Year in review...

I can't believe how quickly this year flew by. It was quite the busy year which is why I barely had time to write...1st grade just kicked my ass. Homework is just a bitch. Not hard work just have to find the patience within myself to help them and not do it for them. My advice to moms with multiples out there is to not take the easy way out. Don't put them in the same class, I found that it helped to build each of their confidence levels to be able to help each other out because you will find that one will have better reading skills and the other math skills, so it's nice for them to balance each other out in that way.

For 2 kids who started off in early intervention and needing speech therapy for lack of speech we are now what I call "over speeched!" Madi comes home and reports back to me about everything and everyone. In face some of the moms call me to ask about what's going on the classroom...or rather asks Madi because THEIR kids don't tell them anything! It's very cool to see how these kids blossom as they are midway through the 1st grade, no longer the lowest in the totem pole. They are now familiar with the school and with the teachers.

I went in to work with Tyler's class for a holiday project and was their for one of the little girl's show and tell. She brought in her make up collection and her brushes. I was so jealous! It was a beautiful collection and I asked for a playdate. 1st grade. These girls are growing up to 18 overnight. Madi is aware of a boy in her class who has a crush on her. She comes home and tells me he looks at her everyday and she runs. Everyone tells her he thinks she's cute. I ask her if he knows she doesn't brush her hair and she tells me she thinks so. So no motivation there for her to perhaps brush her hair without prompting from me since she has admirers without having to brush her hair...need a new angle.

Tyler has finally backed off the older women in the school I think...I do hear him and his buddies whispering about boobs and nipples. I guess boys will be boys and when they are playing sports and hanging around older boys that will happen. I try not to make the topic taboo at home. I want him to come and ask me questions rather than going out and getting the wrong answers. He tells me the other day that he can't wait to be a grown up. He wants to be able to say the F word, the SH word and the B word. My son continues to aim high!

We continue to try and decipher Madison. She is definitely my difficult child and pushes us to our limits. My guess is that I will be admitted to the Betty Ford clinic before she graduates from elementary school...I'm thinking perhaps we should move to Kentucky where it's ok to married off young!

Birthday Hell

Turning 7. I can't believe we are planning our 7th birthdays and it's getting to the point where I feel like we are planning a mini wedding. Do you remember that episode of the Brady Bunch where if we invite the Ditmeyers then we have to invite the Browns and if we invite the Browns then we have to invite the Smiths and so on and so on...and that was for a bbq. This is the samething. And it's like ok the kids have become friends with kids and now separated in 1st grade and with 2 kids I can't mentally and financially host 2 parties back to back for 20+ kids each party and plus kids outside of school! That's insanity! and then there is the issue of where we have it. We can't have it at home, because the house is not large enough for 20 kids and we are November birthdays so outside is not an option, plus the husband is anal retentive so I would just rather not hear it, thank you very much.

So I start of with a guest list to see how many kids we are dealing with and try and steer the kids in the right direction and make sure we are not leaving anyone out. I looked into a few options. And I need to point out that I am just appalled at some of these prices...I mean I just feel like I've been raped by just LOOKING at them on the website! So a certain place that shall remain anonymous, but you basically go there and the kids jump around. They advertise that they can play games, 3D Dodgeball!, and you get a private room for cake and pizza...you get i think 3 pizzas, and all this for $18/head on the weekends. It's less on the weekdays. Well how many has a weekday party and really?! $18/head to jump around on a trampoline?! Man! I'd like to shake the hand of that genious who came up with this. People are paying it. it's insane.

Then I have my own issues where I need things to match...and I get a bit crazed, but I admit it. If the invitations don't match the cake, napkins and goodie bags, then everything changes. And also, I can't pay full price. I have twins! I'm paying for 2 sets of everything!!! and yes yes, I know people have more than 1 or even 2 kids, but to do it all at once is a bit harsh. So after much finagling I have settled and convinced the kids that Madison is doing a princess theme at a place where they paint with her girls and Tyler will have a sports theme and doing laser tag with his guys.

I suspect that these birthdays will only get worse as we get older. However I think as we get older we will narrow the guestlist down to the BFFs and smaller but meaningful events.

The Mean Girls Club

It has been a crazy start to the 1st grade that is for sure. What a transition for ME from kindergarten to 1st. We now have homework which I have to get accustomed to. It's not difficult work obviously, but it's more discipline on me as a mom. I feel like I am being watched. So we have these reading logs we have to sign. The kids are to read 15-20 mins every night, write down the name of the book read, if they read it themselves, we read it , or a sibling did and then we sign it! and I know if I said we did that my kids would rat me out in a second...especially Madi!

And I have been trying to get in the habit of making myself come out of my home office early and checking for homework and helping them while preparing dinner and getting them showered. Instead of realizing it at 830PM and saying "oh just f*ck me there's homework!" ugh! One night I was exhausted and was gross and had to take a shower and of course Tyler announces "oh yeah, I have homework!" wonderful! it was a color by number. So I explain it to him and set him up at his table. I tell his father and he responds with "well what is it?!" I tell him it's a color by number. "What do I do?" Did he seriously ask me "What do I do?!" Did I want to punch him in the face? yes. so I explained it to him just as I did to his first grade son. Jump in the shower come out. He's on the computer. Tyler has colored in one shape. Again...just f*ck me now! As Tyler would say "cheese n rice!"

Today Madi comes home and shows me this list. It was a list of all the kids in her class. She then shows me how she and her girlfriend has made columns and labeled the columns "gff" that was originally "bff", but bff means boyfriend so they changed it to gff. So I had to explain to her the meaning of a bff. There were a few other silly columns but the one that stuck out was the "D" column. What does "D" stand for you ask? the "D" stands for decide. The girls need to decide if that child is someone they like or not and therefore a friend. I believe this is the start of "The Mean Girls Club"

As we finished dinner and were cleaning up she tells me, "Mommy, I think Kyle is going to be in the "D" column." ME: "really? I like Kyle, I don't think he should be in the "D" column." She looks at me and does it anyway. Looks like she will be the president of "The Mean Girls Club"

Selective Osmosis

We are in a society where we are constantly watching our weight. I know I am forever "on a diet", it's just the norm. My brother is always going to the gym and coming home and saying he is watching what he eats and wants to only eat healthy and so the kids are picking up all this through osmosis. Kids have what I call "selective osmosis". It's similar to selective hearing. They just soak in the wrong info. So their uncle is playing sports and stays in shape to do so and so Tyler picks up on it as he is just starting his soccer season right now. This is a great thing. He is conscientious about what he puts in his mouth, he "tries" to avoid fatty foods, pizza and candy does not count. However he does understand that it is important that he stays active and gets his exercise. Ok. Great!

Well we were in line at the Stop & Shop last weekend and it was busy, there were quite a few ladies in front of us. We're standing and I had glanced at the magazine racks...of all the magazines, Tyler HAD to comment on the one I was pretty grossed out at myself. It was the National Enquirer and I don't even know who it was but it was not a flattering shot and it was from behind of some in a bikini. There was cellulite on cellulite on cellulite. Just not nice. Tyler points out and tells me pretty loudly "Mom! That lady needs to workout!" The problem with that was that every "lady" in front of us TURNED AROUND!!! Did I want to be buried right there in the floor of Stop & Shop? yes! This is something that he has picked up through "selective osmosis" from his uncle.

Everyday after school I ask the kids, "how was school today?" and they either answer fine or not good. Either way I probe. Can't be just fine, SOMETHING had to have happened! What did you do? blah blah blah. So Madison tells me that a reading teacher had come into her classroom. I said that was exciting! Getting extra help for the class to learn how to read was awesome...and Tyler chimes in "yeah, she came in our class too...the girl was kinda cute." I ask, "what girl?" I was a bit horrified. I knew the reading specialist was going in, but she was much older than me AND she was definitely NOT cute! He replied "the teacher!" and thats when I found out there was an assistant...my son only saw the assistant...didn't see the REAL teacher...

oy vay!

First Day of 1st Grade!

Here we are...it took 6 years and many days of whine and cheese, but full day school. Got the twins up and dressed and we could still hear the snoring in the background...their father had taken the day off for the 1st day of school festivities...glad he could help! Getting back into the swing of things is hard after a whole summer off.


So I got the kids breakfast, got snacks packed, supplies packed and we're ready to go...oh wait...Daddy is not ready. Really? Cheese n rice! Why are we always waiting for him??? So finally he's ready and we go and we walk to school. As we approach the school we begin to see old friends that we haven't seen all summer. Tyler is excited to see people and is waving hello and talking to some kids and takes off for his classroom. Madison had her normal anxiety and was hiding behind me and wouldn't say hi or even wave to anyone. As we walked down the hallway and Madison was shooting her darts of poison from her eyes, I was surprised people didn't start falling down to their knees.

She has this look on her face...this look of just disgust, she just doesn't hide her feelings, that's for sure! So we found her locker and put her stuff inside and took her folders and supplies into the classroom. Met Ms. L her teacher and then we were instructed to find our way around the classroom and put our supplies in the correct bins for the class to share and to put her name on her folders. So we did this and met old friends along the way and of course Madi was less than pleased to see them...or at least she appeared this way. As this was happening, I had instructed the boys, Tyler and his Dad to go to Tyler's class and get settled, emergency forms dropped off and yada yada yada...but as Madi and I were moving along I turned around to find the boys right behind us! Oy vay! Tyler was eager to go to his class but I think Dad had anxiety too! Did I have triplets??? good god! Cheese n rice! and then I hear the bell ring! by now I was no longer shvetzing, I was full blown sweating! I had said to one of the moms I am sweating! and she replied no here we shvetz! and I said oh no girl, I am way beyond shvetz, I am sweating!!! So I kissed Madi goodbye and sat her down with her dear friend Matthew to play dominoes. God bless Matthew, Madi's knight in shining armour!

I went into Tyler's room just in time to give him a quick kiss and a hug to wish him a great first day and pray that everything got to wear it needed to go...

After school...we came home Dad was in charge as I was working from home. The kids were home from 12-5 with him and I was in my home office before I came back up to realize "where is Tyler's lunchbox?" No one knew. Day 1 and missing lunchbox. Dad cleaned up 1 lunchbox and didn't ask where #2 was. Breathe. I went through the backpacks to see what came home, more forms...oh! and the emergency forms I had already filled out for Tyler and Dad was suppose to drop off when he was in charge of dropping of Tyler that morning...breathe...but running out of air. HE'S exhausted from the 1st day of school activities and doing dishes and taking care of the kids...which was watching a movie with them all afternoon...breathe...oh wait can't...no air!

and She's Not Even 7 Yet...

It's not like I leave my kids to fend for themselves and let them starve. Tyler had a doctor's appointment yesterday in the middle of the day and so instead of me taking them to my mom's house where they normally go for the day and then have to pick them up only a few hours later for the appointment, I just kept them at home with me. We had a really nice morning, we had breakfast together, the kids did what they wanted, played games, etc. Then they wanted to help me, so I had them help me stuff some envelopes for a mailing I was preparing. It all worked out great. Then we left for the doctor's appointment, but before the appointment I wanted to stop by my office to get the mailings stamped and sent out and Madison knew this so she got her Hello Kitty sparkly purse and brushed her hair. She NEVER brushes her hair!

We got to my office and they were very pleasant. I did what I needed to do and we left. They did well at the doctor's office as well and then we went home. At home we had lunch and dessert then they settled down to watch tv and I went down to my home office to get some work done. About 30 minutes later Madi comes down and asks for ice cream. I hold up my finger to signal for 1 minute as I was on the phone. They know at an early age that when I have a phone in my ear you can't disturb mommy and now that they are almost 7, they should know better. Especially when it's my office phone. So she goes upstairs and comes back down after a few minutes and beginnings to go off on me! "No! you said 1 minute and that was a long time ago! You get me ice cream NOW!"

Whoa! Is she serious? 1. She can't be hungry 2. Even if she was she can't be THAT hungry 3. There are kids hungrier...especially when she just had lunch. 4. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT and last but not least 5. I AM HER FREAKING MOTHER AND SHE SHOULD NEVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT EVER!!!!!

So of course that resulted in her getting NO ice cream and me breathing really really hard in my office counting to 10 about 500 times. After I calmed down I explained to her again that when mommy is on the phone with a client that she must wait patiently until I am done. She is also never to talk to me or anyone else for that matter in that tone! Not acceptable. So she said yes she understood.

This morning she had breakfast, all was dandy. I had to take care of a few emails and concentrate on something real quick and she wanted a 3rd piece of toast. ok fine. Just give me a minute. I come upstairs to find that she had flipped our dining room chair onto the floor! Is she serious?! She was gonna have a bar fight in my dining room? I was ready to kill her! 830am in my diningroom with a chair flipped on the floor. i told her i was going to take a picture of it and send it to her father and her 1st grade teacher and she flipped out and tried to put the chair back, of course she didn't make it in time.

What am I going to do? I know wine won't help me...but will vodka? I'm not sure...

Tell Me To My Face Lady!

Like the lioness, mother gorilla, mommy dinosaur and any mommy animal, I am very protective over my babies...just as you mommies out there reading my blog are as well I am sure. Some may be more so than I am. Those of you who know me know that I am all for independence and letting go, but when another mother has something to say about MY baby...well you better keep it to yourself or do like this chicken of a mother did and said it without my knowing until it was too late.

We were at Tar-jay yesterday getting the stuff we needed for back to school. I had my list that was sent for 1st graders in hand, the twins, and the cart pusher aka my husband. Not helpful as he was only a part time cart pusher as he "has a hot coffee in hand and can't push the cart." So there we were at the "Back to School" section and we had 2 of every requested item so we had:
tissues, clorox wipes, markers, crayons, colored pencils, #2 pencils, scissors, glue sticks, and the list goes on. Ok supplies done. Now we need a new backpack and lunchbox.

Now with the backpack and lunchbox I do want to get new ones every year because they do go through hell and god only knows what kind of crap is growing in them. The kids have learned that it would be nice if the backpacks matched the lunchboxes...they even took it further and had the file folder and binder match the lunch box and backpack too :)

So Tyler and Madison were looking through and there were some choices to be made there. Do we do Spongebob? Transformers? Princess? But last year was princess...oh but there's iCarly! Ok....breathe. Well there next to them were 2 little girls, one was right about the twins' age and was trying to help them decide...and pulling out different backpacks for them to look at. I thought "wow, Tar-jay can really get busted for these underaged workers!" But come to find out she too was a shopper! But why the interest in my kids? well she was cute and probably just nosy like Madison.

So Tyler finally decides on the Star Wars theme and we got his backpack, lunchbox, folder and binder. Madison, decides on iCarly. iCarly and her friend Sam is plastered all over the backpack and lunchbox, folder and binder. oy vay! The little girl comes over to me and informs me "I think she's picking everything iCarly..."
Me: "Yeah...I think she is" and I smile at her. "She loves iCarly. Do you?"
And she walks away.

Later on my cart pusher tells me that the little girl was telling her mother and her mother said "well iCarly is silly and that is why you are not allowed to watch that program." Well you know what ugly lady? if iCarly is silly then my kids and I must be out of our minds crazy. How dare she?! So now it all makes sense. The woman doesn't let her poor daughter be little girl which is why she was all in Madison's business. And if that woman had said that to my face I would have informed her that she should perhaps open her mind just a teensy bit and allow her daughter be a little girl and have some fun. Life is just too short and if she doesn't let her daughter have fun and be a kid she's going to grow up to be an uptight stuck up bitch like her!