Growing up "American"

"Make sure you speak to them in chinese!" This is the standard order I hear from all of my husband's relatives. I can appreciate the fact that we have the opportunity for the kids to be bilingual and wow what an asset that would be, but is it really THAT awful if they god forbid DON'T speak Chinese??? Will they be denied a visit to China? I mean seriously! and WHY would they speak chinese at home when me and my husband speak to each other in english?!

I remember growing up and as I like to put it, being one of the "pilgrim" chinese folk in Newton I was horrified! Do you know what it's like to be in a predominant neighborhood of Jewish families?! I remember I HATED my birthday when I was in elementary school. All the kids' parents would bring in cupcakes for their kids to hand out to everyone and then there was me. My mom would buy these little cakes from chinatown! they were horrible! and more importantly different. It was bad enough that I was already different, but let's just put it out there again...oi vay! So I rebeled. I was not going to speak the language. They stuck me in chinese school, and that's where I really wanted to be right? NOT! and I walked away learning nada. So I promised myself that I will NOT push my kids to learn the language and that they will learn it if they want.

I am sorry if we don't speak the language in our home. But reality. Our great grandfathers immigrated here for a reason. My children are now the 4th generation, why WOULD they speak chinese when we are Americans? and if it was so important then why did they immigrate here? This leads me to another point. I hate...just hate hearing about how great it was in China and/or how great it is now and how horrible the US is and the taxes and the blah blah blah...hello?!??! anyone shackling you here?!? ok and so I digress....back to the subject at hand.

My kids don't speak Chinese. Do NOT give me the dirty look when I tell you that I am NOT enrolling them in Chinese School on Saturday, we are doing baseball, or soccer, or just anything else. The twins are not at the point where they don't want to hear about it either and so when they are spokent to in chinese they will remind you "I don't speak chinese". Talk about rebelling, my mom will speak to Madi in Chinese and she will tell my mother "por por (maternal grandmother), I don't speak chinese remember?! I speak spanish!" (she doesn't other than the 3 or 4 words Dora taught her).

Don't get me wrong I'm not against kids being bilingual and if they grow up in a bilingual household then it's normal for them, and that's great! but you can't force someone to be bilingual if they don't want to be.

And not for nothing, but my twins are speech delayed, still getting speech therapy, so if they are going to start talking I prefer they learn english rather than chinese. When they are ready and willing they will learn the language...or whatever language they want.

Kids today are so lucky, we are so much more diverse in our school systems and they learn that it's ok to be different. I just don't feel the need to force them to "be chinese", I believe that if we leave it alone they will learn to embrace their diffences and appreciate their culture more. And I, well I am forever scarred with all my embarassments growing up as a "pilgrim".