Nipballs and Pinky Doos

I've always said that I will be that honest parent who won't be sugarcoating everything and won't lie about everything...I want my kids to know that life is hard and to get used to it. I won't be there to wipe their snots and ass when they are 18!

So as the twins were growing up and we went through the diaper stage where I would change them back to back and when you have twin babies you are not going to say ok I will change Tyler in the boys room and Madi in the girls room or take them to their own bedroom, I had changing stations all over the house and they were changed wherever we were. Well somewhere along the way the twins got older and of course start to notice body parts.

When they were 3, Madi came to me with her shirt pulled up and asked "mommy what this name?" and so honest mommy said "oh it's a nipple". Of course this info got passed onto Tyler and although only 3 and we've never made a big deal of our body parts or being naked they knew it was "forbidden." So that phase went on for a bit and they forgot about it...until now.

For the first time EVER in my life I've found myself in more situations where I am speechless than ever! How does one respond?

I hear giggling and we were at the Gap.
Me: "What are you guys doing?"
Madi: "Nothing"
Tyler: "Look mommy!" pointing at a bra
Madi breaks out into fits of laughter
Me: "What Tyler?"
Tyler: "It's a NIP BALL case"
makes sense....a case to "hold" the "nip balls". of course with my maturity level I die with laughter and that just fuels them. oh boy here we go!

and then there was this time. I am helping Tyler shower and he asks me: "Mommy, do you have a flat pinky doo or a pointy one?" In case you haven't figured it out a "pinky doo" is a penis. so of course everyone has one, I mean he does and so Madi must have one too, but he's never seen a pinky doo on Madi...therefore it's flat. again makes sense. My children are geniouses!

Now as we are in the summertime and all these shapely females are walking around with their skimpy tops enticing my son who turns to his sister and says I almost see her nip balls and they both giggle, what do I do? He sees girls on TV in skimpy bikinis and he tells me they are gorgeous because of her nip balls...what do I do?! AND what do I say when he goes on a swing and tells me he loves that swing because it makes his pinky doo tingle?! My son is getting off on a swing?!?!

So how do we address these issues without being prissy about it? and more importantly, is there anything I can take to control my immaturity and not laugh to the point where I would pee my pants?