Normally I would take everything out so that it's empty when he takes it back to school. Even if I can't look at his work I put it in a pile and check out his progress later on...so it was obvious that we didn't even look at his folder over the weekend. How embarrassing. What's even more embarrassing is that I KNOW Madi's folder would be a mess as she shoves EVERYTHING including the kitchen sink in her folder and I am always taking everything out...so her teacher will definitely know that I did not go through her stuff...oy! So I stood there and thought "what in the hell is going on?! what did we do after school yesterday that I didn't look in your folder?!" and then it hit me. OMG! We didn't have school yesterday! It was the weekend! So that's even worse! I seriously could not remember we had a weekend and just lost 2 days from my memory!!!

My problem is that although I am not a single mother and I KNOW there are a lot of moms out there that feel the same way I do, I feel like I am! I have to do everything myself. Why? And as I think back to this weekend now I think I know why I've wiped it out of my mind. I was actually asked at one point..."So I'll actually have Madi by myself all day?!" I told him "yes!" and he actually grunted. It was a day out of the ordinary as normally on Sunday mornings I have my walking groups and then I would do my food shopping and then take one or 2 kids to a birthday party if there was one and if not I would have them do some activity. However yesterday was different. I am on the reunion committee for our 20th High School Reunion and so yesterday was our first meeting and that was followed with a birthday party for Tyler's friend. This happened with work calls in between and work calls right when I returned from the party. Oh and the THREE loads of laundry I put away that were sitting in baskets in the livingroom. He had "helped" me by folding them. Thank you! So I didn't get a chance to relax until about 5pm...and HE had it hard.

I'm thinking it's less headache and much more fun to not have a husband and to just have a nanny and a boyfriend? just saying...

So as I stood there this morning in Tyler's class and thouht what happened?! and all these memories came gushing back and I had a big "a-ha!" moment. I turned to his teacher and said oops! thank goodness there was no homework, but he is clean and I did feed him!

Eating My Words

"Mom! Are Uggs for boys or girls?" hmmmm....So this was such a loaded question not even knowing that it was a loaded question. Instinctively I said they are for girls. So then both Madi and Tyler came back at me with well a boy in my class wore them today!!! and I did a mental "oh shit!" and all these moments replayed in my mind. First moment: Why is Tom Brady growing out his hair?! He looks like a girl...Oh! it must be for the Uggs endorsement because they are trying to get into menswear. OMG did I say those things outloud to my husband?!? Forgetting what giant sponges my kids are?!?! and then second moment "Hey Kevin! your cousin bought John bought a pair of Uggs!" and to this he replies "What?! is he serious?!?! those are so girly!" another OMG except this would warrant a OMFG because this was just recent when my kids are ginormous sponges!

So now I have to eat my words. "Well guys, Uggs are actually for both boys and girls." hmmm....you could see the wheels spinning in their heads. And before they even opened their mouths to say "but you said..." I explained that "mommy thought that Uggs only made boots for girls but now they do for boys too." and I THINK that registered and they are ok with...I THINK.

Having my kids grow up too fast...eating my words...MAKE UP! Make up is the thing that many little girls love to play with. Madi is now 16 trapped in a 7 yr old body...I remember going through that stage and my mother would not let me play with it. I am willing to compromise though. I don't want her to ruin skin by playing with toy stuff so I went to Sephora and bought her an inexpensive kit that has shadows, blusher and lip gloss. The deal is though that she can only play with it on the weekends and at home...NO GOING OUT WITH MAKE UP ON!!! She tells me some little girls do but I will not allow that unless it's Halloween.

I've had to adjust so much as the kids are growing...there are so many things that I said I would never do, but I've had to compromise and do some but not all. I think it's important as a parent that we do adjust to their needs and our needs, if we stay rigid and in our boxes no good can come of that...

It's so hard when you teach your kids not to act a certain way or do a certain thing and when they see it in public they actually say it outloud. Like "Mommy you wouldn't like that" and it's actually something someone else's mommy allows...it's kind of well embarrassing I THINK for them because yeah I still think it's inappropriate behavior! How do you teach your kids to just think it and not say it?