How do we teach our kids to not lie, but yet there ARE times when you just can't tell the truth either. And yes sometimes the truth is not nice, so we shouldn't say the truth. And so then we as the parents are caught in a moment like that what do we do? say? or in Madi's words "we just do nothing."
We were at the Met Bar and Grill for dinner tonite and with our luck we ended up with a new server. She was a pretty young girl and Tyler immediately took a liking to her and started his "flirting" tactics. He started to blurt out just random things and making a little fool of himself, but that's ok because he's 5 and so he's still cute...and of course she giggled, partially out of nervousness and partially because he's a damned cute kid. This thrilled him. The server was new and things were a little slow and of course Madi let it be known that this was taking too long by saying "what's taking so long?!" This is when I do my obligatory "Madi, that is not nice" and laugh it off. The dinner was one of the most awkward because our server was so nervous and clumsy. I became annoyed as it really was taking so long and so when she came back to collect the dishes she asked madi "how was your chicken was it good?" and Madi looked at her and calmly stated, "NO." I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing. I didn't do my obligatory please ignore her statement and let the poor server squirm. She stood there looking at Madi and just didn't know what to do. Madi proceeded to tell her, "it's dry, there is no sauce." and she continued to stand there. After a few minutes of the most pregnant pause she left. Gotta love my daughter.
So we walk into a store. The girl who helped me was very pretty and had a beautiful figure with very large breasts wearing a tank top. When I went to pay for my purchase the kids were giggling...and Madi says "yeah! I see her nip balls," and they both ran off giggling. That's when I realized that Tyler liked her too and nmust have told Madi that and why he liked her. I REALLY wanted to die right on the spot. Thank god the girl didn't understand what the kids were talking about so I quickly paid and ran off.
So with my very blunt children in tow I was a nervous wreck taking them to a movie. We went to see Toy Story 3, but before we went there we made a stop at CVS to get some candy. I know this is frowned upon, but please, I know I am not the only one. I paid $5 for a whole bunch of candies and you would have to pay $5 for single box at the theater. Sorry, but I feel that for a family of 4 to go to a matinee movie, with 2 large popcorns and 2 large drinks and have to spend $55 for it is a little extreme...so yeah I am bringing my own candy! Going in I was a wreck becuase I was just waiting for the kids to decide to tell everyone there that we went to CVS and she got a whole bag of bubble gum (she woke up with a dry underwear which got her any candy she wanted for the movie). So I had to explain that this was our secret and that they can't tell the movie people...Kevin had to add in that the police would come for us. Great idea, let's scare the crap out of them. That's when Tyler chimed in and said, "yeah yeah I know, uncle Tony told me that already." (Uncle Tony has taken Tyler to a movie just recently). I am happy to report though that we got in perfectly fine and ate all the popcorn and candy we went in with.
I am thinking for the next year I may not be able to take them out in fear of what may come out of their mouths...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Killing Me Softly...or well with my kids, not so soft.
It must be so hard to be 5. The need to be entertained all the time, not sure how to act in certain situations, the need for attention...all 5 year olds need a therapist. It's day 8 of school vacation...advice to all you new mom's out there..CAMP! I didn't know and didn't get them into enough of camp, it's expensive, but it will save you money in the long run, in therapy sessions alone!
These kids stick by me like a shadow. We wake up in the morning, "ok what's the plan mommy?" Preschool was great, but it has taught them to need that structure and being a working mom, sometimes having no structure IS structure! But ok fine...structure. I went and bought workbooks, crafty things, etc. what I didn't expect was for some of these projects to take less than time than I thought, so what do I do with the "extra" time?
So I have become creative. It is wicked expensive to have to take them out all the time for workshops like Plaster Fun Time, Chuck E Cheeses will only suck more money out of you, and playgrounds. Playgrounds are free, but the kids get bored of hte same equipment, so I end up driving all over creation trying to find something "fun" and that "fun" will last about 10 mins. I have found that they like to "help me". So my new creative fun is cleaning house.
We use swiffers to clean the hard wood floors and then we vacuum, dust and polish the glass tables and mirrors in the house. So much fun right?! I can't wait until they are old enough to use real cleaners and get into the real fun of doing toilets and the bathtub. So much to look forward to. What silly little people.
Now what else can we do besides playing clean house? A few times I've even had us out in the yard and I would trim down all our bushes and had the kids help me clean up, it was so much fun. My husband came home to find the bushes in the yard bare...it was pretty naked, and didn't have control of my muscles in my hands that night from all that. But at least it killed an afternoon right? ok...what else?
Well, we can venture out into public, or maybe a playdate? In either situation I always end up wanting to just melt into a heap. See when my kids get nervous they start to get diarrhea in the mouth, as I like to put it. They get nervous in public and shy and so to try and compensate and hide the nervousness, the diarrhea of the mouth kicks in. "Mommy what's that?" and point to the zit on my face that I tried to desperately hide with cover up. And I'll respond with a "it's nothing honey", and try to divert their attention. "Is it a zit mommy?" at this point I'm praying for the flames to shoot up from the floor and melt me.
Or we'd be at a playdate and the house we are at is gorgeous with more toys than a toy store, a beautiful playground and yard and the kids would climb up on my lap. I would ask, "why aren't you guys playing?" and Madi would respond "cuz this is boooring, and I'm hungry." I am so embarassed I just want to slam my head into the table. Hungry?! They JUST ate before we went over! and all those toys and a jungle gym...they are bored?!
What else can we do to entertain these kids?!? This is why I have no sympathy for Kate on Jon and Kate plus 8. Her job was to play with her kids and let people film them and they were making millions. Us normal people have to work AND play with the kids, but we are not making millions. She had nannies and all these places to take those kids, again they were actually paid to take the kids to those places. Don't be surprised if you find a mini mansion built in my backyard because of one of my great ideas to entertain the kids one day...
These kids stick by me like a shadow. We wake up in the morning, "ok what's the plan mommy?" Preschool was great, but it has taught them to need that structure and being a working mom, sometimes having no structure IS structure! But ok fine...structure. I went and bought workbooks, crafty things, etc. what I didn't expect was for some of these projects to take less than time than I thought, so what do I do with the "extra" time?
So I have become creative. It is wicked expensive to have to take them out all the time for workshops like Plaster Fun Time, Chuck E Cheeses will only suck more money out of you, and playgrounds. Playgrounds are free, but the kids get bored of hte same equipment, so I end up driving all over creation trying to find something "fun" and that "fun" will last about 10 mins. I have found that they like to "help me". So my new creative fun is cleaning house.
We use swiffers to clean the hard wood floors and then we vacuum, dust and polish the glass tables and mirrors in the house. So much fun right?! I can't wait until they are old enough to use real cleaners and get into the real fun of doing toilets and the bathtub. So much to look forward to. What silly little people.
Now what else can we do besides playing clean house? A few times I've even had us out in the yard and I would trim down all our bushes and had the kids help me clean up, it was so much fun. My husband came home to find the bushes in the yard bare...it was pretty naked, and didn't have control of my muscles in my hands that night from all that. But at least it killed an afternoon right? ok...what else?
Well, we can venture out into public, or maybe a playdate? In either situation I always end up wanting to just melt into a heap. See when my kids get nervous they start to get diarrhea in the mouth, as I like to put it. They get nervous in public and shy and so to try and compensate and hide the nervousness, the diarrhea of the mouth kicks in. "Mommy what's that?" and point to the zit on my face that I tried to desperately hide with cover up. And I'll respond with a "it's nothing honey", and try to divert their attention. "Is it a zit mommy?" at this point I'm praying for the flames to shoot up from the floor and melt me.
Or we'd be at a playdate and the house we are at is gorgeous with more toys than a toy store, a beautiful playground and yard and the kids would climb up on my lap. I would ask, "why aren't you guys playing?" and Madi would respond "cuz this is boooring, and I'm hungry." I am so embarassed I just want to slam my head into the table. Hungry?! They JUST ate before we went over! and all those toys and a jungle gym...they are bored?!
What else can we do to entertain these kids?!? This is why I have no sympathy for Kate on Jon and Kate plus 8. Her job was to play with her kids and let people film them and they were making millions. Us normal people have to work AND play with the kids, but we are not making millions. She had nannies and all these places to take those kids, again they were actually paid to take the kids to those places. Don't be surprised if you find a mini mansion built in my backyard because of one of my great ideas to entertain the kids one day...
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Who Said That?!??!
So there I was in bed with the tv on and the kids relaxing next to me. This is our little ritual before they hop into their own beds. My husband comes into the room with his laptop on and on a page for something or the other and walks by us...
"You really have to stop spending money, you spend too much money, you should save it for us to go to Disney World!"
Who said that?! It sounded like something I would say, but it wasn't me! It was Madi. The girl is like a sponge. Totally called her father out...not that she's wrong, but how hilarious. Not something I've ever said to her but she must have heard us talking and was listening without us knowing. The timing of the whole thing was fantastic, she sees him with the laptop on a screen and BAM! he must be buying something. Nothing gets past her.
The bluntness and the honesty of my daughter is wonderful. We had taken a day trip to the outlets in Maine and I had said to my husband on the drive up "I didn't want to invite my mom because she'd be making us stop constantly for the bathrooms." so we go on with our day, forgetting I had even said that in passing. We get home it's late and everyone's tired so we all go to bed. The next morning my mom calls to see how the trip had gone and when she was speaking to Madi she teased her by asking why we didn't bring her along with us. So, Madi responds by saying "because you go to the bathroom too much!" So I immediately got on the phone and had to do some damage control immediately. Oi vay!
There is no filter and she will say whatever comes to mind. Now that it's summer and hot out, my father or brother are topless at times and if you ask her for a hug she'll say, "put on a shirt first, I don't like your nipballs!" and the questions! "Why is that lady so fat?" or if we see a young child doing something that they really shouldn't be doing, my Madi will tell me this so loud that everyone within a mile radius could hear.
My favorite is when we are in an elevator. How many times have we been in this situation?! The other person in the elevator is wearing perfume or cologne so strong that you feel like passing out. My beautiful daughter would say, "Mommy, somebody STINKS in here! Who is it?!" and of course it would just be me, Madi, Tyler and the smelly person in the elevator. These are the times I treasure, cracks me up and to the stinky person...serves you right to wear something so stinky!
"You really have to stop spending money, you spend too much money, you should save it for us to go to Disney World!"
Who said that?! It sounded like something I would say, but it wasn't me! It was Madi. The girl is like a sponge. Totally called her father out...not that she's wrong, but how hilarious. Not something I've ever said to her but she must have heard us talking and was listening without us knowing. The timing of the whole thing was fantastic, she sees him with the laptop on a screen and BAM! he must be buying something. Nothing gets past her.
The bluntness and the honesty of my daughter is wonderful. We had taken a day trip to the outlets in Maine and I had said to my husband on the drive up "I didn't want to invite my mom because she'd be making us stop constantly for the bathrooms." so we go on with our day, forgetting I had even said that in passing. We get home it's late and everyone's tired so we all go to bed. The next morning my mom calls to see how the trip had gone and when she was speaking to Madi she teased her by asking why we didn't bring her along with us. So, Madi responds by saying "because you go to the bathroom too much!" So I immediately got on the phone and had to do some damage control immediately. Oi vay!
There is no filter and she will say whatever comes to mind. Now that it's summer and hot out, my father or brother are topless at times and if you ask her for a hug she'll say, "put on a shirt first, I don't like your nipballs!" and the questions! "Why is that lady so fat?" or if we see a young child doing something that they really shouldn't be doing, my Madi will tell me this so loud that everyone within a mile radius could hear.
My favorite is when we are in an elevator. How many times have we been in this situation?! The other person in the elevator is wearing perfume or cologne so strong that you feel like passing out. My beautiful daughter would say, "Mommy, somebody STINKS in here! Who is it?!" and of course it would just be me, Madi, Tyler and the smelly person in the elevator. These are the times I treasure, cracks me up and to the stinky person...serves you right to wear something so stinky!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Dying and Gone to Heaven
My twins had the pleasure of actually knowing 1 of their great grandmothers, they still have a set of great grandparents and a couple of great grand aunts. My grandmother lived fairly close to my parents and between me and my parents we would let the kids ride their little bikes over to visit their "bak bak" (great grandmother in chinese). So my twins were seeing her fairly often since birth and were fairly close to her...as close as possible for an elderly great grandmother and her great grandchildren.
So when she fell ill and was hospitalized I brought the kids to visit when it was possible. They understood that when people are very sick they go to the hospital and the doctors work very hard at making them feel better. She unfortunately never went home, she went to a rehab hospital and then back to the hospital and back again to rehab where she passed away. So then I was faced with the issue of whether or not I tell them. They were asking everyday if she was feeling better and I didn't know what to tell them or how to explain it. They were 4.5 years at this point and after much thought I decided to bring them to the wake and funeral. I know my grandmother was probably so pissed that I brought them, but I feel that it's a part of life and although 4.5 yrs is young, she was a part of their lives and for her to just disappear would not be great either.
It was obviously a very sad day, but with the kids there it just made us laugh...their curiousity I think helped to make everyone not feel as sad. So we had a wake for my grandmother and it was open casket. As we, the immediate family, lined up to enter the funeral home, and the emotions began to build up in me and tears started to fall, Tyler and Madison are wondering why everyone is crying and then they see the casket. Tyler pulls at my hand and asks, "mommy, why is bak bak in a box?!?". That made me laugh and I made me cry harder partially from the saddness and the other from my laughter.
So I explained that we were here to say good bye to Bak Bak because she is going to heaven now where she will be healthy and happy. The kids looked at me like I had lost it.
"No mommy she's RIGHT THERE!" now my brain is smoking from trying to figure out what to say to them. I was hoping they wouldn't ask questions. Then Madi asks "why is Bak Bak so red?!??!" (the funeral home did not do a great job on her make up, so yeah, she was kinda red), so I had to say it was just make up. So throughout the night they had questions and asking the same ones over and over. I had stopped answering some of them and the two of them would just discuss amongst themselves.
Madi: "what is taking so long? why are we just sitting here?"
Tyler: "ohhhh...I know we are waiting for the airplane to bring bak bak to heaven"
And this seem to have satisfied them. We got through the rest of the night and finally it was time to go home. In the car the kids were discussing "issues" again.
Tyler: "but where is Bak Bak's airplane?"
Madi: "oohhhhhh...I know. Bak Bak is going to go to heaven in her box. It's like a rocket ship, and she will blast off! into heaven"
Madison and her class were just finishing a unit on space, planets, and rockets. It's good to know that she can apply what she learns into the real world outside of school. So instead of confusing them I just let them think that yes, the box serves as a rocket ship. That's what my parents and I call a coffin now too..."I would like a shiny rocket ship when I go..."
So the next day services are finished and we go to the cemetary. We do our last rituals and then we are asked to bow our heads as the coffin is lowered into the ground. The kids try and sneak a peek, but we kept their eyes covered...or so we thought. After we get back into the cars Tyler asks, "I thought heaven is up?!"
I answered, "yes it is, past the clouds"
"No mommy, then why did Bak Bak go down?", the kid totally calls me bullshit!
"No Tyler she did not go down." I insisted.
"Mommy, I saw Bak Bak's box go down!" he stubbornly continues on.
This was when Uncle Tony saves the day.
"Tyler, do you remember when the man told us to bow our heads?" my brother reminds him.
"yes..." Tyler says.
"Well didn't you feel it?!?!? my brother asks him.
"Feel what???" Tyler asks.
"The rumbling! you didn't hear it?!? Bak Bak blast off into heaven like superman!" Tony explains. "So she's not in the box anymore!"
"ohhhhh!" and Tyler accepts this explanation. It was ok that my mouth almost started bleeding from biting my lips and the sides of my cheeks to keep from laughing.
Death is such a hard topic to explain to kids. What is really great is that with the chinese customs involved it confuses them even more! There are 2 chinese "holidays" each year where we are to go to the cemetary with offerings for our loved ones who have passed. We bring food and pastries, wines, incense, money (similar to monopoly play money), and flowers. We get there and lay everything out, burn incense and then we burn the money into a tin bucket. Burning the money into the next life where our loved ones are so they have money to spend. The kids never ask questions, thank god...but then how do I explain this...
We were at my uncle's grave and we turn around and there was another family at their family member's plot and they are doing the usual and burning incense...all of a sudden these 2 doll like figures are brought out. They are made of paper with brightly painted on faces and clothes and were about the same height as my kids if not taller...and then they stuck them in the bucket and began to burn them. There were large flames and these dolls were just burning away...OMG! I have never seen this before! Are these people freaks?! I'm thinking great how will I explain this? They didn't ask thankfully, but they stood and watched the whole thing and you can tell they didn't know what was going on...trust me, their mommy didn't either. So I asked my mother wtf was that?!? and she explained that sometimes people will burn those into the next life to serve as servants. WTF?!?
I know a lot of people would have disagreed with me on bringing the kids to the wake and funeral, and although I know there is some confusion, I am really glad I brought them. I don't want death to seem like such a secret topic...it's a fact of life. Kids have to deal with issues just as morbid and serious as death everyday, we have to warn them about strangers, why there is racism and how we deal with it, and then how about other mean children...it's a scary world we live in and I think opening up our childrens' eyes is important for them to succeed and be able to embrace life.
So when she fell ill and was hospitalized I brought the kids to visit when it was possible. They understood that when people are very sick they go to the hospital and the doctors work very hard at making them feel better. She unfortunately never went home, she went to a rehab hospital and then back to the hospital and back again to rehab where she passed away. So then I was faced with the issue of whether or not I tell them. They were asking everyday if she was feeling better and I didn't know what to tell them or how to explain it. They were 4.5 years at this point and after much thought I decided to bring them to the wake and funeral. I know my grandmother was probably so pissed that I brought them, but I feel that it's a part of life and although 4.5 yrs is young, she was a part of their lives and for her to just disappear would not be great either.
It was obviously a very sad day, but with the kids there it just made us laugh...their curiousity I think helped to make everyone not feel as sad. So we had a wake for my grandmother and it was open casket. As we, the immediate family, lined up to enter the funeral home, and the emotions began to build up in me and tears started to fall, Tyler and Madison are wondering why everyone is crying and then they see the casket. Tyler pulls at my hand and asks, "mommy, why is bak bak in a box?!?". That made me laugh and I made me cry harder partially from the saddness and the other from my laughter.
So I explained that we were here to say good bye to Bak Bak because she is going to heaven now where she will be healthy and happy. The kids looked at me like I had lost it.
"No mommy she's RIGHT THERE!" now my brain is smoking from trying to figure out what to say to them. I was hoping they wouldn't ask questions. Then Madi asks "why is Bak Bak so red?!??!" (the funeral home did not do a great job on her make up, so yeah, she was kinda red), so I had to say it was just make up. So throughout the night they had questions and asking the same ones over and over. I had stopped answering some of them and the two of them would just discuss amongst themselves.
Madi: "what is taking so long? why are we just sitting here?"
Tyler: "ohhhh...I know we are waiting for the airplane to bring bak bak to heaven"
And this seem to have satisfied them. We got through the rest of the night and finally it was time to go home. In the car the kids were discussing "issues" again.
Tyler: "but where is Bak Bak's airplane?"
Madi: "oohhhhhh...I know. Bak Bak is going to go to heaven in her box. It's like a rocket ship, and she will blast off! into heaven"
Madison and her class were just finishing a unit on space, planets, and rockets. It's good to know that she can apply what she learns into the real world outside of school. So instead of confusing them I just let them think that yes, the box serves as a rocket ship. That's what my parents and I call a coffin now too..."I would like a shiny rocket ship when I go..."
So the next day services are finished and we go to the cemetary. We do our last rituals and then we are asked to bow our heads as the coffin is lowered into the ground. The kids try and sneak a peek, but we kept their eyes covered...or so we thought. After we get back into the cars Tyler asks, "I thought heaven is up?!"
I answered, "yes it is, past the clouds"
"No mommy, then why did Bak Bak go down?", the kid totally calls me bullshit!
"No Tyler she did not go down." I insisted.
"Mommy, I saw Bak Bak's box go down!" he stubbornly continues on.
This was when Uncle Tony saves the day.
"Tyler, do you remember when the man told us to bow our heads?" my brother reminds him.
"yes..." Tyler says.
"Well didn't you feel it?!?!? my brother asks him.
"Feel what???" Tyler asks.
"The rumbling! you didn't hear it?!? Bak Bak blast off into heaven like superman!" Tony explains. "So she's not in the box anymore!"
"ohhhhh!" and Tyler accepts this explanation. It was ok that my mouth almost started bleeding from biting my lips and the sides of my cheeks to keep from laughing.
Death is such a hard topic to explain to kids. What is really great is that with the chinese customs involved it confuses them even more! There are 2 chinese "holidays" each year where we are to go to the cemetary with offerings for our loved ones who have passed. We bring food and pastries, wines, incense, money (similar to monopoly play money), and flowers. We get there and lay everything out, burn incense and then we burn the money into a tin bucket. Burning the money into the next life where our loved ones are so they have money to spend. The kids never ask questions, thank god...but then how do I explain this...
We were at my uncle's grave and we turn around and there was another family at their family member's plot and they are doing the usual and burning incense...all of a sudden these 2 doll like figures are brought out. They are made of paper with brightly painted on faces and clothes and were about the same height as my kids if not taller...and then they stuck them in the bucket and began to burn them. There were large flames and these dolls were just burning away...OMG! I have never seen this before! Are these people freaks?! I'm thinking great how will I explain this? They didn't ask thankfully, but they stood and watched the whole thing and you can tell they didn't know what was going on...trust me, their mommy didn't either. So I asked my mother wtf was that?!? and she explained that sometimes people will burn those into the next life to serve as servants. WTF?!?
I know a lot of people would have disagreed with me on bringing the kids to the wake and funeral, and although I know there is some confusion, I am really glad I brought them. I don't want death to seem like such a secret topic...it's a fact of life. Kids have to deal with issues just as morbid and serious as death everyday, we have to warn them about strangers, why there is racism and how we deal with it, and then how about other mean children...it's a scary world we live in and I think opening up our childrens' eyes is important for them to succeed and be able to embrace life.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Roommate
Ok so those of you who are always googlie-eyed over your husbands please take your rosey glasses off. I find that being married and having a husband is pretty overrated. And yes, I am bitter! Don't tell me this doesn't happen to you...
Here's the scenario: You've had a hard day at work (whether or not you work from home doesn't matter) but you still had to juggle your kids' schedule...oh and did I mention the load of laundry you have to do because your kids are about to have to do the reversible underwear trick? The kids have not been cooperating, but finally they are involved in some activity. You're not really quite sure what, but there are no sharp objects, nothing poisonous, and there doesn't seem to be any blood so you move on. Get whatever work you left hanging because you had to pick the kids up and then start dinner. God forbid dinner is not ready and even if not for him, the kids need to eat! Then he comes home and throws a hissy fit. Why is the house such a mess?!? Are you not paying attention to what they are doing?!
Stop! Right there is when I seriously would not mind commiting murder. I could probably claim temporary insanity because you know what? I WAS INSANE! He then goes on and asks, "what have you guys been doing all day?!?!" That's when I would have gone for the juggular. To avoid any fights I swallow all the words I want to say...and that's a lot of words, so I stay quiet. What I really wanted to say is "Nothing asswipe, I've been sitting at home on my fat ass eating bon bons while these children, who I'd like to remind you are your offsprings too and carry your name!" Then he'll say "you left them alone while you made phone calls didn't you?!?!" and you know what? That would be a partial yes. They weren't alone, they were playing in the playroom and I made a call to a client...aka: working.
He has now earned the title of Roommate. No longer husband. When I hear women say things like "oh, he misses the attention you used to give him," that makes my blood boil. Is he a dog? What about me as a mother? What about the attention I used to be able to give MYSELF?! He vacuums every Sunday, and he acts like he was asked to build an entire compound in one day! And he bitches about it. Tells us how hard we make it for him because the house is a mess. Am I suppose to APOLOGIZE?!?! Is he serious?!? I just want to turn on the vacuum and suck HIM right up and toss.
My favorite was when my grandmother, may she rest in peace, used to announce to people when we were at a family gathering how competent and great he is. Takes such great care of the family. I was only standing right there. Or she would just tell him to his face with me right there. Now I understand it's a different generation, different mindset...but how irritating! Whenever this used to happen I wanted to turn to him and bow and just thank him profusely for "taking" me in and "giving" me these beautiful children and a home to live him. I mean I should right? I mean I sit at him shoving my face with food watching every soap there is while he's out working so hard to provide for me.
When I rule the world, there will be no marriages until AFTER you have kids. THAT'S when you see the true colors...true colors of your husband, and the...dun dun dunnnnnn....MOTHER IN LAW. And that's another entry on it's own. It needs to be treated delicately which is why I have not shared my thoughts yet...
Here's the scenario: You've had a hard day at work (whether or not you work from home doesn't matter) but you still had to juggle your kids' schedule...oh and did I mention the load of laundry you have to do because your kids are about to have to do the reversible underwear trick? The kids have not been cooperating, but finally they are involved in some activity. You're not really quite sure what, but there are no sharp objects, nothing poisonous, and there doesn't seem to be any blood so you move on. Get whatever work you left hanging because you had to pick the kids up and then start dinner. God forbid dinner is not ready and even if not for him, the kids need to eat! Then he comes home and throws a hissy fit. Why is the house such a mess?!? Are you not paying attention to what they are doing?!
Stop! Right there is when I seriously would not mind commiting murder. I could probably claim temporary insanity because you know what? I WAS INSANE! He then goes on and asks, "what have you guys been doing all day?!?!" That's when I would have gone for the juggular. To avoid any fights I swallow all the words I want to say...and that's a lot of words, so I stay quiet. What I really wanted to say is "Nothing asswipe, I've been sitting at home on my fat ass eating bon bons while these children, who I'd like to remind you are your offsprings too and carry your name!" Then he'll say "you left them alone while you made phone calls didn't you?!?!" and you know what? That would be a partial yes. They weren't alone, they were playing in the playroom and I made a call to a client...aka: working.
He has now earned the title of Roommate. No longer husband. When I hear women say things like "oh, he misses the attention you used to give him," that makes my blood boil. Is he a dog? What about me as a mother? What about the attention I used to be able to give MYSELF?! He vacuums every Sunday, and he acts like he was asked to build an entire compound in one day! And he bitches about it. Tells us how hard we make it for him because the house is a mess. Am I suppose to APOLOGIZE?!?! Is he serious?!? I just want to turn on the vacuum and suck HIM right up and toss.
My favorite was when my grandmother, may she rest in peace, used to announce to people when we were at a family gathering how competent and great he is. Takes such great care of the family. I was only standing right there. Or she would just tell him to his face with me right there. Now I understand it's a different generation, different mindset...but how irritating! Whenever this used to happen I wanted to turn to him and bow and just thank him profusely for "taking" me in and "giving" me these beautiful children and a home to live him. I mean I should right? I mean I sit at him shoving my face with food watching every soap there is while he's out working so hard to provide for me.
When I rule the world, there will be no marriages until AFTER you have kids. THAT'S when you see the true colors...true colors of your husband, and the...dun dun dunnnnnn....MOTHER IN LAW. And that's another entry on it's own. It needs to be treated delicately which is why I have not shared my thoughts yet...
no...no....NO!
So it's been quite the crazy week, even crazier than normal with all the end of year activities and then those activities from the week before postponed until this week due to weather, so end of the year has just been dragging on and on and on...let's put it to rest already!
Tomorrow is the last day of school. Not just the last day of school, but the last day of Preschool. As I'm driving down the street taking my little cherubs to school and Madi is listening to Big Time Rush for 457th time for the day and Tyler bitching about it I'm thinking my babies are going to Kindergarten! Will I cry? I will certainly miss their teachers, I know they are safe there, these are my babies ya know!? And even though all the commotion was going on in the back seat of Tyler bitching at Madi and Madi belting out Big Time Rush tunes I wasn't bothered.
THEN it hit me, Tyler is so po'd, he's just ready to kill her. Why?!
"Why are you so mad Tyler? What happened?" I asked.
"Madi keep looking at meeeee!" he reports.
And to piss him off even more she sits and just stares knowing he's not liking this. And so he retaliates and stares back.
"Don't look at ME!!!" yells Madi.
"HA HA" answers Tyler
That's when I took control like a mad woman and scream, "Don't look at each other! Don't talk to each other! Look out your own windows."
After tomorrow the kids will be home for the whole month of July before 2 weeks of camp in August. Will I survive? What time does the liquor store open??? Ok, so I shouldn't drink since I'll be their caretaker, how about them? Can THEY drink so they pass out? how does one entertain 2 5 year olds??? I miss those days when I leave them on an activity mat and they just stare and laugh at the stupid star that lights up and plays music...although I do hate that song now and cringe when I hear it. Is that song worse or Big Time Rush?!
And then how am I going to deal when one wants to play outside and the other wants to stay in? How about if they both stay in and I go outside?! Or when Madi criticizes Tyler's artwork? "Um, Tylah, that's not good coloring you didn't stay in the lines" and then Tyler does retaliate by saying "wuteva", but then it eats him up until he explodes and then we end up in a tantrum. I am so excited for these priceless days with my little bundles of joy.
There are only 2 of them and they should be overjoyed that they have a companion, someone to talk to and to play with...what is the problem? I'm starting to hear my mother talking through my body and it's making me a little bit ill. I will never admit to it, but she was right all those years my brother and I fought. But these guys are twins! There should be a bond between them, they are suppose to at least LIKE each other!
I really think even a vat of Calgon won't help me this summer...
Tomorrow is the last day of school. Not just the last day of school, but the last day of Preschool. As I'm driving down the street taking my little cherubs to school and Madi is listening to Big Time Rush for 457th time for the day and Tyler bitching about it I'm thinking my babies are going to Kindergarten! Will I cry? I will certainly miss their teachers, I know they are safe there, these are my babies ya know!? And even though all the commotion was going on in the back seat of Tyler bitching at Madi and Madi belting out Big Time Rush tunes I wasn't bothered.
THEN it hit me, Tyler is so po'd, he's just ready to kill her. Why?!
"Why are you so mad Tyler? What happened?" I asked.
"Madi keep looking at meeeee!" he reports.
And to piss him off even more she sits and just stares knowing he's not liking this. And so he retaliates and stares back.
"Don't look at ME!!!" yells Madi.
"HA HA" answers Tyler
That's when I took control like a mad woman and scream, "Don't look at each other! Don't talk to each other! Look out your own windows."
After tomorrow the kids will be home for the whole month of July before 2 weeks of camp in August. Will I survive? What time does the liquor store open??? Ok, so I shouldn't drink since I'll be their caretaker, how about them? Can THEY drink so they pass out? how does one entertain 2 5 year olds??? I miss those days when I leave them on an activity mat and they just stare and laugh at the stupid star that lights up and plays music...although I do hate that song now and cringe when I hear it. Is that song worse or Big Time Rush?!
And then how am I going to deal when one wants to play outside and the other wants to stay in? How about if they both stay in and I go outside?! Or when Madi criticizes Tyler's artwork? "Um, Tylah, that's not good coloring you didn't stay in the lines" and then Tyler does retaliate by saying "wuteva", but then it eats him up until he explodes and then we end up in a tantrum. I am so excited for these priceless days with my little bundles of joy.
There are only 2 of them and they should be overjoyed that they have a companion, someone to talk to and to play with...what is the problem? I'm starting to hear my mother talking through my body and it's making me a little bit ill. I will never admit to it, but she was right all those years my brother and I fought. But these guys are twins! There should be a bond between them, they are suppose to at least LIKE each other!
I really think even a vat of Calgon won't help me this summer...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Our "Garden"
I realized for the past 2 years now that kids in this age group really do like to do adult things. "Helping" me do chores around the house makes them happy and they really like to "grow" things in the yard. Nevermind that it takes me double the time to clean the house even with 2 extra sets of hands, but it keeps them busy and not fighting so we do it. A garden...maybe that will be a great project for us...
So that's when I said "Ok, we will start a garden." I thought, how hard could this be? There's dirt in the ground already, step 1 done. Then I just shove some seeds in there, step 2 done. And add water and watch it grow! This will be a cinch and I'll be saving money by not having the landscaper do it, sorry Frank. And my life as a "gardener" begins...
So the first year I bought some annuals and put them in a planter, it was a really big planter so we had to buy extra dirt and I had the kids scoop all the dirt into the planter, took a while and kept them busy. Then I put the flowers in and BAM! How beautiful! The kids stood back and admired their work and they both were so excited to have "pwanted the bootiful fowers." So sweet. We would water it and watch it grow and admire it whenever we left the house and came home (it was at the front door). Then I noticed, boy the plants aren't looking so hot anymore why? Oh only because they were drowning...argh! The planter did not have holes in the bottom to drain so it was just not going anywhere. Note to self, be sure to plant stuff in pots with holes.
Now in the back yard we planted a bunch of stuff that would just eventually shrivel up into a brown pathetic little thing once it realized that they are no longer safe with someone who knows how to care for them, but they were not at the my house where theya re guaranteed to die. What's more sad are my kids! They didn't realize that the shriveling up and turning brown so early on in the game was not a good thing and bless their little hearts they would still get so excited..."Mommy! Look at the fowers growing!!!" and I would have to play along, "I know! You guys did such a great job planting them" and they both go off running so excited to tell someone who would listen. The poor things...admiring their dead plants. So I gave up for the rest of that year.
Now THIS year was going to be different. See that last year we had also planted some phlox and those grow under ANY condition! You can't kill them...so you think! So this year I was expecting a whole patch of phlox to bloom and some daylilies to grow back and bloom. Here we are, mid-June and NOTHING is blooming. So I drive through the streets and looking at homes and their landscaping and EVERYONE else is not only blooming, but their plantings look like explosions of colors! Then I come home to my brown pathetic looking things.
We also tried planting strawberries. I got some bulbs and the kids dug up holes and uh oh....which end of the bulb is up? So after consulting the kids we just decided to throw them in and hope for the best. After a few days, there was nothing obviously, then a couple of weeks go by and still nothing...but some weeds. "OMG! The strawberries are growing!!!" My precious babies think that we have managed to grow strawberries, how do I tell them that no there are no strawberries coming out of there? So I pray that they forget and so I divert their attentions to something else. Tomatoes. So now I have 2 tomatoe plants and they are still green. That's all I can ask for. Tyler brought home a beautiful bean plant they started to grow in school, now yellow. Is my thumb really THAT black? My poor children just wants to be able to grow something in our yard...please help me goddess of gardens!!!
As I pray that something grows so I can see the my kids' excited little faces I look out the window into my yard...and there's a dead bird in front of my window. Oi vay!
So that's when I said "Ok, we will start a garden." I thought, how hard could this be? There's dirt in the ground already, step 1 done. Then I just shove some seeds in there, step 2 done. And add water and watch it grow! This will be a cinch and I'll be saving money by not having the landscaper do it, sorry Frank. And my life as a "gardener" begins...
So the first year I bought some annuals and put them in a planter, it was a really big planter so we had to buy extra dirt and I had the kids scoop all the dirt into the planter, took a while and kept them busy. Then I put the flowers in and BAM! How beautiful! The kids stood back and admired their work and they both were so excited to have "pwanted the bootiful fowers." So sweet. We would water it and watch it grow and admire it whenever we left the house and came home (it was at the front door). Then I noticed, boy the plants aren't looking so hot anymore why? Oh only because they were drowning...argh! The planter did not have holes in the bottom to drain so it was just not going anywhere. Note to self, be sure to plant stuff in pots with holes.
Now in the back yard we planted a bunch of stuff that would just eventually shrivel up into a brown pathetic little thing once it realized that they are no longer safe with someone who knows how to care for them, but they were not at the my house where theya re guaranteed to die. What's more sad are my kids! They didn't realize that the shriveling up and turning brown so early on in the game was not a good thing and bless their little hearts they would still get so excited..."Mommy! Look at the fowers growing!!!" and I would have to play along, "I know! You guys did such a great job planting them" and they both go off running so excited to tell someone who would listen. The poor things...admiring their dead plants. So I gave up for the rest of that year.
Now THIS year was going to be different. See that last year we had also planted some phlox and those grow under ANY condition! You can't kill them...so you think! So this year I was expecting a whole patch of phlox to bloom and some daylilies to grow back and bloom. Here we are, mid-June and NOTHING is blooming. So I drive through the streets and looking at homes and their landscaping and EVERYONE else is not only blooming, but their plantings look like explosions of colors! Then I come home to my brown pathetic looking things.
We also tried planting strawberries. I got some bulbs and the kids dug up holes and uh oh....which end of the bulb is up? So after consulting the kids we just decided to throw them in and hope for the best. After a few days, there was nothing obviously, then a couple of weeks go by and still nothing...but some weeds. "OMG! The strawberries are growing!!!" My precious babies think that we have managed to grow strawberries, how do I tell them that no there are no strawberries coming out of there? So I pray that they forget and so I divert their attentions to something else. Tomatoes. So now I have 2 tomatoe plants and they are still green. That's all I can ask for. Tyler brought home a beautiful bean plant they started to grow in school, now yellow. Is my thumb really THAT black? My poor children just wants to be able to grow something in our yard...please help me goddess of gardens!!!
As I pray that something grows so I can see the my kids' excited little faces I look out the window into my yard...and there's a dead bird in front of my window. Oi vay!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Someone Cute Must Be Around...
I'm really not sure how I'm suppose to react to these things. I mean it's really cute, but then it's also so embarassing. I am talking about flirting. Not ME...but my kids and the way they are affected by the opposite sex.
So we have Tyler, my manly 5 year old womanizer. He's always been fascinated by breasts as are all the other little kids in this world, normal. But then he takes it a step further. This school year he has taking a liking to older women...I mean he 5 and she 25! At first it was cute. He had a huge crush on Madi's teacher, whom we shall name Abby. She was #1 gal, then we had....let's name her Betsy, and last but not least, Cindy. So he comes home and tells me he has 3 girlfriends and tells me their names. So I go to school to see who these little girls are...well I knew about Abby, then I find out the other 2 are assistant teachers of his! All VERY pretty and a bit younger than me, but MUCH older than him. OMG, my future daughter in law will probably be my age!!!
One day Abby scolds Tyler and so he dumped her. So now we have 2 girlfriends, probably a good thing because I could not keep up. My son not only thinks they are his girlfriends, but he is a stalker! There has been many instances in the hallway and we'll hear their voices and he would know it's them and "hide" in the hallway to watch out for them, or if they are around, he'll hide in a corner and watch them. But see this isn't even THAT embarassing, does he really know what attraction really is? I mean it's normal to have crushes on your teachers and maybe they just happen to be cute...
Or not. So there has been a few instances that I didn't even realize what was up until now and I'm piecing together the puzzle to his oddities. A couple that sticks out just makes me laugh so hard. We were at the Ralph Lauren Store in Maine and I go to purchase my items, I wait in line and the kids were being silly, but the silliness seem to have intensified and it's mostly Tyler doing some crazy antic that is making Madison laugh so hard. I didn't think anything of it, so when it was my turn I go to the girl and give her my items and the whole time Tyler is going back and forth behind me doing crazy little dances, singing songs, etc. After I paid and walked off, he's STILL there and the girl is now laughing and watching him, that's when it hit me. My son was actually trying to flirt with her! And Madi knew it! He must have told her that he thought that "she is gorgeous" (all his girlfriends and girls of interest are gorgeous to him) so she's watching all this and laughing. I stood there watching him...he's 5 and making a fool of himself for a girl...this is cute when you are 5...but I hope he has better moves when he's 35! A 35 year old man doing what he does will NOT be cute!
Then last night we were at the mall, and now I'm starting to get use to this kind of behavior, so I could hear him behind me acting up again. I turned to my husband and asked, "is there a pretty girl around?" His answer. "YUP! He's doing it again" OMG Tyler! Does it not matter that your mother is right here watching?!?!? The funny thing is that it works...everytime. The girl whose attention he is trying to get gives it to him everytime. And that would just make his day. oh boy kid...hope the act improves or he'll be disappoint when he reaches 7 or 8.
Now my Madi takes a more subtle approach...well in public anyways. Madison actually started having crushes on little boys when she was 4. Her first love, well that I knew of, was Luke. She was just a rookie at this back then, she would admire him from afar and played with him at school, but the minute the doors open she doesn't talk to them or even look at them...directly. Then summer camp ended and Luke was yesterday's news. This school year started and she fell in love with Andre. Andre with his dreamy eyes, now this kid will break some hearts by the time he's 9! This time it's a little different, Andre was friends with Tyler first. Although still shy she was a little more open to talking to Andre after the school doors open. His mother and I actually took them all out to lunch one day and oh boy did they have a blast. First "date" with a boy...and her brother, but she was not too nervous to eat as she had gobbled up her lunch. Hmmm....must be the new thing of the new millenium...so anyways, I took the 3 of them to the playground for a picnic one day and the 3 of them climbed into my car and I got in and was immediately ordered to put on Taylor Swift and my daughter started to sing to this boy!!! All the while giggling away from nervousness. I bet Andre was thinking holy cow! where is my mother?!? I'm stuck in this car with these chinese people and she's serenading me with Taylor Swift...argh!!!
Poor Andre. But then he was sort of "released" and that is when Danny came into the picture. Her new boy toy. So apparently she has this poor little boy wrapped around her fingers. I was told that in school if she snapped he'd come running...well that's the way it should be...right?! But right when I thought, "nice! my daughter won't let any boy run HER life", it happened. We were at TBall and it started to rain. The kids still played on and she was engaged with playing catch, so how in the hell did she notice Danny walking across the field?!?! She was then so mesmerized by him I was really scared someone was going to hit her with the ball...the girl was gone! Now this part is a new reaction from her. She immediately was giddy and jumping around and was happier than a pig in shit. One of the mom's even said "wow, I don't think I've ever seen her half this excited at tball!" and so I pointed out that flavor of the month was nearby. I could not believe that this boy could have such an affect on my baby girl. Note to self, need to explain the need to play it cool...with both my kids!
So, I'm thinking if they are starting this at 5, we are in for a LONG LONG journey and the bars will have to go up on the windows sooner than I thought.
So we have Tyler, my manly 5 year old womanizer. He's always been fascinated by breasts as are all the other little kids in this world, normal. But then he takes it a step further. This school year he has taking a liking to older women...I mean he 5 and she 25! At first it was cute. He had a huge crush on Madi's teacher, whom we shall name Abby. She was #1 gal, then we had....let's name her Betsy, and last but not least, Cindy. So he comes home and tells me he has 3 girlfriends and tells me their names. So I go to school to see who these little girls are...well I knew about Abby, then I find out the other 2 are assistant teachers of his! All VERY pretty and a bit younger than me, but MUCH older than him. OMG, my future daughter in law will probably be my age!!!
One day Abby scolds Tyler and so he dumped her. So now we have 2 girlfriends, probably a good thing because I could not keep up. My son not only thinks they are his girlfriends, but he is a stalker! There has been many instances in the hallway and we'll hear their voices and he would know it's them and "hide" in the hallway to watch out for them, or if they are around, he'll hide in a corner and watch them. But see this isn't even THAT embarassing, does he really know what attraction really is? I mean it's normal to have crushes on your teachers and maybe they just happen to be cute...
Or not. So there has been a few instances that I didn't even realize what was up until now and I'm piecing together the puzzle to his oddities. A couple that sticks out just makes me laugh so hard. We were at the Ralph Lauren Store in Maine and I go to purchase my items, I wait in line and the kids were being silly, but the silliness seem to have intensified and it's mostly Tyler doing some crazy antic that is making Madison laugh so hard. I didn't think anything of it, so when it was my turn I go to the girl and give her my items and the whole time Tyler is going back and forth behind me doing crazy little dances, singing songs, etc. After I paid and walked off, he's STILL there and the girl is now laughing and watching him, that's when it hit me. My son was actually trying to flirt with her! And Madi knew it! He must have told her that he thought that "she is gorgeous" (all his girlfriends and girls of interest are gorgeous to him) so she's watching all this and laughing. I stood there watching him...he's 5 and making a fool of himself for a girl...this is cute when you are 5...but I hope he has better moves when he's 35! A 35 year old man doing what he does will NOT be cute!
Then last night we were at the mall, and now I'm starting to get use to this kind of behavior, so I could hear him behind me acting up again. I turned to my husband and asked, "is there a pretty girl around?" His answer. "YUP! He's doing it again" OMG Tyler! Does it not matter that your mother is right here watching?!?!? The funny thing is that it works...everytime. The girl whose attention he is trying to get gives it to him everytime. And that would just make his day. oh boy kid...hope the act improves or he'll be disappoint when he reaches 7 or 8.
Now my Madi takes a more subtle approach...well in public anyways. Madison actually started having crushes on little boys when she was 4. Her first love, well that I knew of, was Luke. She was just a rookie at this back then, she would admire him from afar and played with him at school, but the minute the doors open she doesn't talk to them or even look at them...directly. Then summer camp ended and Luke was yesterday's news. This school year started and she fell in love with Andre. Andre with his dreamy eyes, now this kid will break some hearts by the time he's 9! This time it's a little different, Andre was friends with Tyler first. Although still shy she was a little more open to talking to Andre after the school doors open. His mother and I actually took them all out to lunch one day and oh boy did they have a blast. First "date" with a boy...and her brother, but she was not too nervous to eat as she had gobbled up her lunch. Hmmm....must be the new thing of the new millenium...so anyways, I took the 3 of them to the playground for a picnic one day and the 3 of them climbed into my car and I got in and was immediately ordered to put on Taylor Swift and my daughter started to sing to this boy!!! All the while giggling away from nervousness. I bet Andre was thinking holy cow! where is my mother?!? I'm stuck in this car with these chinese people and she's serenading me with Taylor Swift...argh!!!
Poor Andre. But then he was sort of "released" and that is when Danny came into the picture. Her new boy toy. So apparently she has this poor little boy wrapped around her fingers. I was told that in school if she snapped he'd come running...well that's the way it should be...right?! But right when I thought, "nice! my daughter won't let any boy run HER life", it happened. We were at TBall and it started to rain. The kids still played on and she was engaged with playing catch, so how in the hell did she notice Danny walking across the field?!?! She was then so mesmerized by him I was really scared someone was going to hit her with the ball...the girl was gone! Now this part is a new reaction from her. She immediately was giddy and jumping around and was happier than a pig in shit. One of the mom's even said "wow, I don't think I've ever seen her half this excited at tball!" and so I pointed out that flavor of the month was nearby. I could not believe that this boy could have such an affect on my baby girl. Note to self, need to explain the need to play it cool...with both my kids!
So, I'm thinking if they are starting this at 5, we are in for a LONG LONG journey and the bars will have to go up on the windows sooner than I thought.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Hello! Tball not World Series...
It's always interesting to watch kids "play" a sport, but it's even more interesting and entertaining to watch how the parents react. And maybe I'm more relaxed about because I have 2 kids and 1 of 2 being athletic isn't bad right?! Tyler has amazing skills for a 5 year old...Madi, not so much. BUT she looks great standing there pretending.
We just finished our very first season of Tball. How entertaining was that?! We had parents who didn't really care and just wanted their kid to do something and get out of their hair, then you have parents like myself who cares, but I'm not going to slice my wrist if my kids can't hit the ball, and then you have the REALLY fun people...those who just wants their kid to be amazing so badly.
When we first got there my kids' gloves barely fit, poor Tyler couldn't catch the balls because the balls were bigger than his glove and Madi, well Madi's was pink it she looked awfully cute standing there praying the ball didn't go to her, not that it matter if it did because this girl was NOT going to move. So we upgraded Tyler's glove and then eventually got them a helmet because I was not too keen on the kids getting lice from sharing those helmets. ewwww. Eventually we did get him his own bat and an equipment bag to put all this stuff into which makes it easier for me. And all the other kids started getting new stuff too, it's really cute when they get into, but not so cute when the parents are more into it. Some kids started to show up with batting gloves...but barely even knew how to hold the bat...but they did know which was the bat! Phew!
A whole 6 weeks of watching my kids learn to play the game and they have both done so well. Tyler can hit pitches, catch balls (even pop ups!), and throw the ball. Madi can hit a pitched ball, throw the ball now and "catch" the ball. Although "catching" the ball is really the thrower having good aim because you have to throw it right into her glove rather than her catching it. Whatever works! She would stand there and the ball would be hit and rolls right by her...instead of running to get it, ALL of her teammates are running for the ball and Madi actually moves aside so they can get it. Or if she's in a good mood, you'll see her standing there and actually dancing. My daughter....I don't think there is a career for her in softball...oh well!
Now for the pain. It is painful watching those parents who are upset that their son ( I don't see this with the daughters...actually not many girls playing.) for not playing right. You have the Dad who are standing there and yelling out orders to their kid and not necessarily supporting them. And when it's time to bat, he'll stand right there and walks his son up to the plate and the whole time reminding him, "remember how we did this at home, hold your elbow up, make sure you swing straight..." and when he doesn't hit a pitched ball and we have to use the...gulp!...T stand...oh no! all chances of this poor kid's manlyhood is gone (in his dad's eyes). You can almost hear the father screaming "no! not my kid! he CAN hit the ball!!!! he can!!!!". And the time he does actually hit the ball well then! the chest gets all inflated and sticks right out. What a man HE is for fathering this boy who just hit the ball. These poor kids. It's a game. And they are 5!!! Can we please give them a break?!??!
What's worse is that some of these types of Dad actually coaches the team. So there we were, tornado watches were issued, severe storms were forecasted, but "Mona, we'd still like to get the game in if possible." Is he serious?!?! These kids are 5! It's Tball! "We'd like to get them game in" is he for real? It took everything within me to not tell him what I really thought. Wished him luck with his team but we are cancelling the game. Is it the end of the world if we god forbid cancelled a game? good god! These kids are so young and before we teach them to be competitive lets just let them be kids and enjoy themselves...T or no T!
We just finished our very first season of Tball. How entertaining was that?! We had parents who didn't really care and just wanted their kid to do something and get out of their hair, then you have parents like myself who cares, but I'm not going to slice my wrist if my kids can't hit the ball, and then you have the REALLY fun people...those who just wants their kid to be amazing so badly.
When we first got there my kids' gloves barely fit, poor Tyler couldn't catch the balls because the balls were bigger than his glove and Madi, well Madi's was pink it she looked awfully cute standing there praying the ball didn't go to her, not that it matter if it did because this girl was NOT going to move. So we upgraded Tyler's glove and then eventually got them a helmet because I was not too keen on the kids getting lice from sharing those helmets. ewwww. Eventually we did get him his own bat and an equipment bag to put all this stuff into which makes it easier for me. And all the other kids started getting new stuff too, it's really cute when they get into, but not so cute when the parents are more into it. Some kids started to show up with batting gloves...but barely even knew how to hold the bat...but they did know which was the bat! Phew!
A whole 6 weeks of watching my kids learn to play the game and they have both done so well. Tyler can hit pitches, catch balls (even pop ups!), and throw the ball. Madi can hit a pitched ball, throw the ball now and "catch" the ball. Although "catching" the ball is really the thrower having good aim because you have to throw it right into her glove rather than her catching it. Whatever works! She would stand there and the ball would be hit and rolls right by her...instead of running to get it, ALL of her teammates are running for the ball and Madi actually moves aside so they can get it. Or if she's in a good mood, you'll see her standing there and actually dancing. My daughter....I don't think there is a career for her in softball...oh well!
Now for the pain. It is painful watching those parents who are upset that their son ( I don't see this with the daughters...actually not many girls playing.) for not playing right. You have the Dad who are standing there and yelling out orders to their kid and not necessarily supporting them. And when it's time to bat, he'll stand right there and walks his son up to the plate and the whole time reminding him, "remember how we did this at home, hold your elbow up, make sure you swing straight..." and when he doesn't hit a pitched ball and we have to use the...gulp!...T stand...oh no! all chances of this poor kid's manlyhood is gone (in his dad's eyes). You can almost hear the father screaming "no! not my kid! he CAN hit the ball!!!! he can!!!!". And the time he does actually hit the ball well then! the chest gets all inflated and sticks right out. What a man HE is for fathering this boy who just hit the ball. These poor kids. It's a game. And they are 5!!! Can we please give them a break?!??!
What's worse is that some of these types of Dad actually coaches the team. So there we were, tornado watches were issued, severe storms were forecasted, but "Mona, we'd still like to get the game in if possible." Is he serious?!?! These kids are 5! It's Tball! "We'd like to get them game in" is he for real? It took everything within me to not tell him what I really thought. Wished him luck with his team but we are cancelling the game. Is it the end of the world if we god forbid cancelled a game? good god! These kids are so young and before we teach them to be competitive lets just let them be kids and enjoy themselves...T or no T!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Social Anxieties
Social anxieties...it has made me go gray and numb.
Madi who is our in house dictator runs her mouth at home like you wouldn't believe. She tells us what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Not that any of us comply with her demands, but that doesn't stop her from giving them. However, take her out of the home and she "transforms." That's when I just want to die.
See Madison has a lot of social anxieties and we believe it stems from her speech delay and we believe her inability to communicate as well when she was younger has resulted in the lack of confidence in a new setting. And yes we understand the whole psychological aspect of this and yada yada yada, but bottomline is that my daughter turns into a monster.
Did I not want to kill myself when we went to Chloe's birthday party at the gym. I didn't know all the parents there so I too was in a new situation. Madison was all excited that morning and got dressed and finally it was time to go. She tells Tyler that she'll be back shortly and climbs into the car, what a sweet angel. Then as we pull into the parking lot she starts..."I want to go home." GAWD! Here we go again!!! "Madi, all your friends are here and it will be fun, AND there will be cake!" "NO! I don't want to go!!!" This is where I would have to wrestle her out of the car and we walk into the gym. She enters and we drop off the gift and everyone is saying hi to Madi and everyone's nice, parents are introducing themselves...and Madi screams, "I want to go home!" and begins to kick and scream. KILL ME NOW! But then we were saved by her flavor of the month at the time. Phew!
This sets off a bunch of emails with her teacher which resulted in the following advice...write a social story before each party or new setting we are taking her to. Are you serious?!?! I have time to write a flipping story before I take her out of the house?!? Is it the water? Global warming?! Cuz I know my parents didn't have to do stuff like this with me and I never heard of this until now. Oi vay! But ok, I will give it a try.
I knew we had a dentist visit coming up so I sat down and wrote a story about going to the dentist and getting her teach cleaned...my eyes were killing me afterwards because I was rolling them so much as I was doing this. So I read her the story when we were done and we read it for a few days in preparation. And then it was that day.
We get in the car and talked about what was going to happen and that it doesn't hurt, it's just like brushing your teeth with a cool toothbrush. Great, everyone is cooperating. We walk in the office and she starts...and I seriously wanted her to punch me out.
"I hate it here! I want to go home! This stinks!" and then she begins to punch and kick the walls!!! All I wanted to do was ram MY head into the wall at this point, and right when I thought it couldn't get worse, it was my turn to check them in. Madi turns to the receptionist points her little finger in the receptionist's face and says "I don't like you!!!" OMG!!!! Now I'm apologizing profusely and she's very nice and understanding...thank god. And Madi kept going with the punching and kicking of the walls. I really thought they were going to kick us out unless they wanted that wall down anyways. So I finally shut her up and calmed her down...and it was our turn. But this time I smartened up. I told the nurse that if SHE said something to Madi that it would be more effective and she did and Madi actually did stop. Amen! We did manage to do what we needed to do and left without totally remodeling their office with Madi's bare hands and feet.
Now that she is 5 my days of wanting to die on the spot has not subsided, but for some different reasons. Don't get me wrong, she still has the anxieties and hopefully by the time she's 35 she won't be kicking down walls anymore. Kindergarten registration was a nightmare. There we were in the middle of the lobby, all these little 4 and 5 year olds all excited for kindergarten and parents around...so these are families who actually live in our neighborhood. All of a sudden Madi screams out "THIS SCHOOL STIIIIIIINKSSSSSSSSSSS!" Can you say holy shit just kill me?!?!? So it hasn't gotten much better....but her speech has definitely picked up. So her confidence level is picking up as well, this is why she's perfectly fine pointing out that someone needs to go on a diet...and this begins the next era of "just kill me now" moments.
Madi who is our in house dictator runs her mouth at home like you wouldn't believe. She tells us what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Not that any of us comply with her demands, but that doesn't stop her from giving them. However, take her out of the home and she "transforms." That's when I just want to die.
See Madison has a lot of social anxieties and we believe it stems from her speech delay and we believe her inability to communicate as well when she was younger has resulted in the lack of confidence in a new setting. And yes we understand the whole psychological aspect of this and yada yada yada, but bottomline is that my daughter turns into a monster.
Did I not want to kill myself when we went to Chloe's birthday party at the gym. I didn't know all the parents there so I too was in a new situation. Madison was all excited that morning and got dressed and finally it was time to go. She tells Tyler that she'll be back shortly and climbs into the car, what a sweet angel. Then as we pull into the parking lot she starts..."I want to go home." GAWD! Here we go again!!! "Madi, all your friends are here and it will be fun, AND there will be cake!" "NO! I don't want to go!!!" This is where I would have to wrestle her out of the car and we walk into the gym. She enters and we drop off the gift and everyone is saying hi to Madi and everyone's nice, parents are introducing themselves...and Madi screams, "I want to go home!" and begins to kick and scream. KILL ME NOW! But then we were saved by her flavor of the month at the time. Phew!
This sets off a bunch of emails with her teacher which resulted in the following advice...write a social story before each party or new setting we are taking her to. Are you serious?!?! I have time to write a flipping story before I take her out of the house?!? Is it the water? Global warming?! Cuz I know my parents didn't have to do stuff like this with me and I never heard of this until now. Oi vay! But ok, I will give it a try.
I knew we had a dentist visit coming up so I sat down and wrote a story about going to the dentist and getting her teach cleaned...my eyes were killing me afterwards because I was rolling them so much as I was doing this. So I read her the story when we were done and we read it for a few days in preparation. And then it was that day.
We get in the car and talked about what was going to happen and that it doesn't hurt, it's just like brushing your teeth with a cool toothbrush. Great, everyone is cooperating. We walk in the office and she starts...and I seriously wanted her to punch me out.
"I hate it here! I want to go home! This stinks!" and then she begins to punch and kick the walls!!! All I wanted to do was ram MY head into the wall at this point, and right when I thought it couldn't get worse, it was my turn to check them in. Madi turns to the receptionist points her little finger in the receptionist's face and says "I don't like you!!!" OMG!!!! Now I'm apologizing profusely and she's very nice and understanding...thank god. And Madi kept going with the punching and kicking of the walls. I really thought they were going to kick us out unless they wanted that wall down anyways. So I finally shut her up and calmed her down...and it was our turn. But this time I smartened up. I told the nurse that if SHE said something to Madi that it would be more effective and she did and Madi actually did stop. Amen! We did manage to do what we needed to do and left without totally remodeling their office with Madi's bare hands and feet.
Now that she is 5 my days of wanting to die on the spot has not subsided, but for some different reasons. Don't get me wrong, she still has the anxieties and hopefully by the time she's 35 she won't be kicking down walls anymore. Kindergarten registration was a nightmare. There we were in the middle of the lobby, all these little 4 and 5 year olds all excited for kindergarten and parents around...so these are families who actually live in our neighborhood. All of a sudden Madi screams out "THIS SCHOOL STIIIIIIINKSSSSSSSSSSS!" Can you say holy shit just kill me?!?!? So it hasn't gotten much better....but her speech has definitely picked up. So her confidence level is picking up as well, this is why she's perfectly fine pointing out that someone needs to go on a diet...and this begins the next era of "just kill me now" moments.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
And some more...
I love getting and seeing the "artwork" that comes home....but they are 5...and the drawings are great and sometimes really needed for a good laugh, but holy cow! We have enough paper for a forest right here in my own house...I'm going to have my landscaper come in and trim THESE "bushes". And Tyler's stuff. How do I do this nicely...he comes home everyday with a drawing for me, this drawing is a picture of whatever topice for the month that are printed onto a page and the kids color them. So last month, I have 20...yes TWENTY (4 weeks in a month, and 5 days in a week) pictures of a butterfly AND in each one only the head is colored in. It is either black or blue. Black is preferred that's his favorite color and when the teacher hides the black he picks blue. I try and recycle them and reuse the backs, but then I hurt his feelings. "Mommy you ruined my art!" Oi vay!
I have to say though that they are at least better now, they used to be big black scribbling all over the page. "wow Tyler! that's awesome! i love it!" and Madi, dear sweet Madi would point out, "but mom that is just scribbling!" and then Tyler gets upset. Wonderful cycle.
So back to the bulk art work. How can we limit what is brought home? I have stuff taped to my wall, posted on my fridge, in a bag "for later", and well sometimes yeah I do recycle them off. However tip to the parents....do NOT let them see you do it. Tyler found some of his stuff and almost died from disgust.
"Mommy! you throw my art away?!?"
"No Tyler! I would never do that! Must have been Daddy!"
Oh and another line I use, I tell them I am hanging them in my office. Now I work from home mostly and although we have an office to go to, I am never there and if my kids ever go to the office with me they will ask to see their art and I will be screwed! So be careful!
Sorry Daddy, yes I throw you under the bus all the time, but hey I'm the one here all the time with them and have to listen to the whining and nagging, so oh well!
And here I am sitting here and thinking...what will I do tonight?! it's the end of year school picnic where there will be a silent auction. Each class will have an item to auction off. Great! More "art". So not only do I have enough for the entire city of Newton, but now they want me to actually pay money for more?!?! and not just stuff from my kids but other people's kids too?!??!
It's like seriously!
So...before your kids enter preschool. Teach them to draw, that way when the stuff starts coming home you don't have to bite your lips to keep from laughing and lie to your kid telling them it's beautiful. Don't even deny you are lying, because deep down you are thinking "good god kid do you really see me with a head THAT big?!?", or at certain times of the month when your mood is not that great and you are extra sensitive you think, "even my preschooler thinks I'm fat! Look at that midsection in the picture!" And Tyler, I don't have fingers longer than my legs and Madi, my eyes are not so big that they look like round rimmed glasses!
Wish me luck ;)
I have to say though that they are at least better now, they used to be big black scribbling all over the page. "wow Tyler! that's awesome! i love it!" and Madi, dear sweet Madi would point out, "but mom that is just scribbling!" and then Tyler gets upset. Wonderful cycle.
So back to the bulk art work. How can we limit what is brought home? I have stuff taped to my wall, posted on my fridge, in a bag "for later", and well sometimes yeah I do recycle them off. However tip to the parents....do NOT let them see you do it. Tyler found some of his stuff and almost died from disgust.
"Mommy! you throw my art away?!?"
"No Tyler! I would never do that! Must have been Daddy!"
Oh and another line I use, I tell them I am hanging them in my office. Now I work from home mostly and although we have an office to go to, I am never there and if my kids ever go to the office with me they will ask to see their art and I will be screwed! So be careful!
Sorry Daddy, yes I throw you under the bus all the time, but hey I'm the one here all the time with them and have to listen to the whining and nagging, so oh well!
And here I am sitting here and thinking...what will I do tonight?! it's the end of year school picnic where there will be a silent auction. Each class will have an item to auction off. Great! More "art". So not only do I have enough for the entire city of Newton, but now they want me to actually pay money for more?!?! and not just stuff from my kids but other people's kids too?!??!
It's like seriously!
So...before your kids enter preschool. Teach them to draw, that way when the stuff starts coming home you don't have to bite your lips to keep from laughing and lie to your kid telling them it's beautiful. Don't even deny you are lying, because deep down you are thinking "good god kid do you really see me with a head THAT big?!?", or at certain times of the month when your mood is not that great and you are extra sensitive you think, "even my preschooler thinks I'm fat! Look at that midsection in the picture!" And Tyler, I don't have fingers longer than my legs and Madi, my eyes are not so big that they look like round rimmed glasses!
Wish me luck ;)
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
My Little Princess...
Wow, what a big morning we had. Madi had her year end celebration. The class has been learning about famous artists for the past 4 weeks and then creating their own "masterpieces" based on the ideas of the famous artist of the week. And today all their "masterpieces" were on display at the school cafeteria for all of us parents to go in and ooo and ahhhh at...followed by a little award presentation.
So we wake up and Madi wants to wear a dress, ok. So we picked out a new dress which was in different shades of purple with cute cropped leggings and I do her hair. I also remembered to explain to her that she needs to remember to fix her dress before she leaves the bathroom, cuz nothing worse than having your dress tucked into your undies! We then go down to breakfast. Now we had just gone to Ikea on Sunday and bought a tray of their cinnamon buns because the kids just adore them and I asked if she wanted a cinnamon bun. Yes! Ok so we heat one up set her up for breakfast so that I can finish getting ready. Tyler was in his own world thrilled that I'm all focused on Madi and thinks I didn't realize that he was playing x box in the other room with his cinnamon roll, boy was he on cloud 9.
After about 10 mins she comes to me and she can't finish her cinnamon roll. Well when SHE can't finish a cinnamon roll there HAS to be something wrong! and that's when it hit me. She's nervous about her art show. Well of course she should be, isn't every artist nervous right before their art is to be displayed?! (and let me just add nicely, that some kids had A LOT to be nervous about). But after speaking to her, it wasn't the art, it was the fact that Daddy was going to be there as well...and so will her "boyfriends." After months of Daddy saying, "Madison I need to meet these boys..." the day has finally come where he could potentially meet them and embarass my poor Madi. Not only did she not finish her breakfast but she must have peed about 5 times in a 30 minute span...or perhaps a UTI? probably not....right?!
Half way to school I realize...I'm wearing purple, Madi is wearing purple and Kevin is in a shade of purple too! OMG! Do we look like the entire Barney family going to school??? I really wanted to die. Note to self: pictures of Madi only.
So we get to school and she's all proud and excited and we take Tyler to his class first and everyone is admiring her dress and she's twirling around...what a little girl. She must get that from Kevin cuz I don't do that sort of thing! and then we head off to her art show. We get in there and immediately...DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN....Danny! Now before we left the house she told me she wanted a picture with Danny and Andre because she will miss them when she goes to Disney so I promised that I will, and here's the chance. So I chatted with his mom a bit and I say "we hear about Danny all the time at home" and I find out that at their house they are always talking about Madison, "I don't like girls but I like Madison". How sweet is that? We do the whole picture thing and we're done great.
What was REALLY interesting was the reaction of the parents to these "masterpieces". I mean don't get me wrong. I loved looking at Madi's artwork and to see that preschool really isn't just snacktime, going outside, to the bathroom and build with some blocks. But these teachers really did a great job in getting these kids to create art work based on the original artist's vision. What's embarassing is when Madi will talk about these artists with me and well...no clue. I have no idea who they are or what they do and I'm dealing with a 5 year old so chances are she'll know if I'm faking it. Oi vay! and then you see these parents with their cameras and yes I had one too, but they were taking pictures of the artwork from all angles! Really?! a stick figure looks the same from all angles...no? And then taking pictures of the kids with their art from different angles...I felt like I was on "Zoolander".
But what was the best is the award ceremony. I give so much credit to these teachers. Each child not only got an award for something (and some things ridiculously creative), but she gave them each such a great introduction. Madison got an award for being the class social butterfly. That's funny. She would not speak to one single person while we were there and even the pictures taken with Andre and Danny there was enough space in between the kids for 3 adults to stand in and even them she wouldn't speak to! Then you have the best block builder, best helper, etc. And you know she was thinking, well he's a brat but there has to be something he can do...ok let's just say he's the best snack eater! and this one...can't draw, can't bild, isn't nice, isn't helpful...ok how about best nose picker! These poor teachers! To have to be nice when you can almost feel their pain.
So the end of the even came and the kids were asked to stand in line to go out to the playground and the adults will leave. I give Madi a hug and kiss and she goes off into the line. I take a few pictures of her and the class and then I think she died. I said "have fun outside guys, don't get too wild in the office." Madi's friends all whipped their heads around and looked at me wide-eyed. See "the office is a saucer contraption thing in the playground and only selective kids get to hang out in there. Apparently that's where Madi and her friends, oddly enough not one is female, hang out and not quite sure what they do in there. Thank god it's a saucer with windows and she better not be kissing any boys! And apparently this saucer is "secret", and no one sees them all there right?! Madi looks at me with horror in her face...and well I'm SO SORRY BABY! I've ruined her chances of being the cool kid! but on the flip side, this is preschool and only one other kid will be in her elementary school and he barely speaks english, so no huge loss there right?!
Oh and btw...as expected I didn't escape that without a comment about us all matching. And yes...I wanted to punch her in the face.
So we wake up and Madi wants to wear a dress, ok. So we picked out a new dress which was in different shades of purple with cute cropped leggings and I do her hair. I also remembered to explain to her that she needs to remember to fix her dress before she leaves the bathroom, cuz nothing worse than having your dress tucked into your undies! We then go down to breakfast. Now we had just gone to Ikea on Sunday and bought a tray of their cinnamon buns because the kids just adore them and I asked if she wanted a cinnamon bun. Yes! Ok so we heat one up set her up for breakfast so that I can finish getting ready. Tyler was in his own world thrilled that I'm all focused on Madi and thinks I didn't realize that he was playing x box in the other room with his cinnamon roll, boy was he on cloud 9.
After about 10 mins she comes to me and she can't finish her cinnamon roll. Well when SHE can't finish a cinnamon roll there HAS to be something wrong! and that's when it hit me. She's nervous about her art show. Well of course she should be, isn't every artist nervous right before their art is to be displayed?! (and let me just add nicely, that some kids had A LOT to be nervous about). But after speaking to her, it wasn't the art, it was the fact that Daddy was going to be there as well...and so will her "boyfriends." After months of Daddy saying, "Madison I need to meet these boys..." the day has finally come where he could potentially meet them and embarass my poor Madi. Not only did she not finish her breakfast but she must have peed about 5 times in a 30 minute span...or perhaps a UTI? probably not....right?!
Half way to school I realize...I'm wearing purple, Madi is wearing purple and Kevin is in a shade of purple too! OMG! Do we look like the entire Barney family going to school??? I really wanted to die. Note to self: pictures of Madi only.
So we get to school and she's all proud and excited and we take Tyler to his class first and everyone is admiring her dress and she's twirling around...what a little girl. She must get that from Kevin cuz I don't do that sort of thing! and then we head off to her art show. We get in there and immediately...DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN....Danny! Now before we left the house she told me she wanted a picture with Danny and Andre because she will miss them when she goes to Disney so I promised that I will, and here's the chance. So I chatted with his mom a bit and I say "we hear about Danny all the time at home" and I find out that at their house they are always talking about Madison, "I don't like girls but I like Madison". How sweet is that? We do the whole picture thing and we're done great.
What was REALLY interesting was the reaction of the parents to these "masterpieces". I mean don't get me wrong. I loved looking at Madi's artwork and to see that preschool really isn't just snacktime, going outside, to the bathroom and build with some blocks. But these teachers really did a great job in getting these kids to create art work based on the original artist's vision. What's embarassing is when Madi will talk about these artists with me and well...no clue. I have no idea who they are or what they do and I'm dealing with a 5 year old so chances are she'll know if I'm faking it. Oi vay! and then you see these parents with their cameras and yes I had one too, but they were taking pictures of the artwork from all angles! Really?! a stick figure looks the same from all angles...no? And then taking pictures of the kids with their art from different angles...I felt like I was on "Zoolander".
But what was the best is the award ceremony. I give so much credit to these teachers. Each child not only got an award for something (and some things ridiculously creative), but she gave them each such a great introduction. Madison got an award for being the class social butterfly. That's funny. She would not speak to one single person while we were there and even the pictures taken with Andre and Danny there was enough space in between the kids for 3 adults to stand in and even them she wouldn't speak to! Then you have the best block builder, best helper, etc. And you know she was thinking, well he's a brat but there has to be something he can do...ok let's just say he's the best snack eater! and this one...can't draw, can't bild, isn't nice, isn't helpful...ok how about best nose picker! These poor teachers! To have to be nice when you can almost feel their pain.
So the end of the even came and the kids were asked to stand in line to go out to the playground and the adults will leave. I give Madi a hug and kiss and she goes off into the line. I take a few pictures of her and the class and then I think she died. I said "have fun outside guys, don't get too wild in the office." Madi's friends all whipped their heads around and looked at me wide-eyed. See "the office is a saucer contraption thing in the playground and only selective kids get to hang out in there. Apparently that's where Madi and her friends, oddly enough not one is female, hang out and not quite sure what they do in there. Thank god it's a saucer with windows and she better not be kissing any boys! And apparently this saucer is "secret", and no one sees them all there right?! Madi looks at me with horror in her face...and well I'm SO SORRY BABY! I've ruined her chances of being the cool kid! but on the flip side, this is preschool and only one other kid will be in her elementary school and he barely speaks english, so no huge loss there right?!
Oh and btw...as expected I didn't escape that without a comment about us all matching. And yes...I wanted to punch her in the face.
Monday, June 7, 2010
This WILL Be the Last Pack of Pull Ups...
You know how they say it's much easier to train girls than boys? that's BS! So when my precious son turned 3 and we started on the potty business it was tough in the beginning because good god what a commitment! Who has time to take them to the toilet every hour and then give them a flippin M&M for trying or 2 if they really go? I found myself sitting in front of him on the toilet and going through a jar of M&Ms myself and then there's no more for HIM! I probably gained about 15 pounds from that ordeal...but Tyler did catch on. Then he kept himself dry all night! What a dry angel!
So then there is my precious daughter. She couldn't care less. I tried EVERYTHING short of a brand new BMW for a 3 year old! Then I tried guilt. At this point we were 3.5 or 4 years old now. Tyler could just do no wrong since he goes to the potty and she didn't care. Tyler got new toys. She didn't care. Although I was deemed as being cruel by my husband for giving him a toy in front of her...but she didn't tinkle and that's the deal! I told him that he should reserve his judgement for when I made him move in with his mother. So I left it alone. One day she wakes up and tells me she wants to go pee and she did!
At this point we're still talking about the day not even overnight...but still a joyous occasion. Now I have to say to the new moms. The whole pull up thing for the day is not the best. Go cold turkey. It took Tyler longer because he knew he had the pull up on, with Madi, I went straight to the undies and she may have had 1 or 2 accidents but that was it. Oh! and btw...poopy training is a whole new story!
My kids would not poop in the toilet. I was so desperate at the time I would say ok, no diapers, but i will give you a diaper to poop in. Then that really started to drag, so....here comes the choices: if you have to poop you either go in the toilet...or you can go outside in the bushes. But this mommy is all done changing diapers. Although we had a week of contstipation they FINALLY pooped in the toilet!!! yes! we are almost trained humans now.
And this brings us to today...Tyler has been trained now forever! and then there's my beloved Madison. God help me Madison. The girl will NOT keep her bed dry. I did the cold turkey method and we had to go back to pull ups because the city of Newton was thanking me for helping them fund the NNHS project with the amount I was paying for my water! I was doing laundry EVERY DAY! Not to mention the stocks for Tide and Downy! I have tried waking her up at midnight to pee...but then at 2am she'll come in all wet. How does a little girl have sooooo much pee in her?! She even at one point get up and say "Mommy, my bed is wet", so I'd get up, still sleeping, can't see cuz I didn't bother putting my glasses on and walk into her room with her, and as we are walking in, she says, "well, it's actually only a little wet." So I say ok and checked her bed and feeling for the not so wet spot...and yes I found it when I slapped my hand on her mattress and right into a PUDDLE of urine. Not so wet?!?! and I'm half blind at this point! So yes...we are back in Pull Ups.
When I consulted with her pediatrician I almost crapped my pants and fell on the floor. She said, "well Mona, it's not too bad, and i wouldn't worry. If she was 8 then I would be more concerned."
I'm sorry, did she say EIGHT?!?!?!? as in YEARS OLD?!?!?! Is she serious? quite honestly by THAT time I may be in Depends! Hells no this will NOT happen in my house. So I continue to bribe.
She sees things on TV and asks for it, my answer "yes. as soon as you wake up with a dry pull up." ok. She continues to ask for things and TYLER answers her "yes when you have a dry pull up". still wet. She asks me again one morning, and I give her my standard answer. But the devil that she is threw me off when she paused and asked me when Christmas was...this girl is tough! She continues to tell me that maybe she'll just wait for Santa!!! how do I answer this?!?! So I collect my thoughts,and I admit, took me longer than norm and said, "well Santa actually just emailed me to check on you and I told him still wet Pull Up and I will not lie to Santa." The girl actually is calling me bullshit! She said, "No, he'll come."
I am now desperate! When will my smart daughter wake up to go pee??? When will I stop buying Pull Ups?
So then there is my precious daughter. She couldn't care less. I tried EVERYTHING short of a brand new BMW for a 3 year old! Then I tried guilt. At this point we were 3.5 or 4 years old now. Tyler could just do no wrong since he goes to the potty and she didn't care. Tyler got new toys. She didn't care. Although I was deemed as being cruel by my husband for giving him a toy in front of her...but she didn't tinkle and that's the deal! I told him that he should reserve his judgement for when I made him move in with his mother. So I left it alone. One day she wakes up and tells me she wants to go pee and she did!
At this point we're still talking about the day not even overnight...but still a joyous occasion. Now I have to say to the new moms. The whole pull up thing for the day is not the best. Go cold turkey. It took Tyler longer because he knew he had the pull up on, with Madi, I went straight to the undies and she may have had 1 or 2 accidents but that was it. Oh! and btw...poopy training is a whole new story!
My kids would not poop in the toilet. I was so desperate at the time I would say ok, no diapers, but i will give you a diaper to poop in. Then that really started to drag, so....here comes the choices: if you have to poop you either go in the toilet...or you can go outside in the bushes. But this mommy is all done changing diapers. Although we had a week of contstipation they FINALLY pooped in the toilet!!! yes! we are almost trained humans now.
And this brings us to today...Tyler has been trained now forever! and then there's my beloved Madison. God help me Madison. The girl will NOT keep her bed dry. I did the cold turkey method and we had to go back to pull ups because the city of Newton was thanking me for helping them fund the NNHS project with the amount I was paying for my water! I was doing laundry EVERY DAY! Not to mention the stocks for Tide and Downy! I have tried waking her up at midnight to pee...but then at 2am she'll come in all wet. How does a little girl have sooooo much pee in her?! She even at one point get up and say "Mommy, my bed is wet", so I'd get up, still sleeping, can't see cuz I didn't bother putting my glasses on and walk into her room with her, and as we are walking in, she says, "well, it's actually only a little wet." So I say ok and checked her bed and feeling for the not so wet spot...and yes I found it when I slapped my hand on her mattress and right into a PUDDLE of urine. Not so wet?!?! and I'm half blind at this point! So yes...we are back in Pull Ups.
When I consulted with her pediatrician I almost crapped my pants and fell on the floor. She said, "well Mona, it's not too bad, and i wouldn't worry. If she was 8 then I would be more concerned."
I'm sorry, did she say EIGHT?!?!?!? as in YEARS OLD?!?!?! Is she serious? quite honestly by THAT time I may be in Depends! Hells no this will NOT happen in my house. So I continue to bribe.
She sees things on TV and asks for it, my answer "yes. as soon as you wake up with a dry pull up." ok. She continues to ask for things and TYLER answers her "yes when you have a dry pull up". still wet. She asks me again one morning, and I give her my standard answer. But the devil that she is threw me off when she paused and asked me when Christmas was...this girl is tough! She continues to tell me that maybe she'll just wait for Santa!!! how do I answer this?!?! So I collect my thoughts,and I admit, took me longer than norm and said, "well Santa actually just emailed me to check on you and I told him still wet Pull Up and I will not lie to Santa." The girl actually is calling me bullshit! She said, "No, he'll come."
I am now desperate! When will my smart daughter wake up to go pee??? When will I stop buying Pull Ups?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Is Your Baby a Mean Kid???
"Danny pushed me in the playground today" reports Tyler. Danny is in Madison's class and is Madison's "boyfriend".
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Nothing." says Tyler.
Ok so now I'm ready to the school and demand to know why Danny is touching my baby?! But I'm the adult and I know better, so I say, "maybe he was just playing with you Tyler and he didn't really push you."
"No, he pushed me."
Ok, so I take a deep breath and turn to Madi, "Madison, were you there too?"
"yeah!"says Madi
"Did you see Danny push Tyler?"
"Um well I think they were playing"
"No he wasn't!" yells Tyler
"Well Tylah, did you make Danny mad?" asks Madi.
OMG! No she didn't?! She really defends Danny. Oh hells no! No one will pick on my baby boy!
"Well, I'm sure he was only playing Tyler, but Madi, IF someone was picking on Tyler you have to help him! He IS your brother you know?!" that was what I said to them.
I understand these kids will tell the non-truth, not really lie, but just not exactly how it happened and I have learned to take it in stride. And I really don't want to be one of those parents who will baby my kids until they are 18 and trust me I have met some of those...in fact I thought I saw the umbilical cord tucked into their jeans! I want my kids to learn to defend themselves and to watch out for each other and to be more responsible. ok ok, I know 5 year olds can not be responsible, but really, they can. They need to at least start to practice. But that's an entry for another day, I could go on...and on...and on. Today my thoughts are on mean kids.
"I don't want to go to lunch bunch!" complains Tyler.
"Why Tyler? it's so much fun there." I ask.
"Lucas hits me" states Tyler.
"Well Mona this is a problem. You should speak to Lucas' mom" my husband tells me. And this goes on for days.
Is he for real?! Lucas is half Tyler's size!
"ok I will speak to the teachers"
And after speaking to the teachers and finding out that Tyler actually chooses to sit with Lucas at lunch time. I report this back to my husband who just kinda grumbles and says something like "well it's not right for him to hit Tyler." HI! there has been no hitting except for maybe some playing and roughhousing at best! HE needs to cut the cord. He has selective overprotective issues. Just plain weird.
How do I as a mom who is trying to teach my kids independence not get too involved? and how far should kids go to defend themselves? So we are entering kindergarten and it's a whole new game from preschool. I mean in preschool my twins are the bigger kids. But Kindergarten?! So I sign them up for T Ball.
Well! At T Ball some of the other kids from the other teams were not so very nice. The kids will tell me that the kid at 2nd base wouldn't let me stand on the base. He pushed me off and wouldn't let me stand there. So I ask what did you do? and they tell me nothing, they didn't do anything. OK...so what kind of an answer did I want? Did I want them to tell me they had a rebuttal? Or like in the instance with Danny. Did I want Tyler to tell me he knocked him back and on his ass? I know inside I would have cheered for him, but I know it is not what I should teach him...but I don't want him picked on either!
Oh and the name calling! "poo poo diaper!", "poo poo head", "squiggly face", and it goes on. It's a stage right? That is what the kids are all saying in school...and yes, I have chosen to ignore it I figure there are worse things they could say...they could run around calling each other assholes!
Or what do you say when your child comes home and tells you "Ollana (Allana) is not my friend today and I'm mad!"
"what happened? Why are you not friends?" I would ask
"She told me she's friends with Luke now and not mine!"
"Well why can't you ALL be friends?" stupid me ask.
"NO! only 1 at a time!"
And well what IS wrong with "Ollana"?! Why would she pick Luke over Tyler?!?! She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. I mean seriously. Then I snap back into reality, what kind of rule is that?! And these are 5 year olds, nothing makes sense in their world so why am I even wondering? BUT I will say that there are some whacky parents out there who does take this stuff seriously and will inquire further into the "situation." Again, cut the cord.
I think in a lot of these situations it's more of the fact that our babies had their feelings hurt and so as the mommy you immediately step up and take them down! Well I do anyways. But I do my reality check and step back down. And on the flipside when you are standing there and some kid comes to their mom standing right next to you say "Tyler called me poo poo face" and starts to cry I want to die from embarassment, but then I think to myself "grow a set kid, they are only words! But nope, their mother is fondling him and soothing him...oi vay!
I think as parents we need to all remember that our kids are not the angels we think they are...well I know my Tyler is and Madi is the devil :) and I digress...ok so no, they are not all angels and tell non-truths and we have to pick and choose when we will get involved. I think we also have to believe that it is a 2 way street. I want my kids to come to me, but I want them to try and work things out on their own as well. Now as for those parents who still have yet to cut the cord...just do it. It's ok!
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Nothing." says Tyler.
Ok so now I'm ready to the school and demand to know why Danny is touching my baby?! But I'm the adult and I know better, so I say, "maybe he was just playing with you Tyler and he didn't really push you."
"No, he pushed me."
Ok, so I take a deep breath and turn to Madi, "Madison, were you there too?"
"yeah!"says Madi
"Did you see Danny push Tyler?"
"Um well I think they were playing"
"No he wasn't!" yells Tyler
"Well Tylah, did you make Danny mad?" asks Madi.
OMG! No she didn't?! She really defends Danny. Oh hells no! No one will pick on my baby boy!
"Well, I'm sure he was only playing Tyler, but Madi, IF someone was picking on Tyler you have to help him! He IS your brother you know?!" that was what I said to them.
I understand these kids will tell the non-truth, not really lie, but just not exactly how it happened and I have learned to take it in stride. And I really don't want to be one of those parents who will baby my kids until they are 18 and trust me I have met some of those...in fact I thought I saw the umbilical cord tucked into their jeans! I want my kids to learn to defend themselves and to watch out for each other and to be more responsible. ok ok, I know 5 year olds can not be responsible, but really, they can. They need to at least start to practice. But that's an entry for another day, I could go on...and on...and on. Today my thoughts are on mean kids.
"I don't want to go to lunch bunch!" complains Tyler.
"Why Tyler? it's so much fun there." I ask.
"Lucas hits me" states Tyler.
"Well Mona this is a problem. You should speak to Lucas' mom" my husband tells me. And this goes on for days.
Is he for real?! Lucas is half Tyler's size!
"ok I will speak to the teachers"
And after speaking to the teachers and finding out that Tyler actually chooses to sit with Lucas at lunch time. I report this back to my husband who just kinda grumbles and says something like "well it's not right for him to hit Tyler." HI! there has been no hitting except for maybe some playing and roughhousing at best! HE needs to cut the cord. He has selective overprotective issues. Just plain weird.
How do I as a mom who is trying to teach my kids independence not get too involved? and how far should kids go to defend themselves? So we are entering kindergarten and it's a whole new game from preschool. I mean in preschool my twins are the bigger kids. But Kindergarten?! So I sign them up for T Ball.
Well! At T Ball some of the other kids from the other teams were not so very nice. The kids will tell me that the kid at 2nd base wouldn't let me stand on the base. He pushed me off and wouldn't let me stand there. So I ask what did you do? and they tell me nothing, they didn't do anything. OK...so what kind of an answer did I want? Did I want them to tell me they had a rebuttal? Or like in the instance with Danny. Did I want Tyler to tell me he knocked him back and on his ass? I know inside I would have cheered for him, but I know it is not what I should teach him...but I don't want him picked on either!
Oh and the name calling! "poo poo diaper!", "poo poo head", "squiggly face", and it goes on. It's a stage right? That is what the kids are all saying in school...and yes, I have chosen to ignore it I figure there are worse things they could say...they could run around calling each other assholes!
Or what do you say when your child comes home and tells you "Ollana (Allana) is not my friend today and I'm mad!"
"what happened? Why are you not friends?" I would ask
"She told me she's friends with Luke now and not mine!"
"Well why can't you ALL be friends?" stupid me ask.
"NO! only 1 at a time!"
And well what IS wrong with "Ollana"?! Why would she pick Luke over Tyler?!?! She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. I mean seriously. Then I snap back into reality, what kind of rule is that?! And these are 5 year olds, nothing makes sense in their world so why am I even wondering? BUT I will say that there are some whacky parents out there who does take this stuff seriously and will inquire further into the "situation." Again, cut the cord.
I think in a lot of these situations it's more of the fact that our babies had their feelings hurt and so as the mommy you immediately step up and take them down! Well I do anyways. But I do my reality check and step back down. And on the flipside when you are standing there and some kid comes to their mom standing right next to you say "Tyler called me poo poo face" and starts to cry I want to die from embarassment, but then I think to myself "grow a set kid, they are only words! But nope, their mother is fondling him and soothing him...oi vay!
I think as parents we need to all remember that our kids are not the angels we think they are...well I know my Tyler is and Madi is the devil :) and I digress...ok so no, they are not all angels and tell non-truths and we have to pick and choose when we will get involved. I think we also have to believe that it is a 2 way street. I want my kids to come to me, but I want them to try and work things out on their own as well. Now as for those parents who still have yet to cut the cord...just do it. It's ok!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
FYI...Your child IS mean!
As we graduate from preschool and prepare for kindergarten and the kids are getting older and smarter I am now hearing stories of mean kids. Instinctively I want to go to the school and trip the kid so he/she can really hurt for being mean to my kid! How dare they?!?! MY BABY!!! Intellectually I know I can't be protecting my kids 24/7, but how do I deal with this? What do I tell my kids?
Reminds me of that episode of "The Brady Bunch" when Buddy Hinton was picky on Cindy and then he punches Peter in the eye. Mike Brady tells him to reason with Buddy and that doesn't work until Mike decides it's time to teach Peter to fight. Well if it's ok for the Bradys to fight then it's ok for us as well right?! So...do I teach the kids to fight?
As a parent of pre-K'ers I often find myself stop and not get involved with kids issues and let them figure it out on their own. I really don't want to be "one of those parents". I don't talk to my kids like they are still in the womb, I don't spoon food them, and yes! I am teaching them to be responsible for themselves.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Growing up "American"
"Make sure you speak to them in chinese!" This is the standard order I hear from all of my husband's relatives. I can appreciate the fact that we have the opportunity for the kids to be bilingual and wow what an asset that would be, but is it really THAT awful if they god forbid DON'T speak Chinese??? Will they be denied a visit to China? I mean seriously! and WHY would they speak chinese at home when me and my husband speak to each other in english?!
I remember growing up and as I like to put it, being one of the "pilgrim" chinese folk in Newton I was horrified! Do you know what it's like to be in a predominant neighborhood of Jewish families?! I remember I HATED my birthday when I was in elementary school. All the kids' parents would bring in cupcakes for their kids to hand out to everyone and then there was me. My mom would buy these little cakes from chinatown! they were horrible! and more importantly different. It was bad enough that I was already different, but let's just put it out there again...oi vay! So I rebeled. I was not going to speak the language. They stuck me in chinese school, and that's where I really wanted to be right? NOT! and I walked away learning nada. So I promised myself that I will NOT push my kids to learn the language and that they will learn it if they want.
I am sorry if we don't speak the language in our home. But reality. Our great grandfathers immigrated here for a reason. My children are now the 4th generation, why WOULD they speak chinese when we are Americans? and if it was so important then why did they immigrate here? This leads me to another point. I hate...just hate hearing about how great it was in China and/or how great it is now and how horrible the US is and the taxes and the blah blah blah...hello?!??! anyone shackling you here?!? ok and so I digress....back to the subject at hand.
My kids don't speak Chinese. Do NOT give me the dirty look when I tell you that I am NOT enrolling them in Chinese School on Saturday, we are doing baseball, or soccer, or just anything else. The twins are not at the point where they don't want to hear about it either and so when they are spokent to in chinese they will remind you "I don't speak chinese". Talk about rebelling, my mom will speak to Madi in Chinese and she will tell my mother "por por (maternal grandmother), I don't speak chinese remember?! I speak spanish!" (she doesn't other than the 3 or 4 words Dora taught her).
Don't get me wrong I'm not against kids being bilingual and if they grow up in a bilingual household then it's normal for them, and that's great! but you can't force someone to be bilingual if they don't want to be.
And not for nothing, but my twins are speech delayed, still getting speech therapy, so if they are going to start talking I prefer they learn english rather than chinese. When they are ready and willing they will learn the language...or whatever language they want.
Kids today are so lucky, we are so much more diverse in our school systems and they learn that it's ok to be different. I just don't feel the need to force them to "be chinese", I believe that if we leave it alone they will learn to embrace their diffences and appreciate their culture more. And I, well I am forever scarred with all my embarassments growing up as a "pilgrim".
I remember growing up and as I like to put it, being one of the "pilgrim" chinese folk in Newton I was horrified! Do you know what it's like to be in a predominant neighborhood of Jewish families?! I remember I HATED my birthday when I was in elementary school. All the kids' parents would bring in cupcakes for their kids to hand out to everyone and then there was me. My mom would buy these little cakes from chinatown! they were horrible! and more importantly different. It was bad enough that I was already different, but let's just put it out there again...oi vay! So I rebeled. I was not going to speak the language. They stuck me in chinese school, and that's where I really wanted to be right? NOT! and I walked away learning nada. So I promised myself that I will NOT push my kids to learn the language and that they will learn it if they want.
I am sorry if we don't speak the language in our home. But reality. Our great grandfathers immigrated here for a reason. My children are now the 4th generation, why WOULD they speak chinese when we are Americans? and if it was so important then why did they immigrate here? This leads me to another point. I hate...just hate hearing about how great it was in China and/or how great it is now and how horrible the US is and the taxes and the blah blah blah...hello?!??! anyone shackling you here?!? ok and so I digress....back to the subject at hand.
My kids don't speak Chinese. Do NOT give me the dirty look when I tell you that I am NOT enrolling them in Chinese School on Saturday, we are doing baseball, or soccer, or just anything else. The twins are not at the point where they don't want to hear about it either and so when they are spokent to in chinese they will remind you "I don't speak chinese". Talk about rebelling, my mom will speak to Madi in Chinese and she will tell my mother "por por (maternal grandmother), I don't speak chinese remember?! I speak spanish!" (she doesn't other than the 3 or 4 words Dora taught her).
Don't get me wrong I'm not against kids being bilingual and if they grow up in a bilingual household then it's normal for them, and that's great! but you can't force someone to be bilingual if they don't want to be.
And not for nothing, but my twins are speech delayed, still getting speech therapy, so if they are going to start talking I prefer they learn english rather than chinese. When they are ready and willing they will learn the language...or whatever language they want.
Kids today are so lucky, we are so much more diverse in our school systems and they learn that it's ok to be different. I just don't feel the need to force them to "be chinese", I believe that if we leave it alone they will learn to embrace their diffences and appreciate their culture more. And I, well I am forever scarred with all my embarassments growing up as a "pilgrim".
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Nipballs and Pinky Doos
I've always said that I will be that honest parent who won't be sugarcoating everything and won't lie about everything...I want my kids to know that life is hard and to get used to it. I won't be there to wipe their snots and ass when they are 18!
So as the twins were growing up and we went through the diaper stage where I would change them back to back and when you have twin babies you are not going to say ok I will change Tyler in the boys room and Madi in the girls room or take them to their own bedroom, I had changing stations all over the house and they were changed wherever we were. Well somewhere along the way the twins got older and of course start to notice body parts.
When they were 3, Madi came to me with her shirt pulled up and asked "mommy what this name?" and so honest mommy said "oh it's a nipple". Of course this info got passed onto Tyler and although only 3 and we've never made a big deal of our body parts or being naked they knew it was "forbidden." So that phase went on for a bit and they forgot about it...until now.
For the first time EVER in my life I've found myself in more situations where I am speechless than ever! How does one respond?
I hear giggling and we were at the Gap.
Me: "What are you guys doing?"
Madi: "Nothing"
Tyler: "Look mommy!" pointing at a bra
Madi breaks out into fits of laughter
Me: "What Tyler?"
Tyler: "It's a NIP BALL case"
makes sense....a case to "hold" the "nip balls". of course with my maturity level I die with laughter and that just fuels them. oh boy here we go!
and then there was this time. I am helping Tyler shower and he asks me: "Mommy, do you have a flat pinky doo or a pointy one?" In case you haven't figured it out a "pinky doo" is a penis. so of course everyone has one, I mean he does and so Madi must have one too, but he's never seen a pinky doo on Madi...therefore it's flat. again makes sense. My children are geniouses!
Now as we are in the summertime and all these shapely females are walking around with their skimpy tops enticing my son who turns to his sister and says I almost see her nip balls and they both giggle, what do I do? He sees girls on TV in skimpy bikinis and he tells me they are gorgeous because of her nip balls...what do I do?! AND what do I say when he goes on a swing and tells me he loves that swing because it makes his pinky doo tingle?! My son is getting off on a swing?!?!
So how do we address these issues without being prissy about it? and more importantly, is there anything I can take to control my immaturity and not laugh to the point where I would pee my pants?
So as the twins were growing up and we went through the diaper stage where I would change them back to back and when you have twin babies you are not going to say ok I will change Tyler in the boys room and Madi in the girls room or take them to their own bedroom, I had changing stations all over the house and they were changed wherever we were. Well somewhere along the way the twins got older and of course start to notice body parts.
When they were 3, Madi came to me with her shirt pulled up and asked "mommy what this name?" and so honest mommy said "oh it's a nipple". Of course this info got passed onto Tyler and although only 3 and we've never made a big deal of our body parts or being naked they knew it was "forbidden." So that phase went on for a bit and they forgot about it...until now.
For the first time EVER in my life I've found myself in more situations where I am speechless than ever! How does one respond?
I hear giggling and we were at the Gap.
Me: "What are you guys doing?"
Madi: "Nothing"
Tyler: "Look mommy!" pointing at a bra
Madi breaks out into fits of laughter
Me: "What Tyler?"
Tyler: "It's a NIP BALL case"
makes sense....a case to "hold" the "nip balls". of course with my maturity level I die with laughter and that just fuels them. oh boy here we go!
and then there was this time. I am helping Tyler shower and he asks me: "Mommy, do you have a flat pinky doo or a pointy one?" In case you haven't figured it out a "pinky doo" is a penis. so of course everyone has one, I mean he does and so Madi must have one too, but he's never seen a pinky doo on Madi...therefore it's flat. again makes sense. My children are geniouses!
Now as we are in the summertime and all these shapely females are walking around with their skimpy tops enticing my son who turns to his sister and says I almost see her nip balls and they both giggle, what do I do? He sees girls on TV in skimpy bikinis and he tells me they are gorgeous because of her nip balls...what do I do?! AND what do I say when he goes on a swing and tells me he loves that swing because it makes his pinky doo tingle?! My son is getting off on a swing?!?!
So how do we address these issues without being prissy about it? and more importantly, is there anything I can take to control my immaturity and not laugh to the point where I would pee my pants?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Introducing ME!
So as I sit here and begin this new journey...totally new to this stuff and I'm obsessing over the font. REALLY?!?! One of my biggest fears in starting this is that I will offend people...if you think I'm talking about you then you should really pay attention and perhaps reread what I wrote...do you REALLY want to be like that?! And the best are my mother in law stories...although I may have to keep those in the vault or I could end up in a divorce...although sometimes that is not a bad thought! oh well, here I go...
My new and more exciting life started a short 5 years ago on November 21, 2004. My 2 bundles of joy arrived right around 3lbs a piece. So tiny and innocent. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with twins, boy was my husband a hero! high fives all around, "great aim" (hahaha, in a deep chuckle), "boy you hit the spot", etc. I listen to that with such disgust and I remind them that I was actually there too and might I add in much less attractive position. so yeah yeah yeah, heard this complaint before from every other woman who has been pregnant, but seriously! but it's like you hear it when they first find out about the pregnancy then you hear it again when the babies are born. Wow you really did a great job! and then there's me...hello?! do you not see me here high on morphine from the god awful deliverY?!?! was he the one who had a speculum (the duckbill) shoved into his penis while he was having a contraction??? And was HE the one who couldn't even let one rip after the surgery because his intestines were rearranged? THAT was when my new and exciting life started...
After the kids came home from the hospital (NICU for 1 mth), my HOOD sign came off my forehead as I had totally dried up...the well just dried up! and couldn't nurse or pump (basically the opposite of the BP problem today). It was exhausting. What was worse was that the midnight feedings were so hard on my husband. I would forget to close the bedroom door and the babies would wake him up. Boy what would I pay to be able to wake up and just go into the office and come home to "take care" of them for 2 hours. Note to self, next life no husband get a nanny. So I went back to work when they turned 3 months and got laid off when they were 1 years old. WONDERFUL. So that's how I got into brokering mortgages. I was a processor when I got laid off and this made the most sense. it allowed me to work from home, schedule my patchwork childcare and not pay through the nose for daycare for 2. And here I am today :) 4 years later, surviving and successful.
And now they are 5. Tyler is turning 6 and Madi will be turning 32. My life with these 2 have been incredible, watching them learn and listening to them talk especially cracks me up. Madi has now learned the art of speaking with her hands...she does this "claw" with her hand when she gets super excited...oh and she has decided to be a girl now and wear dresses. NICE! Tyler is your typical boy, loves boobs and baseball. He is drawn to young blonds with long hair. Oi vay!
They will begin kindergarten in the fall and I think that is when all the fun will REALLY begin!
My new and more exciting life started a short 5 years ago on November 21, 2004. My 2 bundles of joy arrived right around 3lbs a piece. So tiny and innocent. I remember when I first found out I was pregnant with twins, boy was my husband a hero! high fives all around, "great aim" (hahaha, in a deep chuckle), "boy you hit the spot", etc. I listen to that with such disgust and I remind them that I was actually there too and might I add in much less attractive position. so yeah yeah yeah, heard this complaint before from every other woman who has been pregnant, but seriously! but it's like you hear it when they first find out about the pregnancy then you hear it again when the babies are born. Wow you really did a great job! and then there's me...hello?! do you not see me here high on morphine from the god awful deliverY?!?! was he the one who had a speculum (the duckbill) shoved into his penis while he was having a contraction??? And was HE the one who couldn't even let one rip after the surgery because his intestines were rearranged? THAT was when my new and exciting life started...
After the kids came home from the hospital (NICU for 1 mth), my HOOD sign came off my forehead as I had totally dried up...the well just dried up! and couldn't nurse or pump (basically the opposite of the BP problem today). It was exhausting. What was worse was that the midnight feedings were so hard on my husband. I would forget to close the bedroom door and the babies would wake him up. Boy what would I pay to be able to wake up and just go into the office and come home to "take care" of them for 2 hours. Note to self, next life no husband get a nanny. So I went back to work when they turned 3 months and got laid off when they were 1 years old. WONDERFUL. So that's how I got into brokering mortgages. I was a processor when I got laid off and this made the most sense. it allowed me to work from home, schedule my patchwork childcare and not pay through the nose for daycare for 2. And here I am today :) 4 years later, surviving and successful.
And now they are 5. Tyler is turning 6 and Madi will be turning 32. My life with these 2 have been incredible, watching them learn and listening to them talk especially cracks me up. Madi has now learned the art of speaking with her hands...she does this "claw" with her hand when she gets super excited...oh and she has decided to be a girl now and wear dresses. NICE! Tyler is your typical boy, loves boobs and baseball. He is drawn to young blonds with long hair. Oi vay!
They will begin kindergarten in the fall and I think that is when all the fun will REALLY begin!
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