Dora saves the Day!

It's Monday morning and a week away from Madi and Tyler's big birthday party. Can I use it for leverage to get just 1 good week out of them? Tyler I'm not so worried about, Madi...she's the one I would love just 1 good week out of. "Madi brush your teeth." no answer. "Madi, brush your teeth". no answer. "Madi, your party is cancelled". "ok! ok! just one minute and I'm only brushing the bottom ones." This is going to be a long long week.

So we're standing in the bathroom and after much debate she brushes her hair and I'm applying some make up so I don't scare the whole entire schoolyard and I matter or factly tell her, "oh I got an email from Santa." "What Santa say?" "Oh, nothing, he just wanted to know what Tyler wanted for Xmas." (I'm watching her reaction in the mirror and she thinks I'm just applying makeup) "what about me?!" "I dunno!" and her face was so angry!

and then we had a mini prego pause...and i said..."oh gawd Madi, did you get on the naughty list?!?" "NO! i didn't!" "well I dunno..maybe he'll email me later...that's weird" and we let the subject drop.

Later on downstairs she brings it back up and then she tells me, "well mom, I don't care if I'm not on Santa's list." "You don't?!" "No, cuz I know Dora will fix it." I think blood was streaming down my lips as I am biting down so hard to keep from laughing so hard. "What are you talking about? How is Dora going to fix it?" "Well mom, Dora saves Christmas all the time, didn't you see it last year? so don't worry, Dora will save Christmas and I will be on Santa's Christmas list."

Hmmmmm....I hope someone emails Dora this! This girl thinks Dora is going to save her....does she even realize that both Dora AND Santa don't exist?!?! Boy will she feel stupid when she's 12!

When does the "filter" develop???

So it's been crazy which is why I haven't written..but I just had to share this.

This morning my neighbor has an emergency and asks me to take her son up to school when we go, not a problem since he's in Madi's class. Madi hears this and starts to groan "that kid talks so much! omg!" Is this girl serious?! This coming from a girl who won't shut up sometimes...yet has a speech delay, go figure! So our little friend shows up and we're still getting our coats and shoes on for school so our friend waits for us to get dressed and we're in the mudroom area connected to our garage and the garage door was shut. So the kids are chatting away. They talk about how they have a garage too and Madi tells him that the other night we were watching Dancing with the Stars and the results of the election and "mommy doesn't want, um...what's his name mommy?"

"who madi?"
"you know that man you don't like when we were watching Dancing with the Stars?"
"Barney Frank"
"yeah Barney Frank! cuz now my mommy will get fired!"
I laughed and said "No, mommy won't get fired, but it's not as good for mommy's work"
"Yeah! We don't like him!"
And she tells all this to the poor kid she complains talks too much and who probably didn't care what is good for Madi's mommy's job!

So we finally finished, coats, hats, gloves, shoes and the garage door opens so we can walk to school.

Well, the minute the door opens we see Lou.

Tyler to our friend "do you know Lou?! He's annoying right?"
Madi to our friend at the same time "we don't like Lou!"
Our friend...well let's just say the poor thing's head was spinning I think.

Kids can be so cruel, it's awful. But then again there are kids who are annoying and deserves it...

So just in case Lou didn't hear what they said really loud about him, they chased him up the street saying they won't play with him anymore. Thank god Halloween is over I really don't want our house egged!

Do I look cute?

Madison comes home yesterday and tells me "Brad" (the Brad Pitt of kindergarten) is really cute. Her and her girlfriends, "Izzy" and "Annie" also think so and yesterday "Annie" started calling him sweetie pie. After she tells me this info she giggles! Then she tells me that the three of them hide behind chairs and calls for him and when he looks they blow him kisses. This is all really cute and innocent and I find it quite funny...other mothers not so much.

This morning we get up and I found a cute outfit to wear to school, she had informed me that she would like to look cute for "Brad." So we get dressed in a little corduroy skort and v neck sweatshirt with matching tights. And then her hair was half up with a matching hair tie. She checks herself out in the mirror and asks "do you think "Brad" will think I am cute?" I tell her I think "Brad" will think you look HOT! She giggles and says he would never say that and I said well yeah, he may not say it, but he will definitely think it! He's gonna think "OMG that Madi is soooo hot!" and she giggled.

For the rest of the morning and during our walk up to school she kept asking if her hair is ok. I'm probably creating a monster, BUT the way I see it at least if I am participating with her game then she will continue to confide in me. This way I'll know what they are doing in school. I bet the other mom's probably don't know half this stuff going on with their kids being interested in the opposite sex. "oh no! my kid is not like that!" yeah right lady! your kid is the worse! LOL!

I am a true believer of giving my kids that space to learn on their own and guide them, but not be overbearing. Overbearing can backfire and result in rebellion. I want my kids to be comfortable coming to me and telling me things that happen and what they are doing and I try to stay neutral and just listen and chat with them. If I judge them then they will start to hold back and not tell me things that are going on. Don't get me wrong, I don't let my kids run wild and let them string toilet paper all over your trees, I will gently guide them as they tell me things, but we need that trust level.

Same ol' sh*t, different day...

"There are only 2 of you, you only have 1 brother and you only have 1 sister, why do you guys have to fight the minute you wake up?!?!" asks my mom. Oh wait! That's NOT my mom yelling at me and my brother, that was ME yelling at Madi and Tyler! A little disturbed that the words my brother and I used to hear from my mother's mouth are now coming out of mine.

"Mom! Madi touched my toast and I am not going to eat it!"
I walk over and there Madi was with this sh*t eating grin on her face. argh! I look at the clock, 7:20am...really?! Are they serious??? So I give my first warning. Why do I bother? before I even issuing said warning they are already at it again. As I stand there looking around I wonder..."what am I looking for?!" and I start to laugh because it's only 7:20AM and I want to slam my head into a wall, preferably brick! Knowing my luck I won't die and will just lie there and will still hear them fighting over my body in a vegatative state. "Ok, separation time. Madi eat in the kitchen and Tyler in the dining room."

So they continue to eat in separate rooms...but I hear talking. Not yelling or fighting, but they were just chit chatting...FROM SEPARATE ROOMS! Help me understand. So they can communicate nicely from different rooms but not from the same. It apparently got tiring for Tyler because then he actually got up and stood in the doorway to chat with Madi. He doesn't enter the kitchen but just stands there and chats and they are fine.

And why do I have to ask 45 times for Madi to come down to breakfast? or for her to change? or to brush her teeth? I've sent her to school with no breakfast thinking she will starve and learn her lesson, but nope. She informs me that she was fine. Argh! I've told her that she will go to school in her PJs and she eventually changes, but on her own time. This girl is just relentless! She then has the audacity to ask me why I am so mean to her?! um hello! I start off nice, but after the 40th time of saying please come down for breakfast, the niceness is just no longer there. Or they will come down and I'll say something about them taking so long and not listening and they respond with a "my bad." I just want to ring their little necks but at the same time fall over laughing!

These kids will have me in the loonie bin soon...I hope they serve good food there...not that I would know the difference, I'll be crazy!

And we have a FIRST KISS!

How excited and proud was my son when he came home on friday afternoon? I knew something was up when I saw his face, he had this smirk all over it. I didn't ask because I know "Mega-mouth Madi" would tell me any minute, so I waited. Only 5 mins later I was trying to make sense of the story that was coming out of their mouths.

"Mommy "Annie" kissed Tyler!" Madi tells me.
"Get out! Really?! Why did she do that Tyler?" I ask.
"I don't know, she thinks I'm cute or something" Tyler explains.
And then I let the subject go to rest.

Later on, when I was helping Tyler get into the shower he tells me more...the juicy parts.
"Mom, there were THREE girls chasing me. They are in Madi's class. They think I'm cute!"
"Wow Tyler! That must be exciting! So how did "Annie" catch you? I know you run pretty fast."
"No, mom "Annie" runs REALLY fast!"
"oh?"
"ok, I let her catch me."
"why did you do that?"
"because she's kinda cute. And then she kissed me! on the head!"
And the whole time he was telling me this story, he had the cutest smile on his face. How sweet puppy love is. And so life moves on. I don't want him to have a big head :) so we go on to sing Dancing Queen in the shower.

These bath times are so precious. This is when my kids will have these "Oprah" moments with me. So now it's Madi's turn. Madi tells me that her and her friends, and yes they happen to be the same ones chasing my son the playa playa, talk about kissing,

"Mommy, today at school, me, "Annie", "Izzy", "Serena" talked about kissing. Kissing on the LIPS"
"Oh? What about kissing?
"I don't know. Well, "Annie" kissed Tylah"
"Yes I heard!"
"and Izzy wants to kiss "Justin""
"oh really? just "Izzy"?"
with a coy smirk she answers, "yeah...just Izzy"
That's when I found out there is a "I love "Justin" fan club in the kindergarten class amongst a few of the girls. Who could blame them though, "Justin" is just adorable and all the girls have a crush on him. He's the Brad Pitt of kindergarten.

Wow...this is only kindergarten. What will happen when they go to middle school and then holy cow high school?!

Note to self: save all the hair falling out of my head now and save it for a wig for myself. Will need to wear that for their high school graduation.

Loser!

Boys will be boys. Does it help that husbands and dads are also boys? No. So Tyler comes home and tells me that "Lou" calls him a loser at school and tattles on him all the time. We see "Lou" often and we often walk to school together, and when he gets together with my twins they are like an old married couple...or in this case threesome? (ew!) I try to explain to Tyler, with Madi lurking around the corner listening to everything I am saying, that "Lou" doesn't really understand what that means. Well, quite frankly I don't think Tyler really knows what that means, but that it's just not nice. So I try and explain that he should try and just ignore him and play with the other kids, but of course that's hard to do. My husband, Tyler's father, hears me talking to Tyler and "training him to be a wimp" and takes over. "Tyler, when he does that to you again put your finger up to your forehead like this (forms an "L" with his finger and thumb and holds it in front of his forehead) and tell him HE'S the loser.

So the next morning we leave the house and run into guess who...yup! "Lou" and the first thing my lovely twins do is put up their little "L's" in front of their foreheads. I wanted to laugh so hard but his dad was there and that would be immature of me. So we're walking and Madi does not give it up, so I say "Madi, we don't talk like that, please stop." "Yes mom! remember dad showed us last night?!" "No Madison, he did not." "Yes he did mom! remember?!??!!? remember??!?!!?" and as the responsible parent I denied denied denied. Oy! I should have let the act go and just said yeah it's true. and told "Lou's" dad that yeah, your kid is a jerk and if he doesn't watch it Tyler will kick his ass...that was the me in horns sitting on my shoulder talking...

Ok, so true, it's not physical fighting...just with words...but still!!! So how do we deal with this? And I realize that we can't. This kid comes from a family of losers. I realized this this morning as I watched his father imitate one of the "cool" baseball coaches of little league and was trying to befriend some of the older kids...older meaning 3rd and 4th graders. And as we walked down the hall and other kindergartners were greeting Tyler by name no one noticed "Lou"...at all. But how do I explain to Tyler that "Lou" is just acting out maybe...perhaps, out of jealousy? I can't.

And we have the mom. Drives me insane. She has all these thoughts of what a great parent is...of course THEY are, and she coaches me on how to handle Madison. I really wanted to tell her that perhaps she should handle her son who is a total loser and will get his ass kicked if he doesn't man up! But no....I will bite my tongue.

Don't get me wrong, the kids are all really cute. But there will always be a kid or two who are not so cute and they came from SOMEWHERE right?! And I would never say a kid is rotten or a loser unless he/she does something to one of myt little cubs...then it is ON. Bottom line, it's really hard for kids to grow and adjust and learn what is socially accepted and how to behave and make friends...but it's also just as hard for the parents. Some parents ARE losers and their offsprings will just be shit of luck! Do you remember the kid in school who just got picked on and laughed at just because he was well, a "loser"?, well that kid grew up to be the adult that STILL gets laughed at...only not in his face.

My Beloved Daughter....when will she learn?!

I know she's young, but good lord the things that comes out of her mouth. it's been a while since I've updated this...so we have started kindergarten which is why I have been just so busy trying to get us in a routine.

So before school I had to return some stuff I thought we would need and I brought the twins with me. We get to the counter and the girl asks, "Was there something wrong with it?", I answer "no", Madison pipes in with, "my mommy has no money." Thanks Madi, that's not why I'm returning it, but yeah...mommy has no money.

Trying to teach them not to say something and trying to explain it can be hard. Because they always choose to pick the most public place to say..."is it ok for me to say that mommy?" and of course 9 times out of 10 it's not polite and probably offend the person they are talking about and they asked me so loud that the person hears...

We start school finally and the first 2 days were pretty hell-ish. The first day Madi cried like she was brought to a torture chamber. It was pretty hot in there though...I think I lost 2 pounds by just standing there and add a screaming 5 yr old who kept running circles to avoid being caught. All the kids stood there and watched. So I calmly told her "look Madi you will make new friends and play new games!" and she screamed back "NO! I hate them!!!". That's a nice daughter I have...oi vay!

The 2nd day was the first day with the whole entire kindergarten class and maybe because I forgot to point out that she will be sharing a locker she FLIPPED! We get to her locker and the little boy was there with his dad. I introduced myself and Madi and they did the same. My beautiful daughter took 3 steps back, gave the little boy looks that shot out lasers and demanded that he "get that stuff out of THERE!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T want them THERE!!!!!!" and was completed bullshit! The poor little boy was so scared, his dad was scared and I wanted to melt into a pile of crap that the janitor would just sweep away later on. She refused to take her backpack off and put everything away in her locker. So we went in to see her teacher, because I couldn't do it anymore, she's the teacher and it was 8:30, so Madi is her problem now. And they figured it out and Madi shared her locker.

When we returned the next school day we got there first and boy was Madi excited. The girl seriously took all her stuff and spread it out all over the locker leaving the little boy no room for his stuff. I was horrified that she would do this AND had this evil giggling going on as she was doing it! She knew she was wrong because I did consolidate everything back into her side of the locker so her lockermate had room and although she was not happy she dealt with it and has been all week.

Let me just leave you with this..."Madi, if your classmates were mean to you and no one to play with what would you do then?!". "Nothing! I just do something by myself!"