I'm really not sure how I'm suppose to react to these things. I mean it's really cute, but then it's also so embarassing. I am talking about flirting. Not ME...but my kids and the way they are affected by the opposite sex.
So we have Tyler, my manly 5 year old womanizer. He's always been fascinated by breasts as are all the other little kids in this world, normal. But then he takes it a step further. This school year he has taking a liking to older women...I mean he 5 and she 25! At first it was cute. He had a huge crush on Madi's teacher, whom we shall name Abby. She was #1 gal, then we had....let's name her Betsy, and last but not least, Cindy. So he comes home and tells me he has 3 girlfriends and tells me their names. So I go to school to see who these little girls are...well I knew about Abby, then I find out the other 2 are assistant teachers of his! All VERY pretty and a bit younger than me, but MUCH older than him. OMG, my future daughter in law will probably be my age!!!
One day Abby scolds Tyler and so he dumped her. So now we have 2 girlfriends, probably a good thing because I could not keep up. My son not only thinks they are his girlfriends, but he is a stalker! There has been many instances in the hallway and we'll hear their voices and he would know it's them and "hide" in the hallway to watch out for them, or if they are around, he'll hide in a corner and watch them. But see this isn't even THAT embarassing, does he really know what attraction really is? I mean it's normal to have crushes on your teachers and maybe they just happen to be cute...
Or not. So there has been a few instances that I didn't even realize what was up until now and I'm piecing together the puzzle to his oddities. A couple that sticks out just makes me laugh so hard. We were at the Ralph Lauren Store in Maine and I go to purchase my items, I wait in line and the kids were being silly, but the silliness seem to have intensified and it's mostly Tyler doing some crazy antic that is making Madison laugh so hard. I didn't think anything of it, so when it was my turn I go to the girl and give her my items and the whole time Tyler is going back and forth behind me doing crazy little dances, singing songs, etc. After I paid and walked off, he's STILL there and the girl is now laughing and watching him, that's when it hit me. My son was actually trying to flirt with her! And Madi knew it! He must have told her that he thought that "she is gorgeous" (all his girlfriends and girls of interest are gorgeous to him) so she's watching all this and laughing. I stood there watching him...he's 5 and making a fool of himself for a girl...this is cute when you are 5...but I hope he has better moves when he's 35! A 35 year old man doing what he does will NOT be cute!
Then last night we were at the mall, and now I'm starting to get use to this kind of behavior, so I could hear him behind me acting up again. I turned to my husband and asked, "is there a pretty girl around?" His answer. "YUP! He's doing it again" OMG Tyler! Does it not matter that your mother is right here watching?!?!? The funny thing is that it works...everytime. The girl whose attention he is trying to get gives it to him everytime. And that would just make his day. oh boy kid...hope the act improves or he'll be disappoint when he reaches 7 or 8.
Now my Madi takes a more subtle approach...well in public anyways. Madison actually started having crushes on little boys when she was 4. Her first love, well that I knew of, was Luke. She was just a rookie at this back then, she would admire him from afar and played with him at school, but the minute the doors open she doesn't talk to them or even look at them...directly. Then summer camp ended and Luke was yesterday's news. This school year started and she fell in love with Andre. Andre with his dreamy eyes, now this kid will break some hearts by the time he's 9! This time it's a little different, Andre was friends with Tyler first. Although still shy she was a little more open to talking to Andre after the school doors open. His mother and I actually took them all out to lunch one day and oh boy did they have a blast. First "date" with a boy...and her brother, but she was not too nervous to eat as she had gobbled up her lunch. Hmmm....must be the new thing of the new millenium...so anyways, I took the 3 of them to the playground for a picnic one day and the 3 of them climbed into my car and I got in and was immediately ordered to put on Taylor Swift and my daughter started to sing to this boy!!! All the while giggling away from nervousness. I bet Andre was thinking holy cow! where is my mother?!? I'm stuck in this car with these chinese people and she's serenading me with Taylor Swift...argh!!!
Poor Andre. But then he was sort of "released" and that is when Danny came into the picture. Her new boy toy. So apparently she has this poor little boy wrapped around her fingers. I was told that in school if she snapped he'd come running...well that's the way it should be...right?! But right when I thought, "nice! my daughter won't let any boy run HER life", it happened. We were at TBall and it started to rain. The kids still played on and she was engaged with playing catch, so how in the hell did she notice Danny walking across the field?!?! She was then so mesmerized by him I was really scared someone was going to hit her with the ball...the girl was gone! Now this part is a new reaction from her. She immediately was giddy and jumping around and was happier than a pig in shit. One of the mom's even said "wow, I don't think I've ever seen her half this excited at tball!" and so I pointed out that flavor of the month was nearby. I could not believe that this boy could have such an affect on my baby girl. Note to self, need to explain the need to play it cool...with both my kids!
So, I'm thinking if they are starting this at 5, we are in for a LONG LONG journey and the bars will have to go up on the windows sooner than I thought.
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