So I get it. Not all of us, including myself, are big morning eaters, but the kids know they have to go to school and they don't get snack time until about 10ish or so and that's too late for their first meal. Snack time really isn't a meal, they get 5 minutes to choke down some fruit or a some crackers, so if you skip breakfast and wait until then, a piece of fruit, or a cracker will not cut it. I don't make my kids eat a huge breakfast, normally a half a cup of milk and cereal, or scrambled eggs, or piece of toast with peanutbutter. Just something small.
The past two days Madison has been refusing breakfast. "NO! I don't want to eat nothing!" "ok then, you'll be hungry!" "I don't care!" Yesterday, I had poured out a bowl of cereal for her and already had the milk in it and so when she sat there pouting in front of it I took the bowl away and I continued to prepare their lunchboxes and I waited until the cereal turned into mush. THEN I said "Madi, this is your last chance to eat if you don't eat you will starve."
"ok..."
I walked over and put the bowl of really gross mushy cereal in front of her. You couldn't pay me money to eat that! and I watched her touch it with her spoon and looked at me like I was nuts. I didn't look at her and continued to keep "busy." She ate her cereal...gross! and brought her bowl to the kitchen. I informed her this is the last time she gets a second chance, next time she doesn't eat when I tell her to she will go to school hungry and she said ok.
So today we go down for breakfast. "Ok guys! What would you like for breakfast? Apple oatmeal? cereal? eggs?"
Tyler "cinnamon toast crunch!"
Madi "nothing!"
Me "Madi you will be hungry then!"
Madi "No I won't!" I was fuming. Wiseass!
That's when her father comes in "c'mon Madi, stop being so difficult! You have to eat breakfast!"
Me: "Well it's too late, I only offer once."
So my daughter was sent to school today without any breakfast. She'll probably eat the plastic off the lunchbox she'll be so hungry by lunchtime, but this will teach HER a lesson...hopefully. I informed her teacher of this morning's episode so that she was aware of why she would be so hungry at snack time and she too thought this would teach her a lesson...hopefully.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Independence Day!
So today is day 3 of back to school and Madison actually did not bitch about going to school last night or this morning! yippee!!!! Nor did she nag about going to grandma and grandpa's house after school! Holy cow!!! I'm thinking I can not talk about this outloud and jinx myself so I will have to just write about it here. Perhaps my daughter has been possessed by a non nagging child? do those even exist? I think my Madison is growing up finally! I KNOW Tyler is! He's going to kindergarten on his own now, doesn't need me to walk him to class, he goes on his own, gets himself undressed and stuff in his locker and his bum into the classroom.
It's funny how I realize that kids all have their own little quirks and we as parents do just need accept which quirks are personality differences and which quirks can be and SHOULD be altered and/or corrected. Like this morning for example, I was standing back waiting for Madison to get her self "undressed", meaning coat in her locker, hats and gloves and scarf in her locker, lunchbox away and got her folder and water bottle out to bring in with her. I dont help her so that she has that independence part at least. But then I notice that another little girl who goes into school on her own at the locker next to Madison was standing there talking to Madison was scratching her little bum...but she was wearing a little skirt and pantyhose and she was scratching her bum with her pantyhose almost pulled down...well pulled down enough so that her bum was exposed! In the hallway! So these may be behaviors that should be addressed. i'm huge on manners. These behaviors need to be addressed. I know as my kids were growing and had the speech delays I used to force them to say Hi and address ppl they knew and their teachers would ask me not to force them...I disagreed.
I think it's important for us as parents to help our kids to grow up and be a part of society and help improve society. We should not be enabling them to drag society down. We should not be allowing them to be spoiled. Yes we should give them opportunities we were not given, but that should help them to better themselves to the opposite. I see kids who can not at the age of 4 feed themselves because their parents or nannies do it for them! why? kids who can not dress themselves. Then we have the older breastfeeders. We laugh when we see them. Are we really breastfeeding them for their health? Maybe...but what about their mental health? I just watched "Grown Ups" and one of the kids was like 5 and still breastfeeding which brought back a memory I had of a kid who did that right in front of me on a commuter train! This was BC times for me (Before Children). Was the mother being selfish? Does she really need to feel like she was so needed that she was going to make her grown child continue to breastfeed instead of helping him/her to be on their own? I mean for real!
Parents work a lot, and with that comes a lot of guilt. I feel it. To compensate we want to give our kids everything but we have to remember what that is doing to our children. I'm guilty of this. I have taken my kids on a couple of vacations, but nothing crazy...and yes they have a vast selection of video games. However they do still remember who is in charge. They knew how to act in a restaurant or not to act. Kids will be kids and they need to be kids, but there needs to be boundaries set and I think parents forget that sometimes. We can't be their friends, we are their parents.
Kids are so smart at such a young age, they know which buttons to push and if you let them do something once oh boy they will expect it time and time again. Example: my brother had let my kids change the dvd on the dvd player once at his house. From that day on they would go and push the buttons on the dvd player, he says no they still did it, because he let them do it before, and so he went through the pangs of having to say no everytime they went over there. At home they know that they are not to touch the tv OR the dvd player and we never had that problem. We never had to get tv button guards for our tv or any of that.
Help your kids grow up independent!
It's funny how I realize that kids all have their own little quirks and we as parents do just need accept which quirks are personality differences and which quirks can be and SHOULD be altered and/or corrected. Like this morning for example, I was standing back waiting for Madison to get her self "undressed", meaning coat in her locker, hats and gloves and scarf in her locker, lunchbox away and got her folder and water bottle out to bring in with her. I dont help her so that she has that independence part at least. But then I notice that another little girl who goes into school on her own at the locker next to Madison was standing there talking to Madison was scratching her little bum...but she was wearing a little skirt and pantyhose and she was scratching her bum with her pantyhose almost pulled down...well pulled down enough so that her bum was exposed! In the hallway! So these may be behaviors that should be addressed. i'm huge on manners. These behaviors need to be addressed. I know as my kids were growing and had the speech delays I used to force them to say Hi and address ppl they knew and their teachers would ask me not to force them...I disagreed.
I think it's important for us as parents to help our kids to grow up and be a part of society and help improve society. We should not be enabling them to drag society down. We should not be allowing them to be spoiled. Yes we should give them opportunities we were not given, but that should help them to better themselves to the opposite. I see kids who can not at the age of 4 feed themselves because their parents or nannies do it for them! why? kids who can not dress themselves. Then we have the older breastfeeders. We laugh when we see them. Are we really breastfeeding them for their health? Maybe...but what about their mental health? I just watched "Grown Ups" and one of the kids was like 5 and still breastfeeding which brought back a memory I had of a kid who did that right in front of me on a commuter train! This was BC times for me (Before Children). Was the mother being selfish? Does she really need to feel like she was so needed that she was going to make her grown child continue to breastfeed instead of helping him/her to be on their own? I mean for real!
Parents work a lot, and with that comes a lot of guilt. I feel it. To compensate we want to give our kids everything but we have to remember what that is doing to our children. I'm guilty of this. I have taken my kids on a couple of vacations, but nothing crazy...and yes they have a vast selection of video games. However they do still remember who is in charge. They knew how to act in a restaurant or not to act. Kids will be kids and they need to be kids, but there needs to be boundaries set and I think parents forget that sometimes. We can't be their friends, we are their parents.
Kids are so smart at such a young age, they know which buttons to push and if you let them do something once oh boy they will expect it time and time again. Example: my brother had let my kids change the dvd on the dvd player once at his house. From that day on they would go and push the buttons on the dvd player, he says no they still did it, because he let them do it before, and so he went through the pangs of having to say no everytime they went over there. At home they know that they are not to touch the tv OR the dvd player and we never had that problem. We never had to get tv button guards for our tv or any of that.
Help your kids grow up independent!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Night and Day...
My twins are really like night and day. Tyler who I thought was going to be the "momma's boy" is growing up to be the more independent little man, going off to kindergarten by himself and just becoming quite the social butterfly. Madison, on the otherhand...my first one to walk and so I thought "she'll be the first one to fly the coop" has come back! and has come backwards and reverted. She is now again having separation anxiety, or well what seems to be separation anxiety from me.
So I thought about it long and hard and thought that perhaps it because I am always working and my time spent with her is limited. It's tough since I am a mortgage broker and sometimes when my phone rings, it rings and I have to take a call...and my kids know this. They have been growing up with this since birth. I've never had a nanny and have juggled this with my kids and we just make do, and I have to admit that they have been as cooperative as I can expect from twins of young age. I remember when they were still 3 and 4 years old and the minute I got on the phone with a client they kids would whip open the freezer and the popsicles would fly out and there was nothing I could do...but that was ok :) and I digress... So this winter vacation we were not going anywhere, and it's traditionally slow at work so I spent the 2 weeks devoted to my kids. We played Scrabble Jr, Wii, Guess Who?, went sledding, built snowmen, and watched movies. It was great, both kids were happy, and she seemed really happy. This was great, but reality is that we can't stay a single income family year round so back to real life...
It's just so frustrating because I thought by now they would have out grown it and when she was doing so well! She now begins to cry the night before she knows she has school or girl scouts because she knows she'll be away from me. I tell her she's silly and that I'm always there to pick her back up and so she needs to stop the craziness. I know she is trying to play me and she IS persistent, I give her that, but she is going...I don't care how much she cries. So I pick my battles. In 2011, I will not bug her about her overnight pull ups, I will not bug her about walking into her school alone, all I ask is that she does not bitch and moan and cry about going to school and girl scouts. I need her to try and relax and enjoy this time as a kid. The minute she does bitch and moan about going to school or Girl Scouts I will not accompany her into the school. Maybe she isn't like me all loud and obnoxious, or her brother who wants to play with friends and do sports. I'll just accept her for being a "homebody" and let her stay by my side...I guess there is nothing "wrong" with that...right? We just live in this world now where kids all have these activities and schedules where they are busier than their parents and I have come to realize and remember that when I was younger I didn't. I was lucky to have 1 sport or an afterschool activity...Madison doesnt even want to do that...but fine, that's her. We'll see how well this works.
So I thought about it long and hard and thought that perhaps it because I am always working and my time spent with her is limited. It's tough since I am a mortgage broker and sometimes when my phone rings, it rings and I have to take a call...and my kids know this. They have been growing up with this since birth. I've never had a nanny and have juggled this with my kids and we just make do, and I have to admit that they have been as cooperative as I can expect from twins of young age. I remember when they were still 3 and 4 years old and the minute I got on the phone with a client they kids would whip open the freezer and the popsicles would fly out and there was nothing I could do...but that was ok :) and I digress... So this winter vacation we were not going anywhere, and it's traditionally slow at work so I spent the 2 weeks devoted to my kids. We played Scrabble Jr, Wii, Guess Who?, went sledding, built snowmen, and watched movies. It was great, both kids were happy, and she seemed really happy. This was great, but reality is that we can't stay a single income family year round so back to real life...
It's just so frustrating because I thought by now they would have out grown it and when she was doing so well! She now begins to cry the night before she knows she has school or girl scouts because she knows she'll be away from me. I tell her she's silly and that I'm always there to pick her back up and so she needs to stop the craziness. I know she is trying to play me and she IS persistent, I give her that, but she is going...I don't care how much she cries. So I pick my battles. In 2011, I will not bug her about her overnight pull ups, I will not bug her about walking into her school alone, all I ask is that she does not bitch and moan and cry about going to school and girl scouts. I need her to try and relax and enjoy this time as a kid. The minute she does bitch and moan about going to school or Girl Scouts I will not accompany her into the school. Maybe she isn't like me all loud and obnoxious, or her brother who wants to play with friends and do sports. I'll just accept her for being a "homebody" and let her stay by my side...I guess there is nothing "wrong" with that...right? We just live in this world now where kids all have these activities and schedules where they are busier than their parents and I have come to realize and remember that when I was younger I didn't. I was lucky to have 1 sport or an afterschool activity...Madison doesnt even want to do that...but fine, that's her. We'll see how well this works.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
And Now We Are Black?
The elementary school has this great school wide project where each student draws a picture of their family, and this picture is hung up around the school. It's awesome to see everyone's families "hanging around" and really makes it a community. So I was really excited when we received the assignment for us to create this picture so that our family can be hung up and be a part of the community.
"Ok Madi! Remember all those pictures of the kids' families hanging in the school? Well it's your turn now to draw US!" So exciting!!!
"Ok Mommy, anything?"
"YES, anything," so I left her to her creation.
After about 30 minutes of really hard work she comes to me "Mom! I'm done! Do you like it?"
I had no idea what to say. It was great! The details were awesome. I could see how she was growing with her drawings, she drew me and her with longer hair and Tyler and her father with shorter hair and we all had clothes on....but we were all brown. It was really really cute and I loved the pictured. But as I wrote our name: WONG on the very top with these 4 very brown people below it just made me giggle really hard! This picture will stay with us until they leave...in the 5th grade! At some point we will be asked if we are really a black Chinese family...LOL!
I did not bring this to her attention but I do find it funny. You have to understand that when I was at that same elementary school with predominantly Jewish children and other than my 2 cousins and 2 other kids were only chinese kids in the school. So I grew thinking I was Jewish and boy was I in for rude awakening when I did not get Bat Mitzvahed! And to be Chinese on top of that! Awkward!!! and now my daughter in one picture has made us THE Black Chinese family of Newton MA. Thank god I am now 36 and can handle it :)
"Ok Madi! Remember all those pictures of the kids' families hanging in the school? Well it's your turn now to draw US!" So exciting!!!
"Ok Mommy, anything?"
"YES, anything," so I left her to her creation.
After about 30 minutes of really hard work she comes to me "Mom! I'm done! Do you like it?"
I had no idea what to say. It was great! The details were awesome. I could see how she was growing with her drawings, she drew me and her with longer hair and Tyler and her father with shorter hair and we all had clothes on....but we were all brown. It was really really cute and I loved the pictured. But as I wrote our name: WONG on the very top with these 4 very brown people below it just made me giggle really hard! This picture will stay with us until they leave...in the 5th grade! At some point we will be asked if we are really a black Chinese family...LOL!
I did not bring this to her attention but I do find it funny. You have to understand that when I was at that same elementary school with predominantly Jewish children and other than my 2 cousins and 2 other kids were only chinese kids in the school. So I grew thinking I was Jewish and boy was I in for rude awakening when I did not get Bat Mitzvahed! And to be Chinese on top of that! Awkward!!! and now my daughter in one picture has made us THE Black Chinese family of Newton MA. Thank god I am now 36 and can handle it :)
Friday, November 19, 2010
Cutting the Umbilical Cord...again.
It's done initially when the kids are first born when we are at the hospital, at home, in the car, side of a highway or wherever you happen to be when your bundle of joy decide to join you in this world. You then embrace this child into your bosom and he's yours to raise, to love and to protect. You are his protector, his shield. In the protection of your home he's fine.
Then some of us send our prized possessions out to daycare and the cord is then cut again so to speak...but even then you still have some control. These people are being paid and you have choice of where you place your child and you can choose to place your child in a lower ratio environment so that your child continues to receive the attention and protection he needs right? or some of us choose to get hire a nanny and that's even better! don't really need to cut the cord again, you just get an extension. phew!
Ok, so then we get to preschool. We bring them into the school and and the ratios get a little higher and what ?! they are NOT THE MOST important but 1 of 15 in the class?! and we find that when they come home they may not be wearing ALL the layers they went in with and you learn to adjust and accept and to breathe. And we cut the cord...again. We need to let them grow up. We walk them into school and we pick them up. We make sure they leave us and into the hands of the teacher and then back into our arms, all safe. Great.
Now we are in Kindergarten. Ratios are higher. WAY more kids in the school. Bigger and rougher kids and mine are just babies! Reel that cord back in! In fact, back in the womb! We walk to school every morning and we walk to their lockers together and they get unpacked and a kiss and into the classrooms and they are safe. Ok. snip! cautiously...but I'll cut the cord again. Today, the principal comes down during drop off and announces that she thinks it's time that parents should think about letting go and letting our kindergartners...OUR BABIES...come to school ON THEIR OWN! DROP OFF AT THE DOOR!!!! Cords back on and reeling...They may be ready...but I'm really not sure if I am ready. These are my babies! It was only last month that Tyler shoved all his stuff into the wrong locker!
I need to come to grips. I know I need to cut the cord for good. I know I have to let them go and be big girls and boys. I didn't cry the first day of kindergarten, but I just might cry now! Maybe I can let them go in and I'll sneak around and make sure they got in ok? I'll probably get discovered by a teacher and they'll call security and have me arrested, I'll have to crawl through the vent space. Note: need to diet now so I don't get stuck in the vents!!!
Then some of us send our prized possessions out to daycare and the cord is then cut again so to speak...but even then you still have some control. These people are being paid and you have choice of where you place your child and you can choose to place your child in a lower ratio environment so that your child continues to receive the attention and protection he needs right? or some of us choose to get hire a nanny and that's even better! don't really need to cut the cord again, you just get an extension. phew!
Ok, so then we get to preschool. We bring them into the school and and the ratios get a little higher and what ?! they are NOT THE MOST important but 1 of 15 in the class?! and we find that when they come home they may not be wearing ALL the layers they went in with and you learn to adjust and accept and to breathe. And we cut the cord...again. We need to let them grow up. We walk them into school and we pick them up. We make sure they leave us and into the hands of the teacher and then back into our arms, all safe. Great.
Now we are in Kindergarten. Ratios are higher. WAY more kids in the school. Bigger and rougher kids and mine are just babies! Reel that cord back in! In fact, back in the womb! We walk to school every morning and we walk to their lockers together and they get unpacked and a kiss and into the classrooms and they are safe. Ok. snip! cautiously...but I'll cut the cord again. Today, the principal comes down during drop off and announces that she thinks it's time that parents should think about letting go and letting our kindergartners...OUR BABIES...come to school ON THEIR OWN! DROP OFF AT THE DOOR!!!! Cords back on and reeling...They may be ready...but I'm really not sure if I am ready. These are my babies! It was only last month that Tyler shoved all his stuff into the wrong locker!
I need to come to grips. I know I need to cut the cord for good. I know I have to let them go and be big girls and boys. I didn't cry the first day of kindergarten, but I just might cry now! Maybe I can let them go in and I'll sneak around and make sure they got in ok? I'll probably get discovered by a teacher and they'll call security and have me arrested, I'll have to crawl through the vent space. Note: need to diet now so I don't get stuck in the vents!!!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Dora saves the Day!
It's Monday morning and a week away from Madi and Tyler's big birthday party. Can I use it for leverage to get just 1 good week out of them? Tyler I'm not so worried about, Madi...she's the one I would love just 1 good week out of. "Madi brush your teeth." no answer. "Madi, brush your teeth". no answer. "Madi, your party is cancelled". "ok! ok! just one minute and I'm only brushing the bottom ones." This is going to be a long long week.
So we're standing in the bathroom and after much debate she brushes her hair and I'm applying some make up so I don't scare the whole entire schoolyard and I matter or factly tell her, "oh I got an email from Santa." "What Santa say?" "Oh, nothing, he just wanted to know what Tyler wanted for Xmas." (I'm watching her reaction in the mirror and she thinks I'm just applying makeup) "what about me?!" "I dunno!" and her face was so angry!
and then we had a mini prego pause...and i said..."oh gawd Madi, did you get on the naughty list?!?" "NO! i didn't!" "well I dunno..maybe he'll email me later...that's weird" and we let the subject drop.
Later on downstairs she brings it back up and then she tells me, "well mom, I don't care if I'm not on Santa's list." "You don't?!" "No, cuz I know Dora will fix it." I think blood was streaming down my lips as I am biting down so hard to keep from laughing so hard. "What are you talking about? How is Dora going to fix it?" "Well mom, Dora saves Christmas all the time, didn't you see it last year? so don't worry, Dora will save Christmas and I will be on Santa's Christmas list."
Hmmmmm....I hope someone emails Dora this! This girl thinks Dora is going to save her....does she even realize that both Dora AND Santa don't exist?!?! Boy will she feel stupid when she's 12!
So we're standing in the bathroom and after much debate she brushes her hair and I'm applying some make up so I don't scare the whole entire schoolyard and I matter or factly tell her, "oh I got an email from Santa." "What Santa say?" "Oh, nothing, he just wanted to know what Tyler wanted for Xmas." (I'm watching her reaction in the mirror and she thinks I'm just applying makeup) "what about me?!" "I dunno!" and her face was so angry!
and then we had a mini prego pause...and i said..."oh gawd Madi, did you get on the naughty list?!?" "NO! i didn't!" "well I dunno..maybe he'll email me later...that's weird" and we let the subject drop.
Later on downstairs she brings it back up and then she tells me, "well mom, I don't care if I'm not on Santa's list." "You don't?!" "No, cuz I know Dora will fix it." I think blood was streaming down my lips as I am biting down so hard to keep from laughing so hard. "What are you talking about? How is Dora going to fix it?" "Well mom, Dora saves Christmas all the time, didn't you see it last year? so don't worry, Dora will save Christmas and I will be on Santa's Christmas list."
Hmmmmm....I hope someone emails Dora this! This girl thinks Dora is going to save her....does she even realize that both Dora AND Santa don't exist?!?! Boy will she feel stupid when she's 12!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
When does the "filter" develop???
So it's been crazy which is why I haven't written..but I just had to share this.
This morning my neighbor has an emergency and asks me to take her son up to school when we go, not a problem since he's in Madi's class. Madi hears this and starts to groan "that kid talks so much! omg!" Is this girl serious?! This coming from a girl who won't shut up sometimes...yet has a speech delay, go figure! So our little friend shows up and we're still getting our coats and shoes on for school so our friend waits for us to get dressed and we're in the mudroom area connected to our garage and the garage door was shut. So the kids are chatting away. They talk about how they have a garage too and Madi tells him that the other night we were watching Dancing with the Stars and the results of the election and "mommy doesn't want, um...what's his name mommy?"
"who madi?"
"you know that man you don't like when we were watching Dancing with the Stars?"
"Barney Frank"
"yeah Barney Frank! cuz now my mommy will get fired!"
I laughed and said "No, mommy won't get fired, but it's not as good for mommy's work"
"Yeah! We don't like him!"
And she tells all this to the poor kid she complains talks too much and who probably didn't care what is good for Madi's mommy's job!
So we finally finished, coats, hats, gloves, shoes and the garage door opens so we can walk to school.
Well, the minute the door opens we see Lou.
Tyler to our friend "do you know Lou?! He's annoying right?"
Madi to our friend at the same time "we don't like Lou!"
Our friend...well let's just say the poor thing's head was spinning I think.
Kids can be so cruel, it's awful. But then again there are kids who are annoying and deserves it...
So just in case Lou didn't hear what they said really loud about him, they chased him up the street saying they won't play with him anymore. Thank god Halloween is over I really don't want our house egged!
This morning my neighbor has an emergency and asks me to take her son up to school when we go, not a problem since he's in Madi's class. Madi hears this and starts to groan "that kid talks so much! omg!" Is this girl serious?! This coming from a girl who won't shut up sometimes...yet has a speech delay, go figure! So our little friend shows up and we're still getting our coats and shoes on for school so our friend waits for us to get dressed and we're in the mudroom area connected to our garage and the garage door was shut. So the kids are chatting away. They talk about how they have a garage too and Madi tells him that the other night we were watching Dancing with the Stars and the results of the election and "mommy doesn't want, um...what's his name mommy?"
"who madi?"
"you know that man you don't like when we were watching Dancing with the Stars?"
"Barney Frank"
"yeah Barney Frank! cuz now my mommy will get fired!"
I laughed and said "No, mommy won't get fired, but it's not as good for mommy's work"
"Yeah! We don't like him!"
And she tells all this to the poor kid she complains talks too much and who probably didn't care what is good for Madi's mommy's job!
So we finally finished, coats, hats, gloves, shoes and the garage door opens so we can walk to school.
Well, the minute the door opens we see Lou.
Tyler to our friend "do you know Lou?! He's annoying right?"
Madi to our friend at the same time "we don't like Lou!"
Our friend...well let's just say the poor thing's head was spinning I think.
Kids can be so cruel, it's awful. But then again there are kids who are annoying and deserves it...
So just in case Lou didn't hear what they said really loud about him, they chased him up the street saying they won't play with him anymore. Thank god Halloween is over I really don't want our house egged!
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