"Tween" Years Starts At 6?!

As we approach the end of our kindergarten year I feel a bit of sadness. My babies are moving onto the 1st grade and are not babies any longer, they now have some "seniority" under their belts...and there is also this big lump of fear that resides right in my heart. I try and give my kids space to feel their way around and learn and meet different kids and experience different things. I want them to without being too obvious to be friends and play with different kids rather than the same ones over and over again and being apart of a clique. Our school is notorious for being like that...as I'm sure many are, but we are so very very good at it...especially the parents. I should know, I'm a product of this same exact school system.

So I try and schedule playdates with kids that Tyler would not be playing Tball with or soccer with and I do try and request that he is not in the same class with kids that he is on the same sports team with...especially if I know they get too carried away together. I know some may argue that I am preventing a close relationship, but I disagree. Being on a sports team together creates a really strong bond that does not need being in the same classes to nurture.

I hear these young boys ALREADY at the age of 6 talking about girls. Telling each other so and so is "hot." How do they know what hot means? and they FLIRT! I see the little girls looking at these boys and the boys doing the same! Granted not every little kindergartener is maturing at that rate, but there are a good handful that are and once the others start drinking that "Kool-aid" forget it! I chat with some of the other moms in Tyler's class and they tell me that their daughters go home telling them that they are going to marry so and so...and we think how cute is that?! and it's funny! Well some of us think it is...I do. Some of us think it's not so funny...oh well. But there are moments when I do see that age 6 innocence of a little boy shine through.

Today for example was a good example. "Beyblades" are the hottest toys on the market. They are glorified tops that comes with a rip cord and a release mechanism that the top is attached to. Of course there are a dozen different kinds and the kids collect them all. Toys are not allowed in the classroom, but all the kids bring them to school and play before school or after school. Tyler brings them and promises to put them in his backpack. Today, I kissed him good bye at the front door like always and he went on his way, what he didn't know was that I waited and went down to his classroom to talk to his teacher and when I did....BUSTED! He had his Beyblades out showing a friend. Although I was angry at him for disobeying, I was relieved secretly that it's not all about girls.

As I was walking down the hall to leave the school I hear a whole bunch of giggling and I look in to see in the girl's bathroom, Madison and her little girlfriends in front of the mirror playing with their hair and giggling and chit chatting about something. She has recently changed so much! She has taken this huge interest in wearing skirts and dresses and putting ribbons in her hair and wearing headbands. She wants pocketbooks and lipgloss and just everything girly. oy vay! It's very cute and what all her friends are doing and I will let her, but to a certain extent, I still make her dress appropriately for PE class on the days she has PE where as her friends are still decked out in dresses. On the flipside, they may be rubbing off some good on her as well, her reading skills has improved 110% and it's amazing!

The S bomb has also been dropped. SEX. Tyler had said something about sex and Madi started to giggle and then just flat out started to belly laugh. When he did this the first time, Kevin was playing xbox and he almost dropped the controller and I almost dropped my iphone. I did manage to keep my cool and asked him what he thought that meant. He said kissing on the lips. I did leave it at that...I just did not and could not deal with correcting him nor did I think he needed to be corrected at this point in his life. He definitely was not going to be performing this anytime soon!

So all you preschool parents out there...prepare for kindergarten! it's like Space Mountain!!!

Mommy PhD

As a new mother you don't know what to expect and so you hang by every word of the pediatrician. After the first year you get the hang of it and you have the training wheels off and you can sense things now. By the 2nd and 3rd years you are a "resident" and by 4th year and beyond, you are the real mccoy. Also, you have the Mommy gut feeling which some pediatricians don't have because they don't have children! Now some don't believe in that, but I do...totally! It's a 7th sense.

I love how medicine changes. I always thought having a 102 fever is a fever and that warrants Tylenol or SOMETHING, but nope these days it's really a fever until it's 104 or higher! Really?! I need to wait until my child is on the edge of brain damage before I give them something? So I really don't believe in that. If my kids have a fever, even if it's 101, I'll give them Tylenol. As a working mom, I don't have time to wait for them to work itself out.

Then this whole thing with ear infections. Now the doctors don't like to treat them right away. Are they serious?!? "Come back in a few days if they don't feel better and then we'll give you antibiotics" Again, who has time for this?! Good lord, and why make the child suffer through the pain when they don't have to?!?! I just don't get it.

So this past weekend we did a family field trip to BJs and as we were checking out the kids were horsing around against my advice. I looked over and Madison had run straight into a cement pole and was crying. Great. She had a scratch on her head, but no bumps and no blood. So I didn't make anything of it. On the drive home, she fell asleep in the car, typical, so again, didn't think anything of it. When we got home I made them lunch, she didn't want to eat, said her head hurt and wanted to go back to sleep. THEN I had this bad feeling that I just might be taking a trip to the ER. So without putting ideas in her head I asked her why she wanted to nap and if she was hungry, she said she was tired and was being a little whiny. Again, sort of typical of her to be whiny and milking her injury. In the middle of her sleep she turned over and said that she felt like throwing up but she wasn't going to. That's when I knew I better make a call to her PCP, so I did. The oncall nurse called me back and I described the events to her. She advised me to wake her up and take her to the ER. When we woke her up she in fact did throw up and so I took her in. When the ER pediatrician came to see her Madison was having a fit because she did not want to put on the little "johnny" and was backed into a corner crying. The dr asked "is this behavior a result from the injury?" and I had to laugh and answer "NO, she's normally this difficult." So we did compromise with her and did not make her change. I did learn at that point that with head injuries "the first one is free." I was informed that normally with these types of injuries, 4-5 hours after the accident if symptoms of headaches and vomiting does not increase to 2 or 3 times it is ok!

I can appreciate new science and medicine however there are some old school ways that I still buy into. Unless it is to improve and it has worked in the past, why change it? So I think I will use MY mommy PhD and do what works for my kids in treating fevers and injuries and insist on antibiotics for things such as ear infections when we know as a mom that there IS one there and it's NOT going away magically. And then if we come across things that are more involved than what my mommy PhD covers I'll listen to our pediatrician whole heartedly!

Rough housing...

I was in a conversation the other day with a couple of parents from other Tball teams and their kids also play soccer. Not all parents play sports, I get it, these kids are kindergartners, I get it, the kids are out there to have fun and not out for blood and I agree and I get it. However, I think these kids should be allowed to play rough, if it is allowed in the sport. Obviously, I'm not saying the kids should be fist fighting and conducting themselves in poor sportsmanship-like ways, but there is nothing wrong with being aggressive, we're playing a sport, not having tea. So the conversation went like this..."don't you think Mario was a little rough at soccer yesterday? He was like hip checking people!" I thought to myself and really didn't remember anyone in my mind playing particularly rough and responded "not really." "Yeah! I saw Mario hip checking other kids and I just thought that was not nice and it's kindergarten soccer he should not be that aggressive." At that moment her son came walking toward us crying. He had banged heads with Madison who continued playing...go figure. I yelled out "No crying in baseball, go play!" and we continue our conversation,"Well, it's soccer, are you suppose to ask for the ball?!" "No, but this kid is aggressive in the classroom too and I just feel like his parents are not responding to his aggressiveness." And as this conversation continued my kids started to argue and shove each other on the field...typical Madison and Tyler fashion. Doesn't even phase me at this point. Perhaps I'm wrong. I don't know. But these boys are playing sports and they rough house. Tyler sees his friends they automatically wrestle or tag or something physical and there's no crying involved. I mean these are BOYS, let's raise them to be men, NOT little girls! If you don't want your son to be picked on and made fun of when he gets older then do him a favor and toughen him up. And so I said something to this effect. I told her that kids these days are babied...to the extreme and when they get older and are put in situation with tougher kids they can't handle it and then they do get picked on and anti-bully rules or not it's gonna happen! I'm not saying raise your son to be a bully, but he should be able to hold his own...he definitely should not go crying to his mommy everytime something touches him. Survival of the fittest! LOL! This helps to build character. Let's toughen our kids up, teach them some independence, it's ok to rough house, it's ok to hip check, it's ok to steal the ball when playing basketball...it's in the rules!!!

Fighting words...

"MONA! blah blah blah blah......" That's all I could hear the Brian screaming at me. What was he saying? I just couldn't make it out. Why couldn't he just wait until he came over to me to tell me? What was so important that it couldn't wait?!? "WHAT?!?! I can't hear you!" He finally runs over. "I have to to ask you something." "ok" "um. Tyler said. um. Tyler said. um" Oh gawd, we'll be her forever. Spit it out kid. "Tyler said that his dad, your husband, is going to beat me with a stick if I go into your house." "No. That's not true." "yes it is! you weren't there! he said that!" "well yes, he may have said that, but Tyler's dad, my husband wouldn't beat you with a stick." And life goes on. So a few thoughts ran through my head. First. Funny. Thanks for clarifying for me that Tyler's dad is in fact my husband. Second, the fact that Tyler said this if he did say this. and third, the visualization of this happening. I know, some overly sensitive parent will read this third part and think I'm an asshole, but I really think in order to be a good parent we really need to loosen up and stop being so uptight, you'll sleep better, and your kids won't be jerks. I'm also thinking, when Brian approached me his mom was with him and it was apparent that this "conversation" the boys had was talked about at home and what was said is obviously so ridiculous that I feel it's ridiculous that she had him approach me with me. And by doing so he was being told to tattle on Tyler for saying something like that. True that Tyler should not have said that, but perhaps his mother should have given me a heads up that Tyler said this to her son and not had her son tell me...but whatever. Tyler comes home that day and I did ask him why that was said and he told me. He said that Brian was nagging him about coming over for a playdate and Tyler just didn't want to. He doesn't mind playing basketball or catch with him outside but just doesn't want him all over Tyler's stuff. However Brian insisted and was annoying Tyler and said Tyler had to allow him over so Tyler said well fine, but if you do my dad will beat you with a stick. I did tell Tyler that he should just ignore him next time and that if doesn't want to have a playdate I won't force him to, but to not say that again.

Me? A Polygamist?!

Some women wear there engagement ring and their wedding band everyday, I on the otherhand only wear it if we are going out. I just don't feel like I need to be wearing it when my day involves playing with the kids, cleaning up crap, cooking, going to school, getting the kids in and out of the car, prying things open with my fingers and sometimes fingernails if not my teeth! Now that tball season is starting and I will be coaching Tyler's team again I definitely won't be sporting the diamonds around town and the days of manicured nails, well those were gone the day they were born! I really much rather use my "spare time" to take a nap...and quite frankly in the 6 years I haven't had that free time yet... So this past weekend we were going out shopping and then dinner and so I put on my watch and rings. I was actually going to be a grown up. The kids now understanding more and more and completely wrapped up with the institution of marriage noticed right away that I had my wedding rings on again. Madison growing progressively more girly wanted to see them and so I let her try them on, that's when she realizes that they are two rings put together. GASP! "OMG Mommy! You are married to TWO people?!?!" At first I had no clue what she was talking about and then I realized why she thought that. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Who Mommy?! Who are you married to?!? Oh! I know! Are you married to LL?!?!" I could not stop laughing. My baby girl remembers that I say LL Cool J is my "boyfriend" and now she thinks I'm married to him AND her father. So she starts to ask why he doesn't live with us and if he's on vacation so I just told her yes. I know it's wrong and she'll start telling people in school that her mother is married to two people and one of them is LL. but whoever believes that has to be an idiot. Maybe now I can start my own version of "Brother Husbands" and make tons of money and live on a compound. I can just go hang out and be with flavor of the day and if one makes me angry I go on to the next. Although let's be real, 1 husband is enough to make me jump why would I want more than 1?!?

"Mommy! I'm Sexy!"

Now please remember that most everything discussed in this blog have been pinky sworn to secrecy between my children and I, but I figured by the time they find out about this blog I'm so old and decrepit that they can't hurt me any further or they are in college and need me financially that they can't hurt me yet which will give me time to run.

I am finding out from many moms that their kids don't tell them any of these things that are happening in school so I have been a source of their information and it's so funny how my kids do tell me these things, perhaps they sense my immaturity level...good or bad I'm not sure, but right now it keeps me in the know of what's up in their lives and to feed into this blog. The best is shower time. That's when I get all my news. It's like my TMZ time with my kids.

Madison for example, doesn't really say much in class. She will only talk if you force her or when you're not looking, but don't be fooled, this girl is watching. She's my observer. She's a spy. And she knows about everybody else's business. She knows what everybody is taking after school for after school programs, who is having a playdate with whom and who kissed "Brad". We also know who gets all the time outs in the class and who got spoken to for kissing "Brad". This is great kindergarten dirt.

Now Tyler has been getting increasingly active with his kindergarten class. He's on the opposite end of the spectrum. He's one of the "active" children. The other night he reported that there were 4 boys, including him that were asked by the girls to get in line so that their muscles could be felt and compared. He reported who got to felt who and one of the boys had "flat muscles". So I asked "how about you Tyler? what did your girl think of your muscles?" "Feel them mom!" and he flexes his little arm and lets me feels his muscles. Of course I made a huge deal, how cute could this be?! and he said his girl asked, "OMG Tyler! how did you do that?" "well, I do some kung fu, I exercise, and I eat my vegetables." I only found this to be the funniest thing I've ever heard as I could picture this whole scene happening in the classroom. Last night he reported that 2 of the girls went up to him and his other friend and reported that they are the sexiest boys in the class. Kindergarten! Is there a People's cover for Sexiest Kindergartner?!

Gotcha!

Why is it that every morning Madison gets a tummyache when drinking her milk? Is she lactaid intolerant? That wouldn't be surprising since I am as well. And not that it's an excuse, but mornings in my house is like a windstorm. I get them cleaned up and dressed and manage to come downstairs and I get some food on the table. The kids start to eat. I have to make sure Tyler takes all his asthma medication so that the kid can continue to breathe...that's kind of important right?! Then I start packing the snacks. On Thursdays and Fridays I have to pack an extra lunch as well as these are their long days. Then half way through I realize oh crap I forgot to slap on a little something on my face so that I don't scare ALL the kids on the way to school so I run up and at least throw on some foundation and powder and a little eyeliner so I look even and not like a monster that just crawled out from under the bed. Back downstairs to finish packing the snacks and lunches. During the winter I like to give the kids a hot lunch so I don't warm it up until it's closer to the time we leave which makes the scramble even harder. Now somewhere in this rushing I admit I'm not paying a lot of attention to the kids, so they could bury their cereal in a plant, and this is why I don't have any live plants in the house, but they could hide their cereal somewhere...but this is when Madi will start her "mommy, I have a tummy hurt!" and I don't have time to argue with her and in the back of my mind I'm thinking lactaid intolerance? and I try to argue with her to finish her milk she needs it blah blah blah, her nails will fall out, her hair will fall out, stuff will start rotting, you name it I've done and said it. I've even kept it and would make her drink it when she came home after school and made her miserable and she still puts up a show in the morning. Finally this morning I earned my Ph.D!!! "Mommy...my tummy hurt!" "Oh no Madi, I was afraid of that happening again." "Why mommy?" "because I think you might have a worm in your tummy. Your tummy hurts every morning and that means that you must have a worm" and you hear silence. "Oh...well it doesn't hurt anymore" "No Madi, I'm really scared, I need to take you to the hospital. Let's drop Tyler at school and I'm taking you right away. I don't want the worm to get too big. Bring your babies incase you have to stay overnight. Sometimes if the worm is too big they have to operate to get it out. oh my poor baby! I'm so scared for you!" "No mom, I'm just kidding, it doesnt' hurt! Tyler's tummy hurt!" and you hear Tyler yelling "NO it doesn't!!!! I finished my milk!!!" And today on April Fools Day I have earned my Ph.D in Madison Psychology.