Monday, March 19, 2012

What a GREAT idea!

As my kids are more than halfway through the 1st grade and think that they are now learning about things that I don't know anything about, it just makes me laugh and intrigues me with the way the think and see things. It's so innocent. They have no idea how they are coming across to people, they don't mean to be malicious or to be condescending and that is what makes them so funny.

The curriculum in 1st grade is so much different than kindergarten. They are learning about real people. Every few days they come home and tell me "mommy do you know so and so and do you know that he/she did this and that?" They purge all this info out to you. It's the sweetest thing to hear...especially from kids that refused to speak early on in their lives. Just recently they finished their unit on Black History Month. They learned about Martin Luther King, Jr. The kids would come home and inform me "mom! we're learning about Black History Month" and I said "Great! you guys are gonna love it!" Now understand that my kids refer to everyone as "that man, girl, lady, or boy." So one day they came home with a cut out of Martin Luther King, Jr, it was 24 inches tall. Madison's was wearing a black suit and purple tie. Purple is her favorite color. So I asked her who is this? She informs me "it's that boy, Mardin Luder King, Jr!" A few days later the kids were discussing something and I couldn't understand what they were saying so I asked them how school was and what they did. They replied "good. Mom, you know that girl?" I answered, "nope! which girl?" Tyler answered "you know, that girl on the bus?" and I knew already that they were speaking of Rosa Parks. So I said "No, which girl? What happened?" So Madi finished, "the girl on the bus and she wasn't "apposed"(she has trouble pronouncing suppose) to sit in the front of the bus and the police arrested her. She has to sit in the back. Do you know that black and brown people are the same thing?" So I replied "yes i know her. Her name was Rosa Parks. And a long time ago that's how people who were not white were treated and it was not right was it?"

For my kids they are brown people vs. black people. They get confused when they hear people being called black people because for them they are brown not black. One day they will understand I suppose. Just like they will continue to learn more about "the girl on the bus."

I was watching "The Help" this weekend and my kids wandered in and read the title. Intrigued the hung around...I thought it would be ok since they have been exposed to Rosa Parks and being arrested. I've also never been one to hide reality. Plus being Asian and being in a very diverse community at school I think it's important for kids even at a young age to understand what inclusion truly means that there is no room for discrimation. I would like to preclude this with remember my kids calls everyone a boy, girl, lady, or man. For example, a chef is a "cooker boy." So in the beginning of the movie we still haven't settled so there was still a lot of talking and I know the kids haven't heard anything the narrator was saying because I know I didn't and of course they had no clue that this was a movie where there was still segregation or what that was. On the screen was a maid taking care of a baby and the mother came in and barked out some orders. Tyler screams out "Hey! We should get a helper girl too! That way mom if you need help you don't have to bother me then she can help you and I can still play games!"

My son the genius. I just hope he doesn't say that at school and find out that some of his friends actually DO have "helper girls" and ask for one for his birthday! That is not the same as getting him a beyblade or a lego kit! It's all so innocent. No malicious intent. Just looking out for his momma...and for his own convenience!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Yet Another Holy Shit Moment...

I know we always say wow our weekends just fly by and as the twins get older the weekends really do fly by. As they do get older they have their own social lives and I'd like to be able to develop my own social life again...whatever that may be. This morning I got the kids to school and I saw Tyler put his folder in his cubby and it happened to open a little and there were papers in there. Normally I would take everything out so that it's empty when he takes it back to school. Even if I can't look at his work I put it in a pile and check out his progress later it was obvious that we didn't even look at his folder over the weekend. How embarrassing. What's even more embarrassing is that I KNOW Madi's folder would be a mess as she shoves EVERYTHING including the kitchen sink in her folder and I am always taking everything her teacher will definitely know that I did not go through her stuff...oy! So I stood there and thought "what in the hell is going on?! what did we do after school yesterday that I didn't look in your folder?!" and then it hit me. OMG! We didn't have school yesterday! It was the weekend! So that's even worse! I seriously could not remember we had a weekend and just lost 2 days from my memory!!!

My problem is that although I am not a single mother and I KNOW there are a lot of moms out there that feel the same way I do, I feel like I am! I have to do everything myself. Why? And as I think back to this weekend now I think I know why I've wiped it out of my mind. I was actually asked at one point..."So I'll actually have Madi by myself all day?!" I told him "yes!" and he actually grunted. It was a day out of the ordinary as normally on Sunday mornings I have my walking groups and then I would do my food shopping and then take one or 2 kids to a birthday party if there was one and if not I would have them do some activity. However yesterday was different. I am on the reunion committee for our 20th High School Reunion and so yesterday was our first meeting and that was followed with a birthday party for Tyler's friend. This happened with work calls in between and work calls right when I returned from the party. Oh and the THREE loads of laundry I put away that were sitting in baskets in the livingroom. He had "helped" me by folding them. Thank you! So I didn't get a chance to relax until about 5pm...and HE had it hard.

I'm thinking it's less headache and much more fun to not have a husband and to just have a nanny and a boyfriend? just saying...

So as I stood there this morning in Tyler's class and thouht what happened?! and all these memories came gushing back and I had a big "a-ha!" moment. I turned to his teacher and said oops! thank goodness there was no homework, but he is clean and I did feed him!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Eating My Words

"Mom! Are Uggs for boys or girls?" hmmmm....So this was such a loaded question not even knowing that it was a loaded question. Instinctively I said they are for girls. So then both Madi and Tyler came back at me with well a boy in my class wore them today!!! and I did a mental "oh shit!" and all these moments replayed in my mind. First moment: Why is Tom Brady growing out his hair?! He looks like a girl...Oh! it must be for the Uggs endorsement because they are trying to get into menswear. OMG did I say those things outloud to my husband?!? Forgetting what giant sponges my kids are?!?! and then second moment "Hey Kevin! your cousin bought John bought a pair of Uggs!" and to this he replies "What?! is he serious?!?! those are so girly!" another OMG except this would warrant a OMFG because this was just recent when my kids are ginormous sponges!

So now I have to eat my words. "Well guys, Uggs are actually for both boys and girls." could see the wheels spinning in their heads. And before they even opened their mouths to say "but you said..." I explained that "mommy thought that Uggs only made boots for girls but now they do for boys too." and I THINK that registered and they are ok with...I THINK.

Having my kids grow up too fast...eating my words...MAKE UP! Make up is the thing that many little girls love to play with. Madi is now 16 trapped in a 7 yr old body...I remember going through that stage and my mother would not let me play with it. I am willing to compromise though. I don't want her to ruin skin by playing with toy stuff so I went to Sephora and bought her an inexpensive kit that has shadows, blusher and lip gloss. The deal is though that she can only play with it on the weekends and at home...NO GOING OUT WITH MAKE UP ON!!! She tells me some little girls do but I will not allow that unless it's Halloween.

I've had to adjust so much as the kids are growing...there are so many things that I said I would never do, but I've had to compromise and do some but not all. I think it's important as a parent that we do adjust to their needs and our needs, if we stay rigid and in our boxes no good can come of that...

It's so hard when you teach your kids not to act a certain way or do a certain thing and when they see it in public they actually say it outloud. Like "Mommy you wouldn't like that" and it's actually something someone else's mommy's kind of well embarrassing I THINK for them because yeah I still think it's inappropriate behavior! How do you teach your kids to just think it and not say it?

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Year in review...

I can't believe how quickly this year flew by. It was quite the busy year which is why I barely had time to write...1st grade just kicked my ass. Homework is just a bitch. Not hard work just have to find the patience within myself to help them and not do it for them. My advice to moms with multiples out there is to not take the easy way out. Don't put them in the same class, I found that it helped to build each of their confidence levels to be able to help each other out because you will find that one will have better reading skills and the other math skills, so it's nice for them to balance each other out in that way.

For 2 kids who started off in early intervention and needing speech therapy for lack of speech we are now what I call "over speeched!" Madi comes home and reports back to me about everything and everyone. In face some of the moms call me to ask about what's going on the classroom...or rather asks Madi because THEIR kids don't tell them anything! It's very cool to see how these kids blossom as they are midway through the 1st grade, no longer the lowest in the totem pole. They are now familiar with the school and with the teachers.

I went in to work with Tyler's class for a holiday project and was their for one of the little girl's show and tell. She brought in her make up collection and her brushes. I was so jealous! It was a beautiful collection and I asked for a playdate. 1st grade. These girls are growing up to 18 overnight. Madi is aware of a boy in her class who has a crush on her. She comes home and tells me he looks at her everyday and she runs. Everyone tells her he thinks she's cute. I ask her if he knows she doesn't brush her hair and she tells me she thinks so. So no motivation there for her to perhaps brush her hair without prompting from me since she has admirers without having to brush her hair...need a new angle.

Tyler has finally backed off the older women in the school I think...I do hear him and his buddies whispering about boobs and nipples. I guess boys will be boys and when they are playing sports and hanging around older boys that will happen. I try not to make the topic taboo at home. I want him to come and ask me questions rather than going out and getting the wrong answers. He tells me the other day that he can't wait to be a grown up. He wants to be able to say the F word, the SH word and the B word. My son continues to aim high!

We continue to try and decipher Madison. She is definitely my difficult child and pushes us to our limits. My guess is that I will be admitted to the Betty Ford clinic before she graduates from elementary school...I'm thinking perhaps we should move to Kentucky where it's ok to married off young!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Birthday Hell

Turning 7. I can't believe we are planning our 7th birthdays and it's getting to the point where I feel like we are planning a mini wedding. Do you remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where if we invite the Ditmeyers then we have to invite the Browns and if we invite the Browns then we have to invite the Smiths and so on and so on...and that was for a bbq. This is the samething. And it's like ok the kids have become friends with kids and now separated in 1st grade and with 2 kids I can't mentally and financially host 2 parties back to back for 20+ kids each party and plus kids outside of school! That's insanity! and then there is the issue of where we have it. We can't have it at home, because the house is not large enough for 20 kids and we are November birthdays so outside is not an option, plus the husband is anal retentive so I would just rather not hear it, thank you very much.

So I start of with a guest list to see how many kids we are dealing with and try and steer the kids in the right direction and make sure we are not leaving anyone out. I looked into a few options. And I need to point out that I am just appalled at some of these prices...I mean I just feel like I've been raped by just LOOKING at them on the website! So a certain place that shall remain anonymous, but you basically go there and the kids jump around. They advertise that they can play games, 3D Dodgeball!, and you get a private room for cake and get i think 3 pizzas, and all this for $18/head on the weekends. It's less on the weekdays. Well how many has a weekday party and really?! $18/head to jump around on a trampoline?! Man! I'd like to shake the hand of that genious who came up with this. People are paying it. it's insane.

Then I have my own issues where I need things to match...and I get a bit crazed, but I admit it. If the invitations don't match the cake, napkins and goodie bags, then everything changes. And also, I can't pay full price. I have twins! I'm paying for 2 sets of everything!!! and yes yes, I know people have more than 1 or even 2 kids, but to do it all at once is a bit harsh. So after much finagling I have settled and convinced the kids that Madison is doing a princess theme at a place where they paint with her girls and Tyler will have a sports theme and doing laser tag with his guys.

I suspect that these birthdays will only get worse as we get older. However I think as we get older we will narrow the guestlist down to the BFFs and smaller but meaningful events.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Mean Girls Club

It has been a crazy start to the 1st grade that is for sure. What a transition for ME from kindergarten to 1st. We now have homework which I have to get accustomed to. It's not difficult work obviously, but it's more discipline on me as a mom. I feel like I am being watched. So we have these reading logs we have to sign. The kids are to read 15-20 mins every night, write down the name of the book read, if they read it themselves, we read it , or a sibling did and then we sign it! and I know if I said we did that my kids would rat me out in a second...especially Madi!

And I have been trying to get in the habit of making myself come out of my home office early and checking for homework and helping them while preparing dinner and getting them showered. Instead of realizing it at 830PM and saying "oh just f*ck me there's homework!" ugh! One night I was exhausted and was gross and had to take a shower and of course Tyler announces "oh yeah, I have homework!" wonderful! it was a color by number. So I explain it to him and set him up at his table. I tell his father and he responds with "well what is it?!" I tell him it's a color by number. "What do I do?" Did he seriously ask me "What do I do?!" Did I want to punch him in the face? yes. so I explained it to him just as I did to his first grade son. Jump in the shower come out. He's on the computer. Tyler has colored in one shape. Again...just f*ck me now! As Tyler would say "cheese n rice!"

Today Madi comes home and shows me this list. It was a list of all the kids in her class. She then shows me how she and her girlfriend has made columns and labeled the columns "gff" that was originally "bff", but bff means boyfriend so they changed it to gff. So I had to explain to her the meaning of a bff. There were a few other silly columns but the one that stuck out was the "D" column. What does "D" stand for you ask? the "D" stands for decide. The girls need to decide if that child is someone they like or not and therefore a friend. I believe this is the start of "The Mean Girls Club"

As we finished dinner and were cleaning up she tells me, "Mommy, I think Kyle is going to be in the "D" column." ME: "really? I like Kyle, I don't think he should be in the "D" column." She looks at me and does it anyway. Looks like she will be the president of "The Mean Girls Club"

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Selective Osmosis

We are in a society where we are constantly watching our weight. I know I am forever "on a diet", it's just the norm. My brother is always going to the gym and coming home and saying he is watching what he eats and wants to only eat healthy and so the kids are picking up all this through osmosis. Kids have what I call "selective osmosis". It's similar to selective hearing. They just soak in the wrong info. So their uncle is playing sports and stays in shape to do so and so Tyler picks up on it as he is just starting his soccer season right now. This is a great thing. He is conscientious about what he puts in his mouth, he "tries" to avoid fatty foods, pizza and candy does not count. However he does understand that it is important that he stays active and gets his exercise. Ok. Great!

Well we were in line at the Stop & Shop last weekend and it was busy, there were quite a few ladies in front of us. We're standing and I had glanced at the magazine racks...of all the magazines, Tyler HAD to comment on the one I was pretty grossed out at myself. It was the National Enquirer and I don't even know who it was but it was not a flattering shot and it was from behind of some in a bikini. There was cellulite on cellulite on cellulite. Just not nice. Tyler points out and tells me pretty loudly "Mom! That lady needs to workout!" The problem with that was that every "lady" in front of us TURNED AROUND!!! Did I want to be buried right there in the floor of Stop & Shop? yes! This is something that he has picked up through "selective osmosis" from his uncle.

Everyday after school I ask the kids, "how was school today?" and they either answer fine or not good. Either way I probe. Can't be just fine, SOMETHING had to have happened! What did you do? blah blah blah. So Madison tells me that a reading teacher had come into her classroom. I said that was exciting! Getting extra help for the class to learn how to read was awesome...and Tyler chimes in "yeah, she came in our class too...the girl was kinda cute." I ask, "what girl?" I was a bit horrified. I knew the reading specialist was going in, but she was much older than me AND she was definitely NOT cute! He replied "the teacher!" and thats when I found out there was an son only saw the assistant...didn't see the REAL teacher...

oy vay!