Is Your Baby a Mean Kid???

"Danny pushed me in the playground today" reports Tyler. Danny is in Madison's class and is Madison's "boyfriend".

"What did you do?" I asked.
"Nothing." says Tyler.

Ok so now I'm ready to the school and demand to know why Danny is touching my baby?! But I'm the adult and I know better, so I say, "maybe he was just playing with you Tyler and he didn't really push you."

"No, he pushed me."

Ok, so I take a deep breath and turn to Madi, "Madison, were you there too?"
"yeah!"says Madi
"Did you see Danny push Tyler?"
"Um well I think they were playing"
"No he wasn't!" yells Tyler
"Well Tylah, did you make Danny mad?" asks Madi.

OMG! No she didn't?! She really defends Danny. Oh hells no! No one will pick on my baby boy!

"Well, I'm sure he was only playing Tyler, but Madi, IF someone was picking on Tyler you have to help him! He IS your brother you know?!" that was what I said to them.

I understand these kids will tell the non-truth, not really lie, but just not exactly how it happened and I have learned to take it in stride. And I really don't want to be one of those parents who will baby my kids until they are 18 and trust me I have met some of those...in fact I thought I saw the umbilical cord tucked into their jeans! I want my kids to learn to defend themselves and to watch out for each other and to be more responsible. ok ok, I know 5 year olds can not be responsible, but really, they can. They need to at least start to practice. But that's an entry for another day, I could go on...and on...and on. Today my thoughts are on mean kids.

"I don't want to go to lunch bunch!" complains Tyler.
"Why Tyler? it's so much fun there." I ask.
"Lucas hits me" states Tyler.
"Well Mona this is a problem. You should speak to Lucas' mom" my husband tells me. And this goes on for days.

Is he for real?! Lucas is half Tyler's size!

"ok I will speak to the teachers"

And after speaking to the teachers and finding out that Tyler actually chooses to sit with Lucas at lunch time. I report this back to my husband who just kinda grumbles and says something like "well it's not right for him to hit Tyler." HI! there has been no hitting except for maybe some playing and roughhousing at best! HE needs to cut the cord. He has selective overprotective issues. Just plain weird.

How do I as a mom who is trying to teach my kids independence not get too involved? and how far should kids go to defend themselves? So we are entering kindergarten and it's a whole new game from preschool. I mean in preschool my twins are the bigger kids. But Kindergarten?! So I sign them up for T Ball.

Well! At T Ball some of the other kids from the other teams were not so very nice. The kids will tell me that the kid at 2nd base wouldn't let me stand on the base. He pushed me off and wouldn't let me stand there. So I ask what did you do? and they tell me nothing, they didn't do anything. OK...so what kind of an answer did I want? Did I want them to tell me they had a rebuttal? Or like in the instance with Danny. Did I want Tyler to tell me he knocked him back and on his ass? I know inside I would have cheered for him, but I know it is not what I should teach him...but I don't want him picked on either!

Oh and the name calling! "poo poo diaper!", "poo poo head", "squiggly face", and it goes on. It's a stage right? That is what the kids are all saying in school...and yes, I have chosen to ignore it I figure there are worse things they could say...they could run around calling each other assholes!

Or what do you say when your child comes home and tells you "Ollana (Allana) is not my friend today and I'm mad!"
"what happened? Why are you not friends?" I would ask
"She told me she's friends with Luke now and not mine!"
"Well why can't you ALL be friends?" stupid me ask.
"NO! only 1 at a time!"
And well what IS wrong with "Ollana"?! Why would she pick Luke over Tyler?!?! She obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. I mean seriously. Then I snap back into reality, what kind of rule is that?! And these are 5 year olds, nothing makes sense in their world so why am I even wondering? BUT I will say that there are some whacky parents out there who does take this stuff seriously and will inquire further into the "situation." Again, cut the cord.

I think in a lot of these situations it's more of the fact that our babies had their feelings hurt and so as the mommy you immediately step up and take them down! Well I do anyways. But I do my reality check and step back down. And on the flipside when you are standing there and some kid comes to their mom standing right next to you say "Tyler called me poo poo face" and starts to cry I want to die from embarassment, but then I think to myself "grow a set kid, they are only words! But nope, their mother is fondling him and soothing him...oi vay!

I think as parents we need to all remember that our kids are not the angels we think they are...well I know my Tyler is and Madi is the devil :) and I digress...ok so no, they are not all angels and tell non-truths and we have to pick and choose when we will get involved. I think we also have to believe that it is a 2 way street. I want my kids to come to me, but I want them to try and work things out on their own as well. Now as for those parents who still have yet to cut the cord...just do it. It's ok!